Age old issue ... the dreaded guest list

My problem is with the great-aunts and great-uncles! My grandparents on my mum's side have all lost their siblings, so thats not a problem - but on my dad's side his dad's sister is the one that ALWAYS has made an effort with me, as in sending birthday presents and cards every year since I can remember and even now as an adult, even if I don't see her very often (she's the other side of the country). I'm also 'friends' with her on facebook too. my dad's mum (aka: my nan!) is from a different country in Europe, and I've never met any of her siblings (only their children so my dads cousins when they come to the UK) - however my nan has asked my dad if she can invite them.. we have a very limited amount of guests we can invite to the day, and we're already dropping some friends over family for this and I don't know how I'm going to say no to them, even though its unlikely they'll come, but still I want to invite my other great aunt. This is confused some more on the basis my OH's parents are only children so no actual aunts/uncles that side but his great-aunts and great-uncles are his next closest relations. His great-uncle on his mum's side we get christmas cards from and have seen him as a couple together several times so I'm happy with him - but his mum wants to invite the other two great aunts and their husbands - of which I have never ever met, nore remember their names (we've been together 6yrs) and we never communicate in away and live far away too. (They also live near the great-uncle we're fond of)

So in a way, we both want to invite and feel we should invite just one great aunt on my side, and one great uncle on OH's side - but don't know how to say no to the others when they're 'equal' family members when it comes to the family tree. Also, the thought of just inviting them to the evening wouldn't work as none of them live near us (closest being 3hr drive away - furthest about a 3hr flight away).. and we don't want to drop out more friends to fit them in that we see on a weekly, even daily basis for close work friends!

And also on the other hand - I don't think its fair to invite the great aunt/uncles on OH's side and not mine when I feel like my one great-aunt is closer - but if we don't invite the OH's aunt/uncles, the only family he is going to have there is his parents and brother and SIL!

Family's eh!

I'd say don't worry about being even on both sides of the family, or which generation you're inviting. My OHs family is massive so we'll only be inviting aunts and uncles, whereas my side is small and we'll be going down to 2nd/3rd cousins and he'll still outnumber mine 2:1!

If you don't know someone's name, I wouldn't worry too much about inviting them...it's your day and you should do what you want

We're inviting extended family (aunts, uncles & cousins) from H2B's mum's side but not his dad's side - purely because they have never met me and don't know us as a couple, whereas we are close to his mum's side! Nothing religious about it, I just think people at our wedding should at least know us both!! ? his family outnumber mine massively anyway so that hasn't had anything to do with it!

Speak to your mum, she may not be upset, she may understand.

At the end of the day its your wedding so do what you want. Easier said than done though, you need to be brave!

I do have a similar situation whereby all of my mum's side of the family are invited - aunts, unclues, cousins, 2nd cousions as we're really close with my mum's side. However, my dad's side of the family we're not close to at all, I haven't seen any of them for around 15/20 years. So I would say don't worry about it being uneven and as for worrying about your mum - talk to her and see what she says. When I raised the issue with my dad (I said I'm more than happy to invite them if he wanted me to) he was absolutely fine and agreed with what I thought. Don't worrry about it, it's your day and you want to be comfortable, your mum will understand I'm sure. Good luck and you will feel so much better once it's all decided and out in the open!

We are inviting extended family from my mum's side and OH's mum's side, but not my dad's side or OH's dad's side.

This is partly because we don't know them as well and never really saw them much growing up, but also because both dads are 1 of 6 so it makes the guest list huge! We were upfront about it and have only had 1 mardy auntie get her lip out but the rest completely understood.

I'd do what's right for you because as the wedding planning goes on, you'll get to know only too well that guest list issues will start to be the least of your worries!

Sorry if that was a dreary post, on a bad one today!!!

I have the larger family, OH has already said he doesnt want his uncle and cousins there from his mum's side.

I however am inviting one of my grandmothers' sisters (very close to my mum and gran) to the day, and all of her children and grandchildren to the evening, and my only surviving grandfathers' brother with same for the night. However they are both on my mum's side. And this is where I have problems. My gran is upset that i'm not inviting her other sister...who is a drunk and whenever ive seen her in the past ten years has called my brother Bernard (my dad's name)

On my dads side my grandad was one of 13 children, he died 7 years ago and i have only seen one cousin since, think my dad may want to invite some of them but again only to the night, same with the cousins on his mum's side (who are geographically close) but im just going to have to grin and bear it...they are my family and thats the end of it to me!