Am I being unreasonable?

I dont think you are being unreasonable,

have you already booked the cars? maybe you could find an alternative to a car, a horse and cart maybe?

xx

I think a little bit yes - as a person who also suffers from car sickness I know how it can last for hours and makes you feel really unwell. TBH it's only a car journey - you are going to be spending the rest of your lives together

But I also understand where you are coming from - so as it's been suggested, maybe you could change the transport?

Not booked yet no, this issue arose from the discussion about booking them.

we are on really tight budget, so horse and cart would be too expensive

I get travel sickness myself, so will be taking tablets to stop it from ruining my journey

just upset he wont give me 15mins of his time

I would agree with you I'm afraid... I would just get a taxi as it seems pointless to get an expensive car and not sit together...

Not unreasonable in my opinion - I get travel sick on even short journeys but on my wedding day I'm just going to suck it up.

If it's only 15 minutes then some tablets, not looking down / keeping his focus out front and a cracked window might do the trick. I read on a different thread, someone would like to hire a classic car for her H2B to drive them to the reception. Would this be an option?

I don't think you are over reacting at all.

spenerella x

You're not being unreasonable, really, you're not. It's the first time you're together since you officially got married so it's only normal that you'd want you both to sit together.

Can u suggest he go to his doc and get something to sort it?!

I see where your coming from, you have just got married and its your first bit of 'alone time' with him, prehaps you could take some time before the journey to have some time alone if your getting married in a church then walk around the grounds and have 5 mins together before getting in the car?

We are getting married on the same day! :-)

How long is the car journey? I get very very very travel sick but I'm usually OK for about 10 - 15 mins in the back, especially with the window open and with some mints and non-swishy driving! I'll be just bracing myself for it on the day as I shall want to sit with my Dad on way there and OH on the way back.

He does seem to be making quite a big issue of this. Is he making a fuss for some other reason? Does he not like the car or something? Did he choose them?

xxx

I get terrible car sick, And will likely drive myself too and from the venue to ensure I don't feel yak!
I can understand you wanting him to travel with you, but i also think you should understand he feels safer in the front.

x

I understand why you want to sit with your OH but I do think its a bit unreasonable to be upset with him. Thats my own personal view only though.

I would never want to make my OH feel ill, even if it was just for 15 minutes.

What good is it him being sat next to you if he feels so unwell he can't even enjoy your company?

At least in the front you can still have a conversation with him on the way.

I don't personally think its the end of the world.

Hope you get things sorted x

I'm sorry to say I think you are a bit.

If he gets car-sick then I doubt he'll want to feel that way on his wedding day.

He could try taking tablets and looking out the front window but I think if you push the idea too much he'll completely shut off.

We still havent chosen a car. dont know what to do for best

he cant drive so sadly thats not an option

hes said no to horse and cart suggestion

i know in reality its a drop of water in the ocean but you know how weddings get you!

x

How about looking for an old fashioned open car? he should be ok in that, i hate travelling in the back of a car but in an open car i think i would be ok xx

Agree 100%.

I get car sick a lot and i have a friend that's much worse. Its doesn't go away as soon as the car stops, it lingers for all day. I hate to be blunt, but i think him having a good day and enjoying his wedding is more important than a car.

SO what does he want to happen... him sit in the front passenger seat and you sit in the back?

If it stops him feeling ill, is it really such a big deal? you can still talk to each other, he can still reach his hand back to hold yours... and if it means he can enjoy the rest of his day feeling fine, then I dont think it is a big issue.

I understand why you would like him to sit next to you, really I do, but in the general scheme of things, I dont think it is a reason to have a row about it.

xx

Hmm, normally when someone asks if they are being unreasonable, it's because they are. However, I'm actually inclined to think you're not. I do think it will look very odd you getting in the back and him in the front, almost as if it's a case of "there, wifey, you know your place". If I were a guest I would think it strange. I also find it hard to believe that he never has, and never will sit in the back of a car. What if your parents were giving you a lift somewhere? Would he really make your Mum sit in the back if your Dad were driving?

I think he should get some tablets if he's really that bad, but the love and excitement should be enough to take his mind off it. I get travel sick on longer journeys but simple tablets from Boots sort me out.

Other options are that you drive him in a little 2 seater (think of the royal wedding, it looked very cute) or you get a car where you can both sit up front.

That's such a good idea! I would absolutely do this if it was me.

Hadn't thought of the me driving scenario. need to see if it is possible in my dress, would defo give some quirky photos! Would need to find somewhere that just hires cars without chauffeurs, and then maybe just me and dad get a taxi to the church?

I don't like to think I'm being a bridezilla, mum suggested he gets in back, then round the corner he swaps to front, thats what marrige is about, comprimising!

thanks for everyones points of view and suggestions, very much appreciated xx

That seems really extreme to me. Do you really think your wedding guests are going to judge the pair of you because he sits in the front and you in the back?

Will they not know he has travel sickness?

I echo what I said before, even if it was to save other people thinking we were 'odd', I would not make my OH suffer.

He is my number one priority, no-one else.

Unless you have any friends/family that have a cute little car you could borrow for this? the insurance for the day may end up being cheaper than the cost of hiring a car? x

I would think, if you can't do the you-drive -im scenario, unless you are driving for miles, he should just suck it up and just sit in the back. I know that sounds harsh, but it is your wedding day and I would think it a bit odd if I saw the groom in the front and his missus in the back and off they go like that. I don't suffer from travel or motion sickness myself but OH does so I do have some sympathy for your OH, but also I can't help rolling my eyes a bit at the melodrama. How bad can it really be? It's not like the car is going to be doing laps at high speeds! I am thinking a 10-15 minute gentle drive from church to another venue, taking it gently, and surely he will be so over the moon looking at his new wife he won't even notice feeling a bit iffy.

*prepares to be flamed by millions of angry travel sickness sufferers*

ha I'm with this. i think I would feel the same. Can't you take tablets for that? I'm one of these people who never ever gets sick, from anything (save severe food poisoning), so I can be flamed along with PB

I can understand where you're coming from- we always have an idea on how we want things on the day,but I'll bet everyone here has had to make last minute changes to their plans for various reasons. I get travelsickness if I sit at the back,although I can usually manage short journeys -I think if he is that worried about this,even though the journey is only 15 minutes, he must get pretty bad and the problem is once that feeling sets in,the only thing to make you feel better is to throw up. He must be panicking and thinking of the worst case scenario... I would get him to take a travel sickness pill 30 mins beforehand and let him see how he feels-he may decide to sit with you after all x

I get really sick in the back of cars and in the past the tablets have actually made me throw up almost straight away plus it's not a good idea to take them with alcohol. My Nan also gets severely carsick as she has a condition that effects the inner ear but even she can do short journeys. For me it depends on the journey, straight roads like motorways are much better than twisty country lanes. It is a really horrible feeling but I also understand that it wouldn't be nice to sit apart when it's one of the few bits of time you'll spend just the two of you.

I know it may sound ridiculous but maybe you and he should get someone to play chauffeur and try a couple of test runs because it's likely he's worried about it when in reality it would be fine. I would put it to him that you just want him to give it a go and if it makes him feel sick then on the day he can sit in the front. Also if on the day he sits in the back with you then if he does start to feel the 'swirly head' feeling that is the very start of sickness then he can just move to the front.

It's hard to explain travel sickness. My auntie always said it was in my head (and then on her dashboard) technically she's right. It's a balance problem in the inner ear, it can cause also 3d sickness (which I also have). It's not like stomach flu or a boozy night out. It's an awful sinking feeling in the gut, it lingers and won't stop, you loose your appetite and feel like your walking on water.

Or Dad drives you to the church in funky little car, then hands you the keys to drive to the reception. Dad can get a lift there with anyone, I'd have thought. Means putting both of you on the insurance and hire, but shouldn't be a problem.

Dad doesn't want to drive

Tbh I'd think your dad is being more unreasonable than OH. Your OH gets sick and it is his wedding. Maybe continue to explore with dad? Say it gives you some time just the 2 of you? x

Get something with a three seats the front?

honda frv have three seats in the front tho I don't think they are common.

Quick google, http://www.aceweddingcarhire.co.uk/our-vehicles.html the first car has a bench seat up front...not to eveyones taste though more googling may turn up some other options.

or a mini bus or camper?