Advice please, in a BM pickle!

This solution is working for me - my best friend is my maid of honour, she also has 2 young girls who will be flower girls. her husband is coming and i was worried that her girls would be too much for her to cope with on the day so i have invited her mum and dad as well. i am in similar position in that we grew up together and so her parents are considered friends as well. therefore she will have 2 extra pairs of hands on the day and in the evening xx

I'd agree with Emsa - we're inviting OH's B's PIL so that his brother and wife are able to enjoy the wedding.

That's a good suggestion actually, I am hoping that when we pick a venue it will have a big enough capacity so that I can invite her mum and stepdad too, growing up her mum was like my second mum so I would love it if she was there. I had thought of maybe asking the girls to be involved but I'm not sure it would work, we're planning on having a fairly simple civil ceremony and if everyone I'm planning to ask says yes I'll have 4 BMs which I think will look like quite a lot, without flower girls added. Having said that, I love her babies to bits and it would be fab if they were involved. I'm also concerned that the 300mile distance means they don't know me very well though, not that it bothered her eldest last time we visited but her youngest will only be 18 months old... ARGH!!!!

Hi BabyPink. I had difficulties with my CBM. I asked her to be my CBM while she was a couple of months pregnant. Her little boy was several months premature & weighed just 1lb 14oz. He's fine now but it took a lot out of her. Then last year, days after our first bridemaids dress fitting her brother died suddenly in his sleep. She was (& still is to a degree) inconsolable. She felt like she was letting me down as she couldn't physically or mentally help with the wedding as she was so crippled with grief.

I sat her down & explained I wanted nothing from her but to look stunning (as always) in the dress we've chosen. She didn't make the rehearsal due to a severe panic attack. I then had to take into account that she may not be able to do the wedding. None of my friends actually know her (I met her through work) so they would have been confused as to why she wasn't there but I decided if she found it all too much, I would not replace her with one of my other maids.

I think you have to ask her. It's her decision at the end of the day to do what she feels is possible. My CBM had her little boy there tottering around & was more like a guest than the CBM, she helped the BM's when they were doing bits & pieces throughout the day. She loved every minute of it.

You have to give her the option but keep it all flexible. Hope that's of some help xXx

Hi Joanne,

Yeah that does help, thanks. I absolutely do have to ask her, but I want her to know that whatever she wants to do is fine, her family is her priority when it comes down to it and if they need her more than me then so be it!

Sounds like your CBM has really been through it, poor thing. xxx