Anyone else nervous about big groups of people and the attention?!

Oh that sounds horrible, to be feeling like that. ((hugs))

I was much more nervous than I thought I would be, but I forced myself to push it right away whenever it got to me, which I am guessing you're not able to do?

I was ill on the day, and shaking and nervous. I was sure I would be a hot, sweaty, awful mess. The second I got in to the room and my other half locked eyes with me I just willed him to get me there! And I stayed with him for so much of the day, as we went round and spoke to people, had the photos, danced, whatever. It was all about US! Spending time and enjoying the special day. Even in the evening (the bit I dreaded most) it was all just FINE!!!

I honestly think it won't be ANYWHERE NEAR as bad as you think, but that's the nature of anxiety

Panic attacks - ugh. They are awful.

I have suffered anxiety problems this year, had my first panic attack when I was on my own at home which made the experience even more frightening. Sometimes when I go to bed I feel one coming on, as this is when my thoughts catch up with me and I think about things I have to do; uni work, wedding stuff etc.

I'm so happy for you that like me, your OH supports you. Just listen to what he says, take a deep breath and take everything as it comes. May sound silly but would it help if you got someone to carry a paper bag around with them on your wedding day? Just so you know it is there, which may put bad feelings at ease.

Although lets be honest you will probably be way too happy to have a panic attack!

I hope it gets easier for you, I really do.

You just have to remember that everyone there is a person you love / loves you / wants you to do well and be happy!

It's not like stage fright where you're walking out in front of a group of strangers who are potentially judging you on your performance. You'll probably be nervous up until the moment the door opens, but once you see the first familiar, happy face looking back at you, you'll feel fine!

I am weirdly nervous too, despite being a bit over-confident in day-to-day life if anything; I've stood up in front of lecture theatres full of teenagers, given presentations to managers, been on stage, etc. but I am SOOOO nervous about walking out in front of everyone at the wedding! I think it's just a projection of the overall nerves I'm feeling about everything going to plan. Plus, I'll be all dolled up and wearing a sparkly white dress which is SO unlike me, I will feel self-conscious of that alone. I'm trying to treat it like fancy dress!

If you are getting anxious to the point that you need to up your meds, go for it, but you don't want to be doped up and de-sensitised. I was on ADs a while back and I found they just made me feel very 'meh' about everything. Would be a shame to be like that on your W day!

Thanks everyone for being so lovely about it, it really helps to have support and know there are others feeling the same. I have booked a doctors appointment for next week and will see what that brings. I guess its all about controlling the mind and feeling in control? x

I'm still at the panic attacks every day before work bit.

So yeah a little panicy about having 90 day guests!

i keep reminding myself that its all people I know and mostly people im close to and who understand and will be there for me!

I'm not a shy person at all but I'm quite scared about walking down the aisle and everyone staring at me. we've only got 50 people for the day but I just don't like being the centre of attention.

Maybe when I'm looking fabulous in my dress I'll feel differently but I can't imagine ever being comfortable with it.

I can empathise with you completely! I have panic attacks/general anxiety and the thought of walking down the aisle and standing at the front with everybody watching scares the bjaysus out of me. I get horrible dizzy spells when I get anxious so that is my main concern on the day! I'm trying not to think about the parts I feel most anxious about and focusing on the fact that I'll be having a fab morning with my bridesmaids all getting glammed up and then I'll be marrying my favourite person in the whole world! Easier said than done, I know! I think some fizz on the day will be a little help for me too in all honesty!

Good luck and have a fab wedding!

I feel for you here, we are both quiet people so aside from our closest family and best friends, the rest of our guest aren't coming until the evening - that is still 50 people though, i get very self conscious and don't deal with complements well so i am a bit worried but nothing like on the scale of what you are dealing with.

I have cousin who is a sort of hypnotherapist and believes very much in the power of the mind - it isn't something i understand much about but she helps people through situations like this so often - maybe there is someone in your area who could do the same?

Hi there,

I'm exactly the same. I suffer from social anxiety and at university couldn't even do the simplest presentation, not to a group, not to a handful of people and no even to my individual lecturer, I had to get a medical note indicating my issues.

It does alter how I live my every day life (I can't go to festivals and such) - I'm 23 so have 'missed' out on those experiences.

The thing for me is I will feel exceptionally 'exposed' come the wedding day and I am very scared about it.

Big hugs to you for your big day x

Most of the day you'll just be talking to people in very small groups though, just mingling as you would do at any other wedding. As some others have said, everyone's there to support you, and you know them all really well so it's much less scary than a group of strangers. Good idea to speak to your doctor to see what they think, fingers crossed you can relax on the day and enjoy every minute of it ? Ali x

I wonder if there are particular parts of the day that are making you particular anxious? There's nothing to say that most of the day has to go down the traditional route. I am walking down the aisle with my oh - i will be much happier that way. We are not having a first dance - I could not imagine anything more stressful. Is there anything that you could adapt to make the day less stressful?

One the medication front, i think you're right to speak to your doctor. Rather than anti-depressants, anti-anxiety medication can work wonders. I have used diazapam in the past and it's a marvel. I don't use it much anymore, but i keep some "just in case". It helps negate the fear of the fear, which is often half the problem.

And i'm sure you've thought of this before (if not done it) but maybe talk to your dr about talking therapies/cbt? May do you the world of good, or at least arm you better. If you have done that sort of thing before, maybe you could book just a couple of sessions to see if you can get some tools for dealing with this specific occasion - even privately if the waiting list is too long. You could take it out of the wedding budget, if it will make the difference between relaxing/enjoying yourself or not.

Good luck!