Anyone else want the ceremony over & done with?

No. Sorry. I think you're being a bit weird. We spent a lot of time "designing" our ceremony (as much as we could within venue/register office guidelines). We picked a mix of funny and touching readings/vows. We made people laugh and we made them cry.

Boy even inserted his own vow at the last minute - "Everything I have, I promise to share with you. Except the telly". The registrar didn't even skip a beat, and when it was my turn, she asked me to repeat the same. It was ace.

Crikey no.

The ceremony was the only bit we cared about - you could have kept the reception and partying for us. We serioulsy considered not having a reception at all.

It was important for lots of resoan - spiritual, legal, the real moment of committing ourselves to each other, the music and readings we love, performed/read by people we love. It was wonderful.

I'm with Footlong, I'm afraid.

I loved the ceremony and tried to pack it out as much as possible ?

I was even planning on making everyone sing a song (not a hymn obviously - civil ceremony) until I was convinced not to. Bah Humbug Husband.

We giggled throughout the entire thing.

Absoultly not!

I will be honest and say I am already getting butterflies at the thought of standing in front of people, but I also can't wait!

Since the very begining of our wedding planning, everyone has had their input and opinions on the reception, food, drinks...everything! But Our ceremony is untouchable. We have put a lot of effort into planning it to make it special for us, the rest of the day is for our guests! We are not having personailsed vows, because we dodn't want to feel any more nervous, but we are having a couple of close friends (who are already putting a massive load of effort and thought into it) to do readings.

Everyone if different though, but try to enjoy the type of ceremony you are planning rather than plan it to be a quick as possible!

Maybe it's because I've never been to a wedding where people have done 'extra' things (reading, personalised vows, etc.) as part of their ceremony; I'm finding it hard to visualise....?

But, different people have different priorities, I guess! ?

I get where Skeptical is coming from, the thought of all those people staring at me for longer than necessary is a bit daunting. We're not having our own vows but we are having two readings. One by my Best Woman ( she doesn't want a frilly bridesmaids dress or to be in too many photographs so we had to rename her) and one by my 7 year old son. We're viewing our big day as a giant garden party and although the ceremony is significant the celebrations are the most important part for us.

I know what you're saying, I really do. And it SHOULD be the most important part of the day. But (I'm not explaining this very well) to me it feels like a GIVEN that we're going to be together. We just....are. We've been together for 11 years and that's it. We always will be. We are two bits of the same thing. It's like, the wedding is the official bit, but it doesn't really change anything, it just feels like legal formalities to me, like applying for a driving licence....! Neither of us are spiritual people, or romantic in the slightest. That doesn't mean that our relationship is any less 'valid', we just share our feelings behind closed doors!

My Aunt and her husband were together for 30 years and six children before they decided to randomly get married one day. They're still together now; she's openly said that getting married didn't really change anything for them. Maybe it's just a family culture thing? We've never had big weddings in our family. Perhaps I feel a bit like having one might be a bit..pretentious? Like, we're somehow more special than other people? (we're not)

Or perhaps this is just pre-wedding nerves venting itself in an odd way? ?

I don't think you're being weird! Really, we're all different and for some of us being the centre of attention (even on our wedding day!) is just not something we're comfortable with.

Both myself and OH are not exactly looking forward to the ceremony itself, we are however looking forward to celebrating our commitment with friends and family after the ceremony and then, most importantly of all, enjoying married life together!

Thank you! I was starting to feel like a bit of a freak there. You've summed it up nicely; it's married life which is important to me, not necessarily the actual ceremony. ?

I think this is very well explained, and it does make alot of sense!

I'm with you on this, we are having a small wedding in Cyprus and the thought of adding personal vows and readings seems a bit much for the laid back vibe we have gone for. I hate being centre of attention so the bog standard is more than enough for me.

This. I think people have a very rigid idea of what a marriage ceremony is. It's the only part of our day I've watched back on video. We were laughing, chattering, cracking jokes, cuddling and kissing.

I'm sure you've had the same but I can't count the number of people who've said that they didn't realise a wedding ceremony could be "like that".

Yep. Loads of people commented on us randomly cracking up during parts of it. They all said it was lovely to see a couple so relaxed and obviously enjoying everything.

I've don't think I've ever been to a wedding where the bride / groom didn't look happy or full of enjoyment. Think there would be something pretty wrong if they didn't, I think......! (*shotgun*)

This is the mental image I have of me and OH at the ceremony now:

Sorry....forgot our wedding theme:

I think they meant audibly laughing and giggling rather than just being happy?

I loved our ceremonies!

Our Australian one was pretty traditional, but our home one was crazy! As it was a blessing, it didn't need any of the legal bits, although we did stick to certain formalities.

We had the same readings as we had in Australia, but then H's dad stood up and did a funny speech, in the absence of speeches in the evening.

The best part was our singing group doing a flash mob! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnE2I4zDGp0

I'm totally scared about the ceremony as its a Catholic ceremony and i'm not religious in the slightest. And I hate being the centre of attention.

I don't think you're weird because me and OH feel the same way. We are having readings though, one by mum and one by best-man that they have chose themselves, but we're not doing personal vows. It's just not us. To me it's a bit cringe, but again, that's just us.

I don't enjoy being centre of attention but the ceremony was without a shadow of a doubt my favourite part of our day.

We had readings (one funny, one more soppy), I think it lasted 45 minutes in total. Lots of people said to us afterwards that they had never attended a civil ceremony that was so lovely and personalised. It helped that our registrar was great too.

Just to clarify: we didn't personalise our vows, we just used the ones our registrar gave us (despite a proposed re-write by Boy, for comedy effect, and the ad-lib "telly" thing on the day). Those were quite nice and non-traditional though, and lots of people assumed we HAD written them ourselves.

We're going for the traditional vows, it makes it feel more formal and real for me. But we're hoping to personalise a lot of the rest of it with readings, candle lighting and music, including a friend of OH who's a singer. After what Karv said I'm wondering if we can get people to sing?! It's the only bit of church ceremonies that I miss.

I think it's a personal thing though and I do share your feelings of not wanting to be all lovey dovey in public when that's not how you really are.

I can honestly say I wasn't aware of anyone looking at us at all. The ceremony was me and H and the Rector and everyone else just wasn't on our radar at that moment.

I was much more aware of being the centre of attention during the reception.

I've been going to my church my whole life, my grandparents and parents got married there - I can't for my turn! I'd happily have the ceremony with no reception. we won't, but it's not the biggie for me.

Skeptical, I'm with you 100% of the way. I get that it's meaningful and special and all that, but I hate ceremonies and always have. For me the wedding is less about the ceremony itself and more about the coming together of all the people we love to have a party! Perhaps it's just that in my family our weddings have always been like that - short and sweet ceremony followed by an amazing dinner party.

The best bit is the life we have AFTER the wedding day, anyways: being married. And our happily ever after starts with the reception, so as far as I'm concerned it can't come soon enough!

Exactly this. It was my favourite part of the day and both of us have said it was like we were the only two people in the room.?

We were laughing, joking and even pulled our "signature stupid face" for our tog!

A question for those of you who think the ceremony is an annoyance to be got over with as quickly as possible: Why are you not just going down to registry office, signing the piece of paper? You can have a party with your friends and family whenever you choose after all?

That's what we're doing. We ARE just going to the registry office and signing a piece of paper! We're having a simple reg office wedding. THEY are the ones who tell you you have to have a ceremony, say certain words, have witnesses, etc. And the reception IS just basically a big party; it just happens to be on the same day! Any excuse for a celebration. ?

Some people love the ceremony bit, some people prefer the party. Neither party ('scuse the pun!) is right / wrong. I'm not saying that the ceremony isn't exciting / emotional / meaningful for some (in fact, most) people. I was just expressing my POV!

Maybe 'meaningful' was the wrong word!! Of COURSE it's meaningful...I meant more in a spiritual sense. ?

To be fair, these are legal requirements for a marriage.

There is absolutely nothing stopping you going as a couple, dragging two people off the street to witness, saying the bare essentials and leaving in five minutes.

I can see where you're coming from Skeptical. I also was really looking forward to the party after too & joked about getting the ceremony 'out of the way'.

However, we wrote our own vows & I actually really enjoyed the ceremony after all. I'm not very good with standing up in front of people, but to feel the coming together of all those months of planning & feeling the mass of 'love' in the room for us from our family & friends was so so special.

Everybody was rooting for us and was there to see us get married and it was really fab! Plus, the fact we only invited people we really wanted to the ceremony helped loads. I think that once you are in there & the nerves have dropped away, you'll love it too. Then after, you can go & get plastered! ? Which is always awesome too!xx

You're right, of course you are. We did contemplate doing this and then hopping on a cruise ship! I think that we decided against it because I know that our families would be heartbroken if we did, particularly mine. I'm the first of three sisters in my family to get married and I couldn't deprive my parents of that. My sister (lucky cow!) is already talking about eloping when she gets hitched- she could get away with it because the 'rents would have had their 'proper' wedding by then!

My parents' divorce hit me pretty hard. Until they split, they had been absolutely watertight (or so I thought). Perhaps I need to make peace with the fact that history doesn't necessarily repeat itself and that we aren't destined to end up like them? They promised to love and cherish and blah blah blah for all time. That worked out FABULOUSLY. Perhaps, as my username suggests, I've just become a bit skeptical about marriage in general, which is why I'm all about the knees up at the moment!?