Any body else not having bridesmaids?

You're not the only one. I'm just having my H2B's 11 year old twins as flowergirls/bridesmaids. To Be honest I didn't feel that I have any friends that I was close enough to to ask them to be my bridesmaids either. Due to health problems the majority of my friends drifted away to only occasional contact so that somebody who 15 years ago would have been my first choice of bridesmaid will now only be invited to the evening reception. I did wonder what people might think initially but then decided it was my day and it doesn't matter what others think I wasn't going to ask somebody who is more an acquaintance than a true friend just so I could say i had a bridesmaid.

Tell them it's none of their business! I'm not having any but I'm not having any because I don't believe it's a particularly enjoyable experience after being one myself and I don't want to inflict that pain on to someone else! It took up a lot of my precious free time and I just found it a hassle so in my opinion you're saving someone a lot of pain by not asking them to do it :-)

I wish I wasn't having bridesmaids, it's worked out that I've bought lots of stuff and for various reasons they haven't been able to help me with very much with the wedding due to things in their lives, which of course take precedent over my wedding (not sarcastic there, they do, it's not all about my day to everyone else), not to mention that the dresses have been a nightmare. I've now bought two lots, they don't really like the second dress and my breastfeeding BM keeps saying she'll have to get naked to feed her baby which is a ridiculous statement as all she has to do is unzip the back and take one side of her dress down, but I feel really bad about it. My budget was limited, I got nice dresses for £29 each. It was all I could afford, seriously don't give yourself the hassle!

I don't have bridesmaids either. Mostly because all my close friends live abroad and to be honest because I don't have the budget to afford any bridesmaids and I don't think it's something you have to have.

Also when I read all the nightmare stories about BM's I'm pretty happy with my decision. No worries about finding a dress which all of them like and whatever else comes with it. I only have a Matron of Honour who is also my witness and that's it.

I wouldn't worry what other people say about your decision not to have bridesmaids. It's your day and if/when they get married they can have as many bridesmaids as they want.

If you really want your SIL's to be bridesmaids then ask them. I think it's still enough time and they don't necessarily have to help you organise the wedding in my opinion. My matron of honour did nothing apart from my hen weekend and come to my dress fittings. Not because she didn't want to do anything but because I already had most things in place when I asked her.

I personally don't think bridesmaids are necessary. It's nice to have some if you have enough close friends around and if you can afford it. If not then not.

Enjoy the rest of your engagement,

Sandra

I'm not having bridesmaids, flower girls or page boys...I don't have any little ones around and I've not got any very close female friends to ask I am however having my SIL to be as my maid of honour I'm not asking her to do anything other than to join me on the day to get ready together and to help to get my dress in place before I walk in. She can wear whatever style she feels good in and the only stipulation I have is that it fits in with the colour scheme which I chose with her colouring as a factor so that's not an issue.

Its been great fun so far as we've been to wedding fayres and dress shopping with absolutely no pressure and I know that should I need help later she'll be there as I've not pestered her in the run up.

Do your wedding your way and enjoy every moment xx

We are just keeping it as family for bridal and grooms party, his (well ours) two nieces are bridesmaids, my god-daughter will be my flowergirl (who is also my cousins daughter). That way none of my friends can fall out over who will be maid of honour cos im not having one. My cousin is best man, my oldest son and the younger one are also groomsman and my youngest son is page boy. I don't have any really close friends either, kind of drifted apart but still socialise sometimes so i don't see any point in asking them to be bridesmaids.

Like quite a few other brides it seems, I’m just having a maid of honour. I asked my sister as soon as we’d set a date (we had a long engagement where we did zero planning) and she accepted. She did assume that I’d have other bridesmaids but I quickly set her straight. Part of the reason for this, is that I didn’t want to ask people just because it’s the done thing, but it’s also blooming expensive! We said that we would pay for accomodation for best man and my maid of honour (and as it goes, all of the parents too!) as a wedding present. If I had do that for any more people, I would have spend a small fortune just on rooms. Then, of course, there is the hair and makeup and the dress (again I’ve not asked for a contribution for any of the above). I wasn’t planning on getting her a gift (as I feel the room was more than generous at £150 for the night) but have ended up buying a personalised mug so she has something to keep.

Anyways, my point is that having bridesmaids can be very costly, so don’t ask someone just for the sake of it. Enjoy spending the extra money on something you and your H2B will enjoy! And just get a small thank you gift for your SILs to show that you appreciate their support.

It's also costly being a bridesmaid by the time you add up the travelling and accommodation. I very much resented being a bridesmaid and I always wonder if at least one bridesmaid feels the same way when a bride has more than one!

No bridesmaids for me, just having my little girl wear a pretty dress. I decided I wanted my friends to be chilled out in their own outfits rather than worrying about being bridesmaids.

We gave decided not to have any bridesmaids, best man or groomsmen. Neither of us have anyone we are really close to so it was far easier not to. Plus we have saved a lot of money?!

My nephew and niece will only be 4 & 2 so they are page boy and flower girl

I have a friend who just had one little girl as a flower girl and no bridesmaids - and also, now I think of it, when I was a kid I was flower girl at about 3 of my aunts' weddings and none of them had adult bridesmaids.

I think it's perfectly fine - 2 of the people I know did it because they didn't have one particular friend they were close to and the other two did it because they had a big group of about 6 friends they were super close to and thought 6 was too many but they couldn't cut anyone out so went with none. It's absolutely fine.

Hi,

I have seen lots of wedding in England without braids-maids. In this forum itself I saw one post saying that a woman didn't want to have braids-maids even some of her friends expressed interest. For that post also many members here told that not having braids-maids is ok. I am a wedding planner in Chennai and I coordinated lots of ethnic wedding in England and some of them didn't have braids-maids.

So, don't worry about your decision. I don't know why people behave that way when you said you don't have a braids-maid; probably they are wondering why.

It's entirely your decision, if you don't want bridesmaids, don't have them, and stuff anyone who judges your decision.

If, however, you feel that you would now like to have your SIL's as bridesmaids now, but feel it might seem like an afterthought, why not sit them down and say you weren't planning on having bridesmaids at all, but you really appreciate the effort they've put into your hen do, and would like them to be your bridesmaids as a thank you? It doesn't have to be a big thing, let them get their own dresses that they are comfortable in and just stand up the front with you.

At the end of the day, it's entirely your decision, do what makes you happy X