am I being a meanie?

No not at all,how old is she? I'm an evil stepmother too and its hard to try and deal with a child who has two homes and two sets of rules. I would explain that you can't afford a blackberry so soon after buying the touch screen,if she wants it that much her mum can buy it for her!

She's 12 and it's bloody hard being a step mum. I have to stop OH doing the guilty dad thing and going over the top.

she also has a bad habit of trying to play her mum and dad off each other and trying to get expensive things, but neither me nor her mum fall for it...much to her annoyance!

like with this phone, my OH has only just started working after looking for over a year...we have been living off my disability benefit...but as soon as step daughter knew he had a job she wanted the blackberry, not as a birthday present, just as a present!!!!

Not a mean step mum at all, she sounds like a spoilt little madam TBH. It'd be a firm No from me.

Not at all, she sounds quite spoiled for me. I can almost hear my own mums voice in my head saying 'until you start to use the things you are bought, we won't be buying you anymore'

Not a stepmum myself, but my ex did have 2 kids and I witnessed the playing off thing and the guilt buying thing a lot, especially by the age of 12 I imagine she's got this down to a tee.

I hear that a bit too!...and yes she has!

thanks guys, I don't feel such an evil stepmum now! lol

xx

You've never come across as an evil step mum, that's me, surely? ?

noooooo not you....you can't be, you like Hello Kitty ?

Haha, yep, i like HK, just don't like my step kids...

Actually, tell a lie, my step daughter is fine now, its just my step son I have issues with.

You always come across as a doting step mummy though. (is that too fluffy for OT? ?)

Noooo this is ME! I actually bought a book recently on step parenting as it's a complete and utter minefield. You are being sensible not evil!

thank you xx .....(omg yes!! people have been kicked off for less ?

really? bet that's an interesting read ?

Eh............not so much. Buuuuuuuut, it did make me feel less of a monster! The woman who wrote it had lots of step parentage experience and totally validated all of those (perfectly natural) negative feelings. Well up to the end of the first chapter anyway. After that I wouldn't know.... :-D

I need a book (or hit man) that can get my step kids mum to stop treating them like babies. That would solve all my step mummy issues!

Not that I know anything about step-parenting but you're definitely not an evil step mum! She needs to learn respect for money and the things she has. I think the most important thing is that you and your OH are presenting a united front (ie. it's not just you saying she can't have the Blackberry).

Can you send them our way- 7 year old is still dressed by his mum!

Do you and MrMini have to dress him?

*joins evil stepmum bench*

I'd give her a book on manners. End of.

PS I have two step children.

No we make him do it here, it takes forever though. She also feeds him as it takes too long for him to eat his nuggets/burgers/fish fingers* and chips. As in actually cuts the food up and puts it in his mouth, like you do with babies.

*all they are fed is a combo of one of these.

Same as my step kids. They'll only eat that sort of stuff. It takes them an hour and a half to eat, Jacobey eats faster than them, they take the pi$$.

At age 11 my stepdaughter couldn't recognise a cauliflower.

I'm so glad I'm not a step parent.

My dad offered the kids a plum last summer- neither of them knew what it was.

my stepson came round one weekend to tell us that he now liked carrots. We were quite happy with this as they have no fruit or veg at home at all so went out and bought some carrots for them. When we served them up he wouldnt eat them as they "wernt carrots, they hadnt come out of a tin"

Ditti Lasagne- StepD told us she liked it so I made one, I even used a jar of white sauce as opposed to making one. She refused to eat that because it wasn't the same as the one she had had at home- when I asked a bit more turns out it was an Asda microwavable one...

I could probably go on forever like this...

Shocking.

Oh my...

My SD will eat chicken nuggets, chicken dippers, chicken fingers, but says she doesn't like chicken breast, and refuses to eat it ?

Luckily, they do eat veg.

Its all about appearence for our 2, at xmas we had a breadcrumb buffet for them on boxing day, there was no point in doing xmas dinner for them as they wouldn't eat any of it. SS ate garlic battered prawns as we had told him they were chicken nuggets yet refused to eat the prawns MrMini and I had as he didn't like them (read as never tried them) He couldn't register at all that the taste and texture were different.

I think thats what it is with my SD. She's so used to frozen cr@p, she cant appreciate fresh stuff.

She said she didn't like blackcurrent squash, but would demand ribena or blackcurrent fruit shoots. Got H to make her normal squash and she loved it. Her mum just gives her what she wants for an easy life (thats why my 4yr old SS still wears pull ups and has a dummy). They know now that im not a pushover like their mum. Hard work, but we're getting there

You won't be doing her any favours buying her everything she wants. H went out of his way to buy his kids what they wanted at Xmas and birthdays. Now they are in their 20s and have no concept of the value of money and think that they should have everything they want without working for it (except the elder one)

If you just bought a touch screen phone for yourself 4 months ago you wouldn't be considering buying a blackberry, so I would measure your reasonableness against that.

Crickey guys, can'r believe some of the things....not knowing what a cauliflower or plum is...that's shocking!

SD used to be soooo fussy, wouldn't eat anything fresh, only liked frozen processed crap. She's much better now but still fussy (read that as won't try anything new only on her terms!)..SS is an absolute dream... he is as good as gold and will eat anything (probably coz he's 7 and I've been in his life since he was 3 so has had to eat what we do!)

And ebony rose, just realised who you are!! D'OH lol

Haha, was it me mentioning Jacobey?

Yeah! ?

for a redhead I do have blonde moments!!!!!

Not mean at all. Children need to understand the value of money. I would tell her that if she wants something she needs to earn it.

My Stepkids are like this. H doesnt have any of it but their mum will buy them things in an attempt to be the 'good' parent.

They're good as gold at our house but complete monsters at their own. What does that tell you!!

Gahhh! What a brat. For this reason i wish they would ban mobiles at school.

I bet she wouldn't want it if it meant she couldn't flash it around to her mates.

Anyho, don't give in. If she wants one get her to earn it. Jobs around the house or even a little job.

Stay strong! ;-)

You may think you're an evil step mother but better that than being seen as a mug.

btw, i am an evil mother and i plan to practice my talent in being mean when my two get to mobile phone neediness age. No way are they getting an expensive phone to get stolen.