Advice please. Honesty needed.

Weddings are only about you and your H2B!! Dont worry about everyone else! Im only inviting a small number from my office of say 40 people too!! Just invite whoever you want and dont worry about anyone else! Its your day!!!

Hi Excited bride. Thanks for your nice reply hun.

Well our office is only of 40 people but at 15 per head i can't afford tat many extra. I forgot to add that it is on a Thurday anyway and is only in a small chapel for the service then rest of family and friends will be invited to the evening making it to 65 but we wanted to keep it at that so we can have a better honeymoon as our budget is tight but we want the little extras like candy buffet nice venue decor etc and couldn't do any of that if we invite work. Is that bad. They always expect to be invited. x

This is for their weddings not yours.

I invited two of my closest colleagues and their husbands (more friends than colleagues really) and another 4 from the office (with husbands) to the evening, this is out of a department of 40 in an office of 700!!

It is your wedding, invite who you want to invite!!

Hi Abbigiggle1- Thanks for your reply hun that has made me feel much better. I just feel really bad. I suppose we could invite them after the buffet to pop in for a drink if they wanted. I could speak to my OH and see if he agrees on this. Then if people do or don't turn up i won't feel as bad. Thanks for that idea it has solved my worries i think. If OH agrees x

If it's on a Thursday, won't they all be at work, surely they won't be all able to have it off anyway.

Do what you and OH want/need to do.

I didn't invite everyone I work with. There are about 25 in the building that I am in, and about 8 came.

You can't invite the whole world, stop feeling guilty about it

Nobody has any automatic right to be invited to your wedding - not even family - so that's it really.

Thanks mrs c. Gosh i really thought it was just me being mean i do feel much better now you say you done it . I really wasn't expecting this many replies or people to agree with me. The thing that bugged me is one of my colleagues is getting married away next year to save money and another colleague said as we can't come are you having a party after to invite us all to. She said no but this is why i am worrying as they expect you to arrange something seperate for them but i don't have that kind of budget.

Hi,

Being as you are on a small budget, why not invite a small number of close family and friends in the day for your wedding breakfast, and the remainder of your guests in the evening, that way you are including everyone without going over your budget.

Just an idea, good luck ?

Personally i think it rude of people to expect an invite to a wedding. Break the mould. Tell your colleagues that your not having a big fancy do, and that it's only going to be close family and friends and that your very sorry that you won't be able to have everyone there.

I only work with 20 people, and i've invited 2 to the wedding because i share an office with them.

Thanks ajdown.

Charlie lou yes they will be in work but not in the evening which is when they willexpect an invite but now you have pointed it out i suppose maybe more to the point they may not all be bothered anyway as they will have work on the fri not that that matters as some go out mid week anyway lol

No, not horrible at all! I am wishing i could have said on.. so far the number for our wedding is like 150 and still growing and its only two months untill the big day! Put your food down and only invide close friends/ family and it will be fine. If you feel like you need to celebrate with work friends go out one night in yor area for a wedding shower or something- but don't if you can't afford it.

I'm not having a wedding breakfast to save on money i am having a later wedding then an evening buffet and like i say at 15 ph even for 4 extra people it would cost 60.

RBK- well i am glad you said that because i have always thought it rude like i mentioned above with the situation with another colleague i thought that was terribly rude and it should not have been said it should be her day and respected as that.

Hi,

I tend to agree, it is rude of people expecting to get invites to your special day. Do not feel guilty, its your day, only invite who you want to join you on that special day.?

Colourartist- yes well i have said this tomthe 2 girls i am close to that i will ask them to arrange a hen do/ wedding shower meal and drinks for me to go out and celebrate that way with them.

Yeah it seems to answer the whole thing. If you don't mind me asking your timings of things as we are getting married at 4 and will be arriving at the venue between 5.30-6pm after all the photo's ahve finished. I was thinking of 7.30 for evening guests to arrive and maybe 8.45 for the buffet to open. How did you do it? x

Yes that does help thanks. If you don't mind me also asking did you still do a seeting plan or did people sit anywhere? I don't know what to do.

Iwent to a wedding last year where the bride had 2 tables for the family which they chose themselves and then the other guests could just sit anywhere but she never hsd place names etc and she just stayed up greeting people then after the buffet the speeches. I felt really relaxed and not too formal which is how i want mine to be. If it all goes to plan lol.

Ah ok. I am just trying to get an idea of what to do and what works. Thank you for all your help and advice it has really helped and i appreciate it x

Thank you very much to everyone who replied to me i feel so so much better about it now and am starting to feel alot better. xx

Thanks for your reply bionicgrasshopper. I am glad you agree and your numbers seem to be similar so you know where i am coming from.

I just need to tell them now as i have told a few but not many as i am not the type to sit and announce it in the staff room so i don't want it to look like i have hidden it from people. Oh stress hey lol x

Total post hijack here but... coolartist87, you're the nearest I have to a date twin by the looks of it! I hadn't seen you on the list with all the 2011 Weddings! xxx

To OP - it's same in our office (I work in a department of 175 people in a building of 2500+ and yes, those in a team always invite each other to their evening dos, but my colleague Laura and I are also having budget small weddings and she only had 18 people (all family and a couple of friends) and no one was upset (she got married in July) and I am having 40 for the day including the 8 members of the wedding party (me, OH, my Mum, 3 BMs, Best Man and 1 Usher). I invited to the evening only 2 people with partners and only 1 other to the day (my manager who is also one of the witnesses). So don't feel guilty!

Hi vikingprincess- Thank you for your reply and i feel so much better for posting this and You all saying that is what you are or have done. I feel more relaxed about it now.

Glad to hear it!

We are only catering for 75% in the evening, at the venue's suggestion. Our package (Silver) was £80 / head + venue hire (£1800) incl evening guests / food and everything else the package offers:

The Harewood Silver Wedding Package
Dedicated Special Event Coordinator up to & on the day
Front of House Manager who will happily make all announcements on your day
One glass of Prosecco per guest for drinks reception on the House Terrace (weather permitting)
Use of the Grounds for photographs
Half a bottle of selected wine per person
One glass of Prosecco per guest for toast
Three course menu including tea, coffee & petit fours
Hot sandwiches for the evening meal
Complimentary menu tasting for the Bride & Groom
White chair covers with coloured sash
Loan of cake knife & cake stand
Ample free car parking
Late bar license until 1am
15% off at Confetti

Hi Missrae - Yeah, when i asked this they said they will provide 1 or 2 more than the exact amount but there is no guarantee. They said that if i cater for all then they will aim to do extra and that will cover any slight extra people or in the event of those people who take 2-3 of something there may have only been 1 each of.

How has your venue worked it? Are you supposed to quote less than the actual?