Am I being a total bridezilla (guessing I am...but opinions would help..)

I wouldn't be annoyed but I would be worried about the things you've outlined about your family's attendance.

I would hope that they would either come to both or just to yours if their US one is their main one.

With regards to you attending their wedding I'm afraid there's not much you can do about that of you can't afford it.

If I'm honest I'd be annoyed. I was so relieved when my best friend set her date for 4 weeks after ours! lol

However, my rational self would have a workd with my bridezilla self and tell me not to be so stupid. You have to just keep quiet, congratulate them and carry on as if it doesnt bother you, because it isnt their fault you waited for your sister etc.

I can understand how you would feel after waiting patiently for your turn. All I can say is if their wedding(s) are before yours, you should make sure you find out every detail about what they are doing and top it, it sounds a bit petty but it will make you feel much better about people coming to yours after and having a better time. Just always remember the thing that matters most is the fact you are marrying the one you love, not when and where the wedding is! ?

I don't think I'd be annoyed as I would imagine they haven't done it on purpose BUT I would have a word with them before they book (if they haven't already) and outline your worries about people paying to come over twice etc...I do think that's a bit of a problem but they might not have thought about that? Have you already sent out save the dates? If not then I would so people can know way in advance when your big day is x

Yes I think that's something that needs to be discussed...perhaps they hadn't thought about that part with the money/timings issue.

I'd actually rather them get married even sooner, say this year rather than right around month/two before ours! But guessing that won't be achievable! :/

Had not sent out save the dates, but had passed it on by word of mouth/email etc and everyone knew the date was definitely booked...perhaps I will invest in some save the dates now though!!

I would get a bit annoyed and it would concern me, but on the other heart I always follow my heart. I wouldnt think it is wrong if you had got engaged around your sis's wedding, I don't think it would still he thunder. One of my mates is planning to propose to his girlfriend during our reception wooohhoooo I am sooo happy! It is up to u 2 how you do it. If you were worried about stealing her thunder then you could get engaged that time and announce it straight after the wedding! Anyways, why don't you change your wedding date? I would hate to wait any longer for my wedding. You have been together for so long and you waited and waited when u didnt actually have to. You deserve to get married first. Why dont you do your wedding earlier???? Like....January, February????? Or even earlier maybe! I don't see what is wrong with that. Say to your fam, we really don't want to wait and we can't wait to get married, we managed to find a date earlier so we are doing it then instead!

No, no, no, no, nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

He was asking advice of when is the best time to do it and we said to him do ir on our wedding day, as the end of our reception though! As long as its the end of it then its ok! It would be funny if she cought my bouquet and then in the end of it she got a proposal lol

I'm sorry but I think that is a mahoosive no, no but if you're fine with it...?

I can't change my wedding date as we have booked loads of things such as venue, registrar, photographer etc. and I want it to be next June when it is. Surely if someone should change their date it should be A and B who have Only been engaged a few days?!?

I agree, I would not be impressed if someone proposed during my reception, I think it's a very selfish thing to do. At least you're ok with it though.

Yeah we are not worried. Our wedding will be full of people who love us and have known us since we were born (classmates, family, best childhood friends). We are all a family and they will be soooo happy for us. Our thunder wont be stolen, as that will be at the end(if it happens) plus I know how to keep the attention on me hahahahahaha I will be the one in a wedding dress anyway it wont be hard. And those guests there would never give more attention to anything else! That IF he does it lol. Anyways, the subject is about the OP being concerned about that other wedding that got arranged after hers.....so whats the plan for that???

Personally I wouldn't move it closer because it may create a kind of 'competition' atmosphere...I would just be honest about your concerns and if they say they'd already thought of that but it doesn't bother them then get your save the dates out and hopefully people will have already felt committed to yours by the time their invites go out...as for not affording their wedding I would mention that at this point as well.

Good luck! X

Right....you are absolutely right.....well why don't you have a chat with them about how you feel? Just a nice chat, no need to be horrible. Congratulate them and be happy etc but you could explain how you feel and ask what the plan is as you are worried about your guests with your wedding being after theirs. You might actually have a solution in the end. Also talk to your family and see what they think or what they are planning to do! Keep us updated!

But you were the one who brought up your story!

I like your way of thinking!!!!

Trickers,

The OP made a comment about stealing her sis's thunder, so I used my story as an example because my story is even more of a reason for someone to say they are stealing my thunder. I wanted to make a point that she shouldnt worry!

Apologies, I wont comment further.

Re - The OP, I get your worries about the family not being able to afford to fly over twice so I think you should talk to them.

To be honest, i don't think you're the only one who'll be worrying about the cost of 2 lots of flights. Speak with your family and ask them how they feel about travelling twice within a couple of months! It may be that they'll be able to manage fine, and you've been worrying for nothing! Or It may well come down to the guest's attending one or the other, and hopefully they'll pick yours because you arranged yours first!

As for attending A & B's wedding, the simple fact will be that you can't afford to go, and if they really want you there then they'll just have to change the date to sometime after your day!

I'd advice discussing your concerns with the other couple first not only might the cost be an issue for other family members but also getting time off work for them as well as yourself, We would have arranged our wedding this year but my younger cousin got engaged first and set her date so we left it until next summer 3 months after hers as I didn't want her to see it as stealing her thunder.

Personally I agree with this statement but each to their own, How will you feel that the last thing people remember happening at YOUR wedding is someone else's engagement ???

I would not be happy with this at all, bu hey-ho to each their own.

OP if you are close to your cousin then I am sure having a nice chat about it will put your mind at rest. If they have only been engaged a few days perhaps the date isn't set in stone yet anyway.

Feel your pain, OH's step sister is gettin married, booked a while after us for the weekend before ours! Which means due to traveling eveyone will be skint for ours ! NICE ONE! lol

Speak to her and breath thats got me though

xx

H and i had this problem when we got married in june 2010 , Hs nephew who lives in reading annouced that he was getting married a week before our wedding in kent, we book the wedding 2 years before them so they all had proper notice , Most of Hs family live in Blackpool and we knew full well they wouldnt travel down twice , even the family in reading said they then couldnt make it to our wedding because they will have no money after the first wedding!! H was gutted! He had none of his family at our wedding because they all decided that the nephews wedding was much more important! Not that it matters too much but the nephew didnt even want to get married just done it because him and his partner had a baby they went on to break up 2 weeks later!!