And so the problems start!!

Hi

If the Nan and her Manfriend have been together since before June 2007 I can see why she would want him there as it sounds serious and long term to me. But of course it's entirely up to you. I he close to his Nan?

You stick to your guns, and don't worry you have every reason to rant! Things will always get tricky with the guest list and it is annoying that they feel the need to phone you, but just rememebr, it's about your relationship with your guests. Be happy to please yourself - it's your day and an invitation is a privilege and not a right.

They met just before the BM's wedding. When we met him neither or us particularly liked him and the whole family think he's only with her for her money. It's just that everybody else says stuff behind their backs and is nice to his face. OH isn't that close to his Nan, she's quite hard to get close to!! She lives in our town but we don't see her that much.

I think you should definately sick to your guns, it's your wedding - invite whoever you want.

As for your IL's2B, I think it's just plain disgusting that they rang you just to tell you that....what exactly did they think it would achieve?! It's almost like they thought you would un-invite the uncle, & therefore have a space free for OH's nan's boyfriend - totally messed up!?

Oh dear, i can completely sympathise with the IL invite problems!!!

In our case OH sister is getting married in 2 months and has had so many problems with their parents and invites, resulting in big arguments and it's leaving a huge cloud over the day which i think is a shame. We've learnt from this and when we got engaged the same issues started to come up. OH put his foot down and said we would be inviting who we wanted (no one imporant has been left off) and we just weren't prepared to have conversations about our invite list with them. It seems to have worked and they've backed off!!

Stick to your guns and try not to get into long discussions with them about it (thats where OHs sister went wrong), tell them you've made your decision and thats the end of it.

This would be my point of view too - they have been together around 2 years so personally I would invite him, although it is a tricky one if your OH isn't even that close to her, and has hardly even met him. That would be my personal decision, but if you are adamant you don't want him there, don't invite him - the only thing is though I would say be careful about the possibility of a bit of a fall-out if the Nan refuses to go without him, then your MIL2B gets upset, and so on. But as you said, it's your day, you're inviting the people you want to, and if you're prepared to stick to your guns then go for it!

Regarding the uncle issue, it does sound as if they're stirring it - almost seems like they're trying to hint reasons why you shouldn't invite him but should invite Nan's partner instead. I would just ignore that if you can.