Am I being unreasonable?

NO

Definitely not!

Why does your OH want to invite them?

They don't sound very friendly, but they did invite you to theirs and you would still have to see them through mutual friends, so I think maybe you should. But only because you would be giving them quite a strong 'we don't like you' message if you didn't invite them, which could make things very awkward when you have to spend time with them in the future. I wonder whether you could compromise by inviting them to the evening reception rather than the whole day?

No I think that is very rude !

Big fat NO!!

She is very rude isn't she.....why dous h2b want to invite them?

I don't agree with sapphire who cares that they invited you, after her being so rude i wouldn't care if it gave the message out that you didn't like her, i certainly wouldn't want her at my wedding.

They are really part of a group of friends we know through others, therefore wouldnt really go out with just them. If we did invite them, we'd really need to invite the entire other 6 in that group as know them equally. The others we dont hear from either, except through these mutual friends.

As its a small wedding (60) adding an extra 6-8 people would add to the costing and just feels its unreasonable when we never hear from these people, only see them at mutual friends things.

OH cant understand why I feel a bit let down by them as he thinks its just me being unreasonable.

I wish some of our "sorry can't come" had sent some money in their responses...

No, not as you hardly ever see them and they don't make much effort.

No! they sound not worth worryng about!

Thanks everyone. I didnt think I was being unreasonable. OH comes from family thay arent organised, dont send thank yous & really dont keep in touch much. I am opposite & felt rather hurt that she didnt even send a quick email aknowledging the money! OH has a laugh with these people when we meet up, but doenst see it as a problem that we dont speak every month or even every year to them.

No! How rude of her, I bet she didn't forget to spend the money though!!

No, i wouldn't invite them either. I was brought up to thank people for even just a card, so i do tend to call, text or email people to check they've received money or gifts as i do believe it's completely rude to not acknowledge it. We're getting married on 16th April and put an rsvp by date of 28th feb on our invites, we've had a hanfdul of declines, a friend has said she is sending card/vouchers on at some point and we've received 2 cheques from 2 of the declines - to which we've sent a thank you card back to them the following day to thank them (and have also said we'll try to get a couple of pics to them after the wedding). These cheques were for £15 and £20, so a lot less than you gave them as a gift, but we've so appreciated the gesture from our family/friends that they could've sent us 50p and we'd have still thanked them!!

If you regularly saw them and it had come across that the hadn't thanked you due to an oversight on their part, then i'd consider inviting them to the evening do, but if you havn't had contact other than you've mentioned then i wouldn't waste your time & money worrying about them.

Sorry can't help but say not phoning/texting/emailing/writing/even saying in person next time you see them to say thankyou is rude for any amount of money or gift

Does OH think they all the group should be invited or just the one couple? You could go down the budget route with OH and say thet can't afford all the couples?

x

OH is happy with whatever I want re inviting them. He just thought I made a big deal out of not hearing a thing from them and cant understand why I mention it whenever their names come up in conversation.

It would be very obvious if we invited the other 6 in that group and not those 2 people. However, as it is a small wedding, we could just not invite the whole group and OH doenst mind too much. We could afford to include them, it just on principal I dont want to be wasting my money on them any more than I have.

Urgh how rude that they didn't thank you!!

I vote that they do NOT get an invite! (or invite them, hope they say no, and enclose a £100 gift in the RSVP!! ? )

I am with the no don't invite them. There is nothing wrong with politness and she could easily of acknowledged the money you sent her. Tell other half tough, no invite for them.

In a word - No I wouldn't invite them.

No i wouldn't invite them! £100 is a large gift especially as you couldnt go to wedding - i think that not thanking you is very rude!

It was actually a little less than £100, but in Aussie dollars. In hindsight its more than I should have sent. We had said we would go to their wedding, but due to OH's work, didnt go and only have them 2-3 weeks notice. Guess I was feeling guilty for giving them short notice, hence sent more than I should have.

We live and learn!

I think, from this, that you know what you want to do.

Personally I don't feel you are being unreasonable... they should have thanked you for your very generous present, and even if they are a bit 'scatty', then she should have been even more effusive when she saw you in person and it was pointed out to her that she hadn't! But maybe, to keep the peace with your OH, you should stop mentioning it every time their names come up in conversation. It has been a while now, you really don't need to do that and I can understand why that might come across as you making too big a deal of it (in your OH's eyes)

Quite apart from not acknowledging your gift, it really doesn't sound like you're all that close. As you're only having a small wedding then why invite anyone who isn't your nearest and dearest

Were you invited to their wedding all day?

Maybe she's harboured some resentment towards you for pulling out so near to their big day, especially as we know that guests pulling out that close to our day would still incur us being charged for their places.

Still doesn't make up for them not thanking you though.