AIBU?

I think your husband is being ridiculous. i'd have given him £20 seeing as how you used half the tank!

Thanks QB

That is what I was going to do but since he kicked up a fuss that was the compromise i came to

Is it a joint car? If it is his car then I can understand why he is miffed as the additional money is often to cover wear and tear to the car as well as the petrol. If it is a joint car then I don't know why he is so upset - can you do something together with the money? I don't think my H would have asked me for the rest of the money now I think about it.

I'm tired so I apologise for the questions but he paid for petrol which you used about £20 for for your course but he thinks you should give him the £90?

Assuming you keep your finances seperate to a degree I don't think you're being unreasonable at all and would give him £30 and keep £60 as it was your course, you did the driving etc

This is exactly why we have a joint account only!

I always thought the "40p per mile" thing is supposed to cover other wear and tear on the car, so if it is your joint car and you contribute to repairs then he is BU, otherwise I suppose he should get it all.

Depends who pays for the tax, insurance and vehicle wear and tear

It is a joint car and we have seperate and joint accounts.

Our MOT and car tax is due next month so perhaps I will offer that the money is put towards that.

Thanks for your views guys, I just wanted to check that it wasn't me

That should say 50

My H says your H is being unreasonable

How bizarre. As others have said - the reimbursement is for petrol, wear and tear and cost of ownership - nothing to do with your travel time. However, it's up to you to 'negotiate' what you pay your H to use his car - could be 40p per mile, could be less. I do find this all very odd though. I would never formerly pay to use my H's car - more likely, I'd fill it up before returning, or try to remember to pay next time he filled it up. Any windfall like this we'd probably share - not 50/50 cash split, but going out with it perhaps. We would certainly never divvy up the pennies on it - and that's from two people who run their accounts quite separately. This sounds more like the conversation you'd have with a friend than a husband.

If you own the car jointly, then the money should be split between you both. Who did the driving is neither here nor there.

I have to agree though, it seems an unbelievably petty argument and one which sounds like goes a bit deeper. Maybe he feels he contributes more financially or something like that. It might be worth trying to talk to him about it (when he stops the silent treatment).

? Sorry but I can't believe you are married and you are arguing about money like this

I agree with Marine Girl and Ice Queen, it's a very odd argument for a husband and wife to have. Mr Hole would never 'charge' me to use the car, how very bizarre.

If I were you I would be telling him to grow up, you're husband and wife, not acquaintances or colleagues.

WSS, but then thats coming from someone in a household where all money is shared, regardless of who earned it.

I agree that it sounds like a conversation you'd have with a friend/colleague you car shared with, rather than your husband.

YANBU.