AIBU?

I wouldn't want to see her. I'd make that clear to your FiL, but equally make it clear that you would like to see him. It doesn't sound like the relationship will last, so sadly if I were you I'd be writing off any chance of having the child in your lives long-term.

I have to agree with Sophie on this one. Is your FIL likely to visit with just the child or would that cause more problems?

This girlfriend isn't going to change suddenly, she's clearly got a lot of problems as has you FIL.

Given it sounds like you don't have a relationship with the daughter anyway, I wouldn't hesitate to make a point of avoiding the girlfriend. I wouldn't make a big deal about culling or announce it, I just wouldn't see her, contact her...

He isnt allowed to have her on his own so no.

I dont contact K or anything anyway. Its just we all used to go places like Brands Hatch and stuff but if I say im not going, OH wont either so I feel guilty for making him miss out.

Your all right though, we dont have a relationship with OHs sister anyway, the times we have seen her she wont go near us as she doesnt have a clue who we are.

It just bugs me that us walking away is giving her just what she wants and I really dont want her to get her own way anymore but then thats just me being mean! lol

She sounds entirely nuts. I would have nothing to do with her. The more people accept the behaviour, the more it gives her no reason to stop

L
xx

Oh she is. The reason she smashed the photo frame over his head was because he wanted to take his camera to the zoo! She flipped out and threw his computer across the room because he emailed his sister in america. I really dont know how he puts up with it. Shes destroying his house bit by bit and also his relationship with his son and he is letting her. I just want to shout at him to grow a pair!

I don't think YABU at all and despite his dad being involved, I wouldn't want my OH having anything to do with them either. The only thing is that I would have serious concerns about the baby's welfare and by staying in touch you may be guage how well she is being looked after.

I do feel sorry for you though.

Em

Thats another post all together. Yes the baby is fed/clean/loved. But she will be 1 in september and she hasnt made any kind of noise (my nephew was 'singing' at this stage and telling all kinds of stories), she has only just started to try to move. She looks at other people as tho they are alien to her. She has no interaction at all, just lays on the floor on her play mat. But this is only what we have seen, they might be totally different with her when were not there, who knows.

Its horrible really and I have no idea how to resolve all the issues we have as K wont actually speak to us.

I may be over reacting (but I dont think so) .....social services should be involved - a known heroin user that couldnt stop whilst she was pg? Who knows what sort of neglect (if not worse) that child is suffering, let alone the damage done whilst in the womb. The safety of that baby far over rides the way she treats anyone else.

Im so glad you said so! Ive been thinking it for a while. The police were called a couple of nights ago because of arguing, am I right in thinking the police will keep a record of the fact the baby was there (and screaming)?

I dont know about that, I would have thought they should report that stuff through but I don't know. Personally I think I would make an anonymous call to ss.... at the very worst people would think I'm a nosey cow, at best you could save that childs life. I would be asking myself why I'm not allowed to see or hold her? She is known to be violent to people who can defend themselves, let alone those that cant.

What mummy2f said. I have a lazy boy who didn't crawl until he was a year old and still isn't speaking much but he was always very active and noisy. I'm no expert at all but it doesn't sound quite right to me- better to make an anonymous call than worry about how she's being looked after.

I totally understand that some children are just like that but Im sure its just down to the fact that she has no one talking/playing with her.

Your right about SS...my OH has seen her bang the babys head against a wall and a door frame. I should have made the call a long time ago. Thanks everyone.

? That poor child. How awful to be brought up in that environment. You need to involve social services asap. (I'm assuming there's more to that story than it sounds, as I don't understand why you didn't call then.)

WZS - with bells on. Although if she was on smack during her pregnancy she may well be known to them.

To my knowledge, she did it around the time she fell pregnant and hasnt done it since but who knows. Either way, I dont agree with it but I dont think the police or anyone was involved orhad knowledge of it.

The important thing is that you do something NOW. Please let us know what happens - if you can without compromising bub in any way.