Argh this is frustrating me, i could really use alternative views please
i have this friend, lets call him A. he s good fun, a real raconteur, generous, great company. however, he played a big part in a section of my life which i didnt enjoy. he helped me through it to a degree, and was a mediator between me and another party. he told me some lies at the time, though i didnt realise that until later. nothing damaging to me, but to make himself look better, and to curry favour with (yet another) party.
when i was good friends with him, he d ring all the time, i mean ALL the time. every day at least, sometimes more than that, for ages at a time. because he d helped me i lived with it.
then i found out he d told an enormous lie about something and it really changed my view of him to the degree that i no longer wanted him in my life. the calls all but stopped, now its about 2 or 3 times a year, and during the call he always says he ll come up and see me and madam etc etc etc, but its never arranged.
he s called today and left a message. despite him being good fun, i dont want him in my life, but i dont want to tell him why as it may cause issues. i ve tried ignoring the calls in the past, but on occasion, he ll ring and i ll answer and i cant not answer the phone, yet, i dont really want to talk to him as these days it just brings back a whole bunch of bad memories.
i see my options as A, dont ring him, but then he will contact me sooner or later and i ll have to speak to him. B, tell him i dont want him in my life - but what to say and how to say it? or C, something else. I dont want to email him. if someone else asked this question, i would say grow a pair of balls and be straight about it. I cant do that with this guy for various reasons which are too long and rambly to go into, and not that important anyway. the crux is though that i cant be direct about it. any ideas?