am i being daft?

When we were looking at venues we took FMIL and FFIl (a gesture on my part to keep them involved) with us to look at one that we then shortlisted. My FMIL and her sisters then kept going on about going there for spa weekends and getting to know the staff before the big day and it really upset me to the point I had a full on tantrum at OH. I wasn't really sure why it upset me but think it was because a) we hadn't even decided on it for sure yet and b) I wanted the venue to be special for everyone on the day not somewhere they went all the time. He promptly had words and since we've booked (a different place in the end) no one goes there unless by invitation from us! So no I don't think you're being daft at all, that said there's nothing you can do about it now other than ask that in future they respect your wishes to keep it special for the big day. You can always use it as a tester for service? We've been to or venues a few times to eat and had varying service, everytime we go I report back to my co-ordinator so they can be aware what we expect on the day. Chalk it up to experience and don't tell anyone where your going til after you've been in future would be my advice! good luck finding the perfect venue! Xx

On the one hand I can understand why you're annoyed. On the other hand, you're right at the beginning of your wedding "journey" and they are SO going to wind you up a whole lot more than this! You need to deal with it and let it go, or else this whole planning phase is going to drive you mad!

I think I'm with your mum, I don't really understand what there is to be upset about.

Surely now you can just ask them what they thought and whether the food was nice? It's clearly not just a wedding venue if they went for lunch there. You can't stop people you know from going to places you may possibly get married surely?

Honestly - i don't get what you're upset about!

Why shouldn't she go there? It's an opportunity to check the service is good and they liked it.

MrsMcToBe - are you serious? I'm not sure that makes you look particularly good if i'm perfectly honest. ?

No, the word 'diva' came to my mind...

Have they been there before Jem? If its the first time then I think its bad timing and can understand why your a tad upset. There isn't much you can do about it now though, so all you can do is try to forget it and enjoy yourselves tomorrow. It might turn out handy that they've been as at least you'll have a second opinion (if you're interested in having one of course) Hope you have a nice time tomorrow :-)

I do think you are being a bit daft but it happens to the best of us.

MrsMac2be - thats outrageous! please telling me your tongue is firmly in your cheek.

No never been there before it's not really near us, i dunno think is just because have been looking forward to it for so long (months) and they just rock up day before don't think i would have been bothered any other time but this made me feel a bit undermined.

Yes, sorry - a little daft.

It's a very different thing to go to a venue for lunch than it is going for a wedding. Everything about the wedding will be different so I really think you need to let this one go.

I wouldn't give two hoots in your position.

I actually booked to have father's day lunch at the venue before the wedding to test the service and food and that did not detract from the day one bit. A lunch and a wedding are completely different. I even went to one venue for two weddings 3 weeks apart (Priston Mill near Bath if anyone's interested) and both weddings were absolutely completely different.

Anyone who thinks that you can keep a venue in bubble wrap is setting themselves up for disappointment, I'm afraid.

Yes, you're being overly sensitive about a non-issue.

We held our reception at a restaurant where we'd had lunch with my grandmother-in-law a couple years prior. It helped us because we knew she could access the venue. It was also where other special dinners/celebrations were held. Our wedding reception was different to any other event held there and was special. It also helped that there had been people who'd been there previously so they could give their opinions.

Yep, little bit drama Queen. I understand you've been building it up for a while in your head but it's probably because they're excited for you, which is so much better than a lot of the responses people on here get from their parents. Try and let it go, enjoy your viewing today

I think your mum is right here, surely you dont expect your guests to avoid visiting any places which you may be considering as a wedding venue? You haven't even see the place yet never mind booked it. I'm getting married in a big city so there are lots of wedding venues, but if I was getting married in my home town there are literally 2 or 3 nice hotels and expecting none of the guests to have really been to them before would be crazy. Even so, if someone visited my venue I wouldn't give a toss, they offer guided tours there!

MrsMac2b - that's insane!