Am I being unreasonable?

Personally I kind of think it was a bit odd for you to ask her to be your BM if you and her really don't get on in the first place. However I think your OHs childish 'fine, do it all yourself' reaction is out of order, and I can completely understand you not wanting someone you don't really like singing you down the aisle.

Could you say that you really want her to sing at the wedding but it would be such a shame if she sang whilst you were walking down the aisle as nobody would be paying any attention to her singing as they will be busy looking at you. Suggest that if she sings during the signing of the register or at some other stage it will be much more of a focal point and people will actually be able to appreciate and listen to her rather than be distracted.

It's a little bit sneaky, and not what I would chose to do, but if you aren't comfortable with simply putting your foot down and standing firm it could be a viable option.

Good luck

She's his sister.... Only reason why she is bridesmaid! I've not done it for me... More the fact he would have liked her to be part of the wedding party. Not many people will understand but her being bridesmaid is not the issue!

ive already said she can sing and I had no problem with that at all... I'm just shocked at this new suggestion and totally against it!

I don't care what part of service! Just not while I walk in!

I wouldn't want anyone walking down the aisle behind me singing even if it was someone I liked. It's not unreasonable at all to me.

It just occured to me, have you actually even spoken to her about this? She might not even want to sing whilst you walk down the aisle, or have a problem with you at all.

It's probably best to talk to her directly rather than things getting lost in translation between you, your OH and her.

Horrendous idea, I can't imagine anything cringier. You are not being unreasonable!

Haha!! What Peanut said ^^

That would get a no from me also, even if I liked the person. Dreadful thought!

However, perhaps if it was a bit of a blunt no, maybe that it's what's peed him off. Maybe if you had have pretended to have consider the idea for a few seconds, then said no and explained why, he would've accepted it better

Personally, That would get a no from me also. Agree with "Cat In A Teacup"!

Where on earth did he get that idea from? If you have other bridesmaids maybe you could suggest they can dance and clap and maybe do some cartwheels down the aisle too. If he likes that idea too then youare really in trouble.

Its a horrible idea! But that aside, and wedding and a marriage is meant to be a partnership, you are both meant to agree on it. If he took that attitude simply because you disagree with his idea I don't think you are being out of order at all. It's not like you said she couldn't sing, just not then. I went to a wedding once where one of the guests sang a song rather than doing a reading, maybe suggest that because then all eyes would be on her for her song rather than on you

That sounds like an awful idea and definitely not bridezilla - as others have said I wouldn't want anyone to walk behind me singing even if I did like them!!!

I just spat out my coffee laughing .... I thought I knew where you were going with this then I "singing down the aisle behind me" WTF? !! you are not being a bridezilla at all! that's the dumbest idea I've ever heard!!! I do get why she's a bridesmaid - you explained that well and I think you are being reasonable and not even expecting anything of her but to turn up in a dress and look pretty .... hopefully if you speak to her she will tell your OH that it's a stupid idea too!! bonkers!!

Not unreasonable at all, I think that's one of the worst ideas I have ever heard from a wedding forum. The whole world would be cringing for you!!!

I think it's cringeworthy to the extreme and practically daft (singing while walking does not make for the smoothest vocals).

No not unreasonable at all - absolutely cringeworthy!

I'm hoping to have my young cousin sing and play guitar as I walk down the aisle (if he's ok with the song choice) as I think it will be a nice touch. A bridesmaid singing walking along though? It sounds like one of those 'cringy wedding' things you see on youtube, and I have to say if this happened at a wedding where I was a guest I'd be really struggling to hold in the giggles.

As others have suggested, maybe offer to have her sing whilst you're signing the register, or kill two birds with one stone and say that she can sing as you walk down the aisle if she really wants to, but she'd have to give up her position as bridesmaid to do that.

Definitely put your foot down!!! When you go back with your counter argument, just say something like, "lovely idea but i've always imagined walking down the aisle to xyz etc".

Totally reminded me of something my sister sent me, which made me be a bit ??: http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=WYZZPPNX

Yeah, I'm joining the club to say that it sounds ridiculous. The singer in my brother's band sang and played guitar at the front of the register office as my SIL walked down the aisle and that was lovely...but not walking behind her! There must be a compromise on this. BUT OP, from the fact that you put 'sings' in quotation marks, do I detect that you're not a fan of her singing full stop?...

Ah just let her sing and why not put her in a white dress too for maximum effect!

on a serious note no you are not unreasonable. Put your foot down its one of the worst ideas I've heard on here.

It's the cringiest thing I've heard in a very long time. I agree that if he's so keen to have her sing as you walk in she'd need to be up at the front already, but I would have thought that the best and most obvious time for her to sing would be when you're signing the register. Hopefully your OH will see reason later on. Chances are he was touchy about it because he knows you're not her biggest fan.

Oh dear. I agree, this is definitely one of the worst ideas in the world of wedding planning ever, but I think its an issue thats going to get a lot bigger and worse if you don't come up with a solution!! I think your OH may have a point regarding talking to his sister. Its an impression you have that she doesn't like you, which may be false - ask her!! She may be assuming you don't like her - just a thought ?. if she does like you and you sort that out, you may find she thinks the idea is pretty awful too and then you have backup x

Terrible idea!

Hang on a minute, let her do do it.....make sure you have someone with a video recorder or phone recording her. Easiest £250 ever made once you send it to you've been framed.

seriously though it is a ridiculous idea. But thanks for cheering me up on a down day.

Good luck with it.

? ?

Well this thread has cheered me up on a dull Monday. Sorry to the OP as this is clearly a serious issue for you but walking behind you singing?!! Wtf is your OH on??!!

Now I've stopped laughing so hard, I should offer some constructive advice which would be, if you aren't comfortable speaking directly to the sister on this, to take the tactic that you are worried it will detract from her singing and you would rather her have her moment, stood still so she doesn't have to concentrate on too many things at a point when not much else is going on. Such as the signing or instead of a reading. Then it sounds like you have her best interests at heart.

Yuk. Horrible and cringy. You aren't being unreasonable. I didn't give my husband any chance to choose the music for the entranceof the bride because it's the entrance of the bride. D'uh, anyway quite apart from trying to convince them that she won't be centre of attention if she sings then, have you thought about mentioning that it's the shortest piece of music you need? I had a big wedding, room for 140 guests, so not a short aisle and I only had two verses of Bridge Over Troubled Water. One verse would have covered it, we were stood at the front waiting for half the time. So if she's singing to a backing track, that will need editing down, and if she's being accompanied, they'll need to revise the arrangement and rehearse it with her just for one verse. You need far more music not just for signing the register but for posing for photos with it. Try and sell her on that aspect if you can - getting to perform something right the way through.

I wouldn't want any bridesmaids of mine to sing whilst i/we walk down the aisle either! So, no, you're not being unreasonable.

I think, had you not already asked her to be bridesmaid, then you could've easily just given her the role of singing (later on in the ceremony) without being bridesmaid too. Discuss her singing again with your OH, say it's not going to happen whilst you're walking down the aisle, but you're happy for her to sing at another point in the ceremony - whilst signing the register maybe?

Ha Ha, this made me LOL, a lot. not being unreasonable at all.. I think it would look daft, and its your moment.. X

Bridesmaids go BEFORE the bride not after! Silly man tut tut. Def not unreasonable.

I'd be very against this....its not personal to you, and its your moment.

I can fully understand he wants her involved, but this is not the moment for that, in my opinion..

In the UK, flower girls go before the bride, bridesmaids usually go after, so he's not being totally bonkers bless. In the States the bride comes in last x

Sorry - this should have been a quite to respond to Kate from above.

Dreadful dreadful dreadful idea. And if she even agreed to it she would be a disappointment to her fellow female kind. Why on earth would you want to walk down the aisle behind the bride..singing to your hearts content LITERALLY stealing the brides thunder. Oh no. No no no. He be trippin' .

Can't she just be a normal bridesmaid and know her place?!

A 3 page thread and every single person is in agreement....unless of course lots of other brides are too busy asking their OHs sister to sing them down the aisle to bother replying. Unlikely tho.