All change ladies and gentlemen, all change please

Oh fjy sorry to hear this, but how could they possibly think you are being selfish?! does your M2B not understand the circumstances? If it matters that much to her she can fork out the 1500 squid instead? I think you are doing the right thing, and it must be hard having to contact people now and tell them. Maybe you could have a family 'reception' at his mums at a later date for all the well wishers.

Well actually, my mum has offered to do an open house the next day for people to drop in and celebrate a drink with us, which is really nice. MIL2B kind of squashed it saying that the family won't travel the hour or so to come to that for just an hour or so. (Which in my opinion means they neve really cared much in the first place.) I just feel quite stressed out, it's bad enough H2B not bringing in an income and everything being reliant on me but this makes our financial situation so obvious to everyone else, which he feels embarassed about. Just a difficult time that's all.

Just tell everyone you are both so sorry but with your h2b being made redundant you just cant invite everyone. What about having a party at a later date when finances are looking good for everyone? x

Fvj the thing is, you don't have a choice. so your only option is to go ahead as you are planning to and make the most of it. I think your mum's idea is brilliant and as you say - if they care, they will make the effort - people travel longer then that for family occasions. the sooner you get it done (letting the extras know they are no longer invited) the better and you can carry on with concentrating on the planning and everything else. you could put something in writing saying that due to unforeseen circumstances you have been required to change your plans, and that to those who still wish to share in your celebration, there will be a family reception at xx .

On a positive note, I have done a lot of 30/40 guest weddings, and they are lovely, especially if the venue is suited to that size too. The best one was in a relatively small room of a castle and all 30 people were seated round one long table.

On the awful task of contacting the people who aren't invited.....honesty is the best policy. if you are completely straight and apologetic, I'm sure they will understand.

Sorry to hear of your and yourH2B's situation.

Whilst in an ideal world all of the extended family get to come to the day unfortunatley things are very expensive and often that isnt possible.

I think family should understand and to start married life in debt is certainly not something that any couple should aim to do (IMO) particulary if H2B is looking for work.

Im sure the intimate day will be perfect. We arent having a big day purely because the day isnt about showing off how many people you know but about your commitment to eachother.

I havent invited cousins to the meal as H2B and I had a real think and listed people that would make the day special- people would would quite like and then people that we werent so worried either way - in my case those people are on the evening list.