All of it seems to be one big competition!!!

Ignore her! She sounds like a nightmare! Your wedding day will be special because it's about you and your OH, it's not about how much money you throw at a day ?

Smile sweetly and tell her that "All the money in the world won't buy class".

Im just so fed up of smiling at her and saying awwww that sounds nice.

When I know she is only doing it to make me flip out and then turn it round so I look like the bad person for going off on one.

If I keep biting my tongue I wont have one left

Wow, she is clearly terrified that you will out-do her!

It is very low-class to ask anyone questions about money. Suspect the mother is 'nouveau riche'.

Also suspect you are thinner, prettier and younger than her and it is killing her!

Agree - smile sweetly and get hers out of the way, not long now. Yours will always be better because I bet your friends are all a hundred times nicer than hers!

If you feel that you need to say something, just make sure it's not the kind of negative reaction she's looking for. I'd tell her quite politely that you're pleased she's so interested in your day/your dress, but you're secure enough with your own decision making ability that you don't feel the need to have it verified by others. If that means she thinks your dress is cheap, or whatever else, so be it. You know differently- and even if it was cheap, good! As long as you love it that's all that matters.

I'd probably also have a bit of a subtle dig, whilst casually browsing through a wedding magazine or something. I'd find a lovely wedding and mention how wonderful it is to be planning the wedding you want and how it must be utterly awful to plan feeling like you have something to prove. That's just me though, digs are optional! ?

That's what OH said, she's probably worried that im going to look better.

Im just fed up of it now, at Hannahs wedding a few months ago she sat there with her friend and slagged the whole day off because it was a very low budget wedding BUT it was an amazing atmosphere and everyone enjoyed themselves. They didn't want to spend thousands as they were trying to find themselves a new house.

The whole day was oooh I don't like her dress.........which by the way was amazing fit her like a glove and she looked fantastic. she complained about the food, the DJ even the hyms. I was sat on the same table and could hear her sniggering behind me and talking constant sh*t.
Now im worried she'll be like that on my day making me feel uneasy.

I don't want ot keep feeling like I need to make my day sooooo amazing for everyone else that I forget what its all about!! ME AND H2B.

If she really is that awful, relish in the fact that she'll have a crummy day at your wedding! (her own choice of course) don't let it ruin yours. Let everyone else have a lovely time whilst she sits there pre-occupied with being spiteful. Everyone else will just think the same as what you did when you heard her at the other wedding "wow, what a rude, ungrateful cow" and that'll be the end of it. You'll be having a great time and she'll be sitting there looking like a slapped bum. No skin off your nose ?

Honestly? Catch her out of the stuff she says - particularly about other weddings - she'll be more careful saying spiteful stuff if she thinks it's going to get her in trouble. I've had people like that - my own sister was bad too so I used to say things like: "Are you saying she's cheap? Have you said that to her?" I reckon she's saying it to you as she knows you're too much of a lady to repeat it or pull her up on it. Pick your moments though so you don't end up looking b!tchy - all you really need to do is point out her nasty remarks a couple of times & maybe once or twice around someone else - she won't do it again!

Oh dear what a cow! She sounds like a nightmare, you have my sympathy having to deal with her! My OH's brother is getting married a few months after we are and I'm hoping it's not going to turn into a competition...asking information about people's budgets is just SO RUDE! Everytime she says something b*tchy, look shocked and say "did you mean to sound like such a b*tch" or, if you're a bit more polite than me ? just say "did you mean to sound so rude"?! She shouldn't get away with making comments like that.

I THINK I MIGHT START ASKING HER THINGS LIKE THAT...sorry for caps.

Cheers girlies .

I will also keep in mind that my day will be about me and OH getting married, a day about us. Yes I want people to enjoy themselves but im not going OTT and spending loads just so I have people thinking I spent a fortune!

Thanks again girls,

Wow she sounds like a lovely person ... not!

She sounds immature and insecure, other people will clearly see this and also she will look very silly if she is laughing at others. People like this just annoy me so you have my sympathy.

It’s hard not to just flip out but this is exactly what she wants, it will annoy her more if you say nothing. She obviously has very little else to do with her time than compete with others.

Agree with the above, just say “oh how rude” or “wow i would be so embarrassed if i was you” she will soon zip it.

You could have £500 or £50000 to spend it doesn’t matter, it’s what you make of the day.

My FSIL is always saying “oh we had that at our wedding” “Oh we had this at our wedding” i just smile and nod my head, i am thinking something else though ha.

On the flip side she might just be excited about her wedding and wishing to talk about it to a fellow bride and the fact that she has a larger budget (I assume) is making you feel a little insecure about your own wedding?

As someone with a larger budget I would like to think my friends (and I would like to think a few people on here are included in that) can be happy about my plans without them thinking that I am bragging or turning wedding planning into a competition about who spent the most money etc.

I certainly do not look down my nose at anyone with smaller budgets, each weddings what the couple make it.

Or a happy marriage.

This is exactly why people won't think you are bragging about your beautiful wedding Funky, because you have some manners!

Sdurn, you also have a year in between the weddings so plenty of time to relax and ignore her comments. It will be hard for her to compare a year afterwards and will just look like sour grapes, keep smiling.

It won't become an competition unless you compete. I bet she's abit like this about everything isn't she, not just weddings? It's an insecurity thing. if you aren't insecure then you won't get drawn in.

Have the wedding you want and if she does make snidey comments then you know it's her issue, not a reflection of your day!

THIS! She sounds like a complete cow!

xxx

Well im going to carry on smiling sweetly and saying wowwy sounds lovely.
Im also not sure if she is over compensating for her wedding....her mummy dearest seems to be planning a lot of her wedding, buying things without asking her. Maby she is just acting like she is completely inlove with all decisions when maby shes crying inside that her mum is having her perfect wedding day.

But the laura being laura is spitefull, we were all having a joke about the stag do, I said the boys have to get home in one piece and she flew! saying that I should be worried about my OH and what he's getting up to..i didn't say anything mean I aimed the comment at all the lads but she went mental then stopped talking to me for ages. She planted that little thought in my head and I rang OH to ask what she was talking about, he then got angry with her for sh*t stirring as it was her other half trying to search for the perfect stripper.

If I need to staple my cheeks into a smile I will lol

She sounds like a right cow! I'd be seriously tempted to kick off and tell her exactly what I think of her but well done for not doing that, as I'm sure it would be turned around on you.

Weddings are great at any budget. I don't get why some people try and make a competition out of it.

Plan your day how you want it and enjoy it. You could have the grandest wedding ever and she'd probably still find things to whinge about.

Seriously she sounds terribly insecure, about her wedding, her relationship etc

Honestly as hard as it is just do not give her the satisfaction of seeing she has riled you. As others have said bite your tongue amd smile.

The sort of person she sounds like means that if you ever do snap you'll be the one in the wrong

I have a friend just like this, thankfully I don't see her much at all anymore so don't have to put up with it as much,
Always get jealous, bitter, bitchy people who can't take anyone else being happy. She's obviously very insecure and probably isn't as happy as she's making out about her plans. The fact she may think you'll look better, have nicer things..a nicer dress whatever it may be will be killing her, and by the time your big day comes hers will be over and done with and the excitement will be on yours. My guess is she'll still be being as bitchy about everything by then as well as it'll be killing her. Try and keep in mind that you're a much better person by the sounds of it and that she's just clearly being horrible as she's not satisfied with her own life.

I agree with many others, just keep calm and ignore the biatch. She's obviously just looking for a reaction out of you.

On another note, why do people go to weddings just to slag them off?! I HATE that at my friend's wedding two of her supposed best mates decided to play a very spiteful game of four weddings, negatively comparing it with their own day (and dream day for the one not yet married) and trying to get me and another friend involved too. It disgusted me.

I had never realised that people can be so rude. Until I started planning the wedding that is. I've had people asking how much my prospective venues are, how much i'm spending on the dress etc etc.

You're SIL sounds like an absolute nightmare! She clearly feels threatened by you and because her wedding is before yours is worried you may think of something she hasn't. I really don't think it comes down to how much you spend at the end of the day, as long as you make it personal to you and your OH, you'll outshine her and her no budget wedding! Which btw is pretty uncouth to be shouting about.....

If she's throwing endless amounts of money at the day she will almost CERTAINLY have a meltdown if ANY minor aspect of her day goes wrong, relax in the knowledge that by having a budget (that is none of her business) you are able to focus more on what the day is about than whether people think you're rich and how much money people think you've spent.

Relax into it, enjoy her day and be safe in the knowledge that you're having the day YOU want and not spending it having to prove to your friends and family that you're worth something!

Something similar happened to me. Me and H2B decided to start to plan our wedding last year in January.In March H2B friends' girlfriend was questioning what i'd got and who i'd booked my stuff with which I didn't think twice about telling her because she wasn't getting married. Then I saw her asking about some invitations on facebook so I text her asking if she was getting married and she said they'd decided to do it in December (we had to wait til this July!) and she had copied EVERYTHING. Got her decor from the same place, had the same car, the same photographer. I was mortified. She kept having digs at us too because her mum and dad paid for everything whereas we paid for it all ourselves. Her mums a manager in a dress store so she kept telling me she only had the best things and her dress was the top of the range etc. It put such a downer on my day.

The upside is she had over bragged about her wedding, telling people they'd spent £15000 and how amazing it was going to be. It was a flop. It wouldn't have been a flop if she didnt brag about it but you went thinking "this is going to be a cracking, she got her dress, the bridesmaid dresses and suits for free so imagine what £15000 could get you! It really wasn't anything special and everyone thought the same as everyone left before 10am.

I think Laura is a little concerned you might "out do" her. Which seems daft, because you don't seem interested in out-doing anyone or causing competition. Maybe she thinks you're going to look better? Or have a better venue?

The fact you're paying for your wedding yourself, as are we, means at the end of the night you can sit with your husband and click your glasses of champagne and say WE DID THIS!

Ignore her and don't give her the time of day. I ruined a year of planning over worrying about what she had and how much better hers was going to be!

Your wedding is going to be amazing, you're going to look fabulous and you're going to feel fabulous. And once she's married you're going to say "why did I just work myself up about that?" Trust me.

Good luck xxx

Cheers girls

My OH is best man and he has the rehearsal tomorrow.

Im just going to ignore it smile sweetly and say wow cant wait to see all!!

Thing is I don't think she gets that I don't care if she has an icecream truck or a big tree with choccy bars stuck to the branches. At the end of the day she's doing what she wants and so am I. I don't no why she feels she has to try and play the make them jelous game.

I just want a fun day where everyone can say they had a laugh and enjoyed themselves. I don't want to feel like im sat there with burning ears because she's sat in a corner bitching about my every choice and move!

Hey, just think... at least you get a "test run" so you can see what looks good and what doesn't and then you can adjust yours ha. xxx

Me and my best friend are both planning weddings with totally different tastes and budgets but we both support each other and are excited for each other. Its a happy time and its great when you have someone to share it with but it sounds like she is determined to ruin that for herself. She sounds like a spiteful cow and she must be deeply unhappy if she is going to so much effort to bring other people down. I know Im glad Im paying for my own wedding so I can have what I want whereas it seems like she will be having her moms wedding!

I reckon you should send us some sneaky flashes of her day. Im intrigued to see the amazing 'budget free' wedding!!!?

at least your wedding will be based around your and your OH's love for each other as it should be, and not trying to compete with the Jones's

xx

Clearly something is wrong. Either generally insecure. Also, she apparently is extrememly judgemental about weddings, so perhaps she is fearful that's how everyone is. I'd say my honest answer to any friends anxiety over their house (or special do). 'Noone is looking at the house, we came to see YOU'. It is entirely true, cuts to the point and maybe will put the fear into her. Who judges all the frippery? They came to see a happy couple they love and celebrate.

Treat it as insecurity. Reassure her. I am sure it will be great, because you two will be so happy. Underline yo her... bring her back to what it's all about

To clarify, i mean to her. When she's off on one about money/ expense. Just say 'you sound worried about what people think. Don't they're all there for you two'

Look on the bright-side the year between your wedding and hers, she could be going through a messy divorce and not even there!! Its not the day that makes a marriage!!! (sorry thats just the bitchy way of looking at it that I would) xx