Am I the only one that feels physically sick most the time?

Aww, poor you, what a horrid mixture of feelings you are having.

I don't know how you feel about such things, but I would really really suggest you consider a session or two with a hypnotherapist. An hour with a good one would have an excellent chance of kicking all that in to touch, and letting you enjoy your day, and the run up to it, a lot more.

But, rest assured, you are definitely not weird x

NO! I feel the same way...which i feel is completely odd as noone else seems to feel like this. And i am outgoing too! I dont have an issue with my H2B but i find the whole going down the aisle/people looking/photos taking quite scary.

I didn't think i would feel like this at all, i work in events and love planning things! My H2B says he 'can't wait' and thinks it will be awesome but i just feel terrified!

We can be scared together! ?

Thanks Kimiu - thats very reassuring! ?

To be honest I think I am too much of a wuss to go and see a hypnotherapist... I may look into it though so thanks for mentioning, I think its because I was bought up thinking that its not good to 'play' with your mind.. although I studied Psychology at school and so I know it all makes sense in reality to tap into your subconcious.

I know I just sound like a wuss completely and I am usually quite brave.. hehe.. its just public speaking or anything being on 'stage'... I just cannot do without panicking.. & at your own wedding you kind of are on stage all day in a weird way...☹️

Its weird isnt it? I work in recruitment so deal with people all the time and I am known for being outgoing and loud and the life and soul of the party and the crazy one.. but thats when noone is paying attention to me.. if I am the centre of attention and have to be on best behaviour all day Its not my forte. I am usually the wild one running around with no shoes on doing acrobatics outside on the lawn... not the prim and proper centre of attention person....

I also love planning things... and I think its starting to dawn on me this is MY wedding -- I wish I could just be a guest as I know it will be a great day?

I am excited to be married and to get back to the hotel and go on honeymoon. I just feel nervous and overwhelmed I guess. I want to hide!!! ️?️

ahhhhhhhhhhhh so glad I have someone to be scared with!!?

& Yes my other half cant wait too.. but then he LOVES being the centre of attention and he just flits about all the time talking to people! ?

Aww hun - sounds awful. I am still at that 'not quite sure this is really happening' stage but I also hate being the centre of attention. (Fancy dress?? NO THANKS! Karaoke - HELL NO! even so much as going bowling where everyone can see how terrible I am is a big NO NO!) But I am trying to put it out of my head for now - ill worry about it nearer the time.

My sister saw a hypnotherapist to stop her from crying too much that she couldn't say her vows (crying is an issue for her - once she starts she cant stop lol) and she managed to hold it down to just the usual level of crying at the speeches etc for the day. It was £60 and helped her massively. She says she is going to get it again for my wedding as she will feel emotional there too lol. Bless her!

If you don't want to see a hypnotherapist, why not try some NLP techniques. You remain completely conscious and you can just get NLP for Dummies from the library and do the exercises yourself at home if you like. Always more effective to have someone who is expert helping you, of course, but if you are more relaxed doing it yourself, reading through before you do the exercise, then you've got nothing to lose by having a go.

I used to teach, and I had no confidence. I would get the same feelings you are describing. So an NLP technique to anchor "calm" in my ring finger was done. When I then stood in front of the class, I would touch that ring finger, twiddle with my ring or whatever and instantly feel calmness flood through my body allowing me to do my job. Anyone who saw what I was doing would probably think I was a nervous fiddler, when in fact it was leading me to be exactly the opposite.

Look up NLP Anchoring techniques and see what you think.

Sorry if i have misunderstood or read this wrong, but it sounds as if you are putting pressure on yourself to be someone your not on your wedding day. If you are loud and out going normally, then be the same person! Ok, cartwheels across the lawn may be a bit much, but you don't have to become totally 'prim and proper' either. Your friends and family know you as you are and will want to see you happy and relaxed, not stressed out by standing on ceremony all day.

I went to a wedding a few weeks ago, the couple were so worried about behaving properly and about what everyone thought that it was like 2 strangers marrying each other.... they didn't even kiss in church when they were announced as husband and wife! Another wedding i went to a few years ago was a very big fancy affair in London, but the bride and groom were so relaxed that there was a lovely atmosphere in church and even some laughter during the vows cos of little things they said. I certainly know which i enjoyed more!

Just think about being yourself, about having fun with your nearest and dearest, and revel in the attention...You might even enjoy it! xx

Not in the slightest you're not....

i have a similar feeling but mine is a bit weird becasue i used to be a singer and i'm used to being the centre of attention on a satge in front of a couple of thousand people, yet i pacnic about being the centre of attention walking down that aisle and whether i should look at people or not.

then my sensible side kicks in and says 'why are you worrying, everyone there knows you, knows what you look like so enjoy it'

Then i go back to panicking again lol

Thank you both for your advice!

I just had a quick read about NLP techniques and it looks very interesting - I am going to get that book when I get paid as I think it would be worth giving it a go so thanks for recommending it?

In a way you are right.. but thats because usually I tend to go too far in some way shape or form.. get too drunk and just jump around all night... which is fine in itself but I usually end up sweating loads, my hairs a mess etc etc.. which is fine if people dont want to talk to me and have photos with me every few minutes & I really dont want sweaty horrendous pictures everywhere ?

Dont get me wrong I will be myself but I wont be able to be my crazy mad self.. plus I love drinking and getting merry as that makes me more confident but I wont be drinking much at all as I want to remember everything & dont want to feel lousy the next day.

I just dont too well in social situations with people I dont know too well and there will be ALOT of people there that I dont really know... so I will feel like I need to make a good impression and keep the banter in check with my OH as some people dont know how to take it.... I guess there is a whole host of things I am not looking forward to but I would say the main thing is the number of people and the people I dont know or have met just once... people that know me well I am excited to spend time with!

Let me know how you get on with the NLP - hope it helps!

Northsouth I know what you mean.. I reason with myself too and then im Fine and then next time I think about it... I feel panicky again!!!

Next year will be a real test for me as so far I have planned a lot of things over email and the phone... I have to meet with the suppliers and get more involved in terms of picking my dress.. hen do etc and even the thought of all those things I find overwhelming to be honest. & I know I should just be excited☹️

Even having a birthday party etc when there are lots of people wanting to talk to me etc I find overwhelming & stressful as I constantly want to make sure everyone is okay and make sure its all going well so I just dont enjoy them (I have only had one!) ...

I wish I could just be married & then enjoy being married without the rest of it all. Again I know I shouldnt feel like that. I just hope that on the day I really enjoy it.?

I have talked to my OH as I think if he sticks with me in the drinks reception but that will keep me calm as there will be two of us with people I dont know (his family) .. but I know what he is like.. so laid back and care free.. he will probably forget my anxiety!!

It's like I wrote this post myself!!!! I'm soooo excited about becoming Mrs Bazley but the thought of walking down the aisle physically makes my stomach churn!!! Luckily we're keeping the numbers low so I keeptelling myself that when I do make the walk it will in front of my very nearest and dearest so no pressure!!! You've got to enjoy your day, everyone is there to celebrate with you. Deep breaths hun xx

P.s - this is coming from someone who NEVER dreampt of their wedding or can imagine their big day and I have to say I'm loving the planning of it now!!!! It's taken 4 years for my fiancée to convince me to have a "traditional" wedding, I would have preferred to hide away! I think when I found the venue it just seemed right to have the whole shebang!! ;-) xx

I can empathise with this too. We have a tiny wedding with only 12 guests (although two of them are H2B's aunt and uncle who I haven't yet met) but I've still spent the past six months or so working myself into a state about my appearance and panicking that I won't look good enough and I'll spend the entire day worrying about my hair/makeup/whatever. I am trying some calming exercises to help and using a Bach flower remedy which I think helps a bit (maybe it's just psychological, but it costs like £4 so I'm fine with that). I don't really have any other advice, but just know you're not the only one!

Thank you Ladies I appreciate the words of reassurance?

I wish I had said I wanted a smaller wedding initially but the truth is I put my OH's happiness before mine most the time and when it was booked 18 months ago I think I just thought itll be fine... BUt as time draws closer I am panicking slightly. I guess I just need to try and stay calm and not worry... I just hope this anxiety doesnt get worse as the time gets closer and I will be trying everything you have all suggested...

I guess I just feel a little sad as well that I am not excited like most people... :-(

Im excited to BE married ... start our married lives and go on honeymoon... just not all the fuss in the day.. sounds awful I know!?

I'm exactly the same. I'm quite an anxious person and worry about every single little thing, and then often create situations in my head that are completely ridiculous and worry about that too. I personally haven't found a way to control it. I came off all my birth control which helped a little, but not a lot. I find that typing out how I feel calms me down a little, it helps me to get all my thoughts quickly by bashing the keyboard. I hope it all works out for you. x