Am I being over sensitive?

No, I don't think you are being over senstive at all. I felt like this with my family, but I spoke to my Mum and sister and they said that didn't realise I felt like that. They hadn't meant to be like that but it was just hard for them to get over excited about an event so far in the future. Now we're nearer to the day they are getting as excited as me. Do you think this could be part of it?

I was all geared up for this being a bridezilla post but in all honesty I'd be heartbroken if my dad had said that about my wedding.

If you and your OH are paying for the wedding and all they really have to do is turn up and enjoy it, I really don't understand why they can't be happy for you.

I'm sorry that's the reaction you've had from your family. Perhaps you should do what the other poster did and talk to your family about how their reaction is making you feel. Tell them it's important to you to have their support and ask them to stop making comments about not being bothered. x

I would be heartbroken if my dad said that to me - you're not being over sensitive at all!

Maybe he's not excited because it's so far in advance. When I got engaged my mum wasn't that excited because we had over a year until the wedding. Parents seem to think you only need 2 months to plan a wedding!

This! There have been plenty, especially regarding people's friends not being as excited as them. Friends is one thing, but I would expect my family to at least show a little enthusiasm. Not wittering on about it 24/7 obviously, but no-one should ever be telling you to just do it abroad because they don't care about it. I would've been tempted to say 'Fine, if you're not bothered, you're not invited!'

I can only suggest sitting down with them, maybe your mum if your dad is anti-wedding, and just explain how you feel. Obviously, you know it's a long time away, but they're your parents and you should be able to be excited about it to them. I never shut up about mine and I'm 2014.

Hope things get better for you.

I really feel for you and I'd be really upset if I was in your situation.

I agree that you should try and speak to your parents and let them know how you are feeling.

This exactly. I'm sorry they're not being more supportive. I think you need to talk to them about it and ask them what's changed. Is this out of character for them? Could they feel a bit left out of the planning?

I agree with Dizzybelle, my parents where not that intrested in talking about the wedding, now with 5 weeks to go I cant seem to get them to shut up with the questions ?!! Took the dog for a walk with them yesterday and we spent the whole time talking about the wedding! You will find it alot over the next year and you become almost hardened to it, my biggest problem now is that I have a tendency to just going off and do stuff by myself as that is what I have got used to doing and keep getting in trouble for not including people!

Just take it all with a pinch of salt and use hitched as your sounding board thats what it is here for!

EWKS.

Do you think it might be because the wedding is still quite far off? My PIL didn't start to get excited until much closer to the date.

I'm so sorry you feel like this - it is horrible isn't. I have to say my Mum was (and still is to some extent) like this. I did have a word with her and asked why she wasn't being "a typical excited mum" when it came to the wedding and she said it was because it was so far away - not getting married until June 2014. She is getting more excited and is def interested in what I plan now and I am sure your parents will be the same. Try and not let it upset you - easier said than done I know. You will have an amazing day and all your friends and family will be so happy to be there and share the day with you, as your parents will be so proud.

Ahh sounds like bliss to me, I booked and have organised nearly all the wedding before I even told mine I was getting hitched.

just concentrate on what you and OH want there are many people that would love to swap this situation for their meddling moaning parents any day... I'm sure they will come round in time...my mother says she not coming to mine but I couldn't care less my days not about her she will probably change her mind but I won't pander to her.

just ensure you and OH are happy it's your day don't worry about anyone else!

It's really unfair that your parents are putting their ideas onto what you should do. You and your OH have made your decision, so stick with it. Choose the things you want for your day and don't feel any guilt (easier said than done I know). Hopefully they will come round like others have said when it gets closer, but it might help if you have a discussion about their actions and the impact in you. They probably don't even realise how upset you are. It will be ok, you and your guests will have a fantastic day.

Also, know what you mean about Sandhole Oak Barn..... we loved it but really not prepared to pay £5,000 just for a room!

Good luck,

LW x

This made me really sad to read. It's soul destroying to hear that the people you love would rather you didn't do it, or did it "abroad".

One of the main factors for getting married locally in uk is my grandparents, they let slip the other day that they're not that bothered and think I should go away so as not to cause any upset (lots of fallings out in the family). My mum's reaction when I came home from holiday engaged was happy then straight to "I wish you'd have just came home married, that's what I thought you would do."

I don't think you're being over sensitive and think previous posters' advice of talking to those concerned is the right way to go.

Hey!

It's almost as if you've re-written our story minus a couple of things. We were going to get married abroad as I thought it'd be so much easier, and believe me, it would've been - but for the sake of our families we've since changed our minds and our getting married at home. We've only literally just found our venue, and have booke the day for 17th May 2014. My parents aren't actually bothered. They say they are, but it's quite clear they aren't. My mum especially - she's laughed at every decision we have made. She laughed hysterically at the invitations, and then got really rude about the suits (even though at the end of the day, our choices were exactly the same!) She feels quite comfortable telling the world that weddings should be the same price they were 40 years ago, and most probably still are (obviously this isn't the fact!!) It feels as though every step forward is a battle whilst climbing a mountain. However - my fiance's parents are the complete opposite. They take as much time as we need to sit down with us and go over figures and everything else we want to talk over. They couldn't be more supportive.

People have been telling me the same fact since the beginning, and to be honest, i've only started to believe it in the past couple of months.

It's YOUR wedding - so do as you want!

x

I don't think you're being over-sensitive at all. As others have said hopefully it is just because it seems so far away. My dad was fairly indifferent to it all at first but now with three months to go he's constantly asking me questions about it.

I know you have lots of time but maybe your mum will get more involved once you start looking at dresses etc. Do you have any close friends or Aunts who are more enthusiastic about these things?

I would be upset if my Dad reacted like that too. As you are paying for it yourself have the wedding you both want and I have a feeling he will come round the closer it gets too it. Is there a chance he feels he should have to pay towards it so thats why he is steering you towards a small low key affair?

I don't think you are being over sensitive at all.

My parents have commented on how much we are spending, (I think they felt I was going over board) but i think it is due to them not having a clue about how much it costs to have a wedding, after all the last one they arranged was their own which as over 40 years ago so I try not to mention it now.

Thank you all so much for your opinions I feel so much better now!! I'm so glad I'm not the only one, I'm going to have a word with them over the weekend and tell them how I'm feeling, it's so nice to know I'm not the only one in this situation, my MOH is supportive and excited about things and can't wait to start going to wedding fairs so at least I have her :-). It's so good to have hitched to be able to ask this sort of stuff without feeling judged! xx

This sounded exactly like my mum about 5 months ago. We got engaged in March and the wedding is next year in November. I was quite hurt by her initial reaction (sounds very similar to your mum's), but as time has worn on, she's getting more enthusiastic.

Ultimately, I think that because my mum organised her wedding in 4 months, I shouldn't be worrying about it until next summer. I have reminded her of the 35 year gap separating my parents' marriage and ours'.

I hope you manage to sort it out OP - I'm sure your Dad probably meant nothing by the comment - my Dad regularly says things without thinking.

I can understand how you are feeling - I'm in a similar situation myself. You are not alone and definitely not being over sensitive!

My mum has very little interest in my wedding. We're in a mixed race relationship and although she doesn't object to our marriage, she finds it difficult to accept it. She also thinks my H2B is not good enough for me just because he's not a university graduate and doesn't have a defined and well paid career. As I said she doesn't object to it but every now and again, she'll take me aside and have a 'are you sure you are doing the right thing?' talk with me. This really upsets me and make me doubt my decision but I always ask myself that if I don't go through with the wedding, would it be because of my mum or H2B. The answer is my mum. I now try to remind myself that the wedding is all about me and my H2B so I will not let her get to me. On the contrary, my future in laws are very excited about the wedding.

Keep your chin up and remember the wedding is all about you and H2B. Hopefully, over time your family will start taking an interest.

I've actually been to view Sandhole Oak Barn, it's beautiful!! I didn't end up booking with them because I felt that I got a better deal with another similar country barn venue but let me know if you are interested in Sandhole. I can give you information on what I'm getting at my venue that may help you negotiate with Sandhole Oak Barn. I'm not sure how willing they are to negotiate but I personally would have tried to cut their corkage fee as well as the hire cost.

Hope everything works out for you xx