Anyone finding having a new name strange?

Oh dear... Yes i think some time on the naughty step for not spelling a word correctly and also apparently insulting someone is required. Off I go and sit on said step .... Off to sleep now

I can't wait to get a new name - for no other reason than it'll be the start of a new chapter in my life!

Plus, Im of the view that a name is only a name - it makes no difference to who I am or what I do! My OH laughs at this, but its true! I could probably change my first name after the wedding as well as my surname and still be perfectly happy! :-)

Don't hurry back eh, MissBSoonToBeWhateverThePatriarchyTellsMeToBe?

Back on topic...today my H finally got his new credit card with his new name. We've only been married 4 months! The name changing thing is kinda time consuming. I couldn't be more proud and happy that he has my name though - it is so meaningful and personal to me. To us. To see that denigrated cos it isn't traditional can be hard, but I guess I expected it to some degree. we're very happy to be feminists, and trailblazers.

Good for you ID! And congrats to your H on his credit card. I wonder if he behaves the way I did when I got mine, I couldn't stop looking at it ?

Whichever way we choose to go, taking the man or woman's name, taking both and double-barrelling or taking neither and having a new name altogether shouldn't make any difference to anyone - it's our own individual choices that make us human ?

I personally think it's upto the bride and groom as a couple to decide about their surname. My OH asked me only a couple of weeks ago, my reply was that yes I would take his name but may double barrel with mine as I don't have any brothers to carry the family name.

Good job that I have 479 days to make up my mind....lol

I am tempted to change mine to smurfette

I will be taking oh's name but mainly to get rid of my old name as its my ex husbands name, I kept it so I had same name as my son, he's 19 soon so doesn't care what my name is now lol

My maiden name had no value whatsoever either (it was a very cool name tho) as it was my mothers ex husbands name, he isn't my father.

It will be nice to actually have a name with some meaning/sentimental value for a change.

I am excited to be taking my OH's surname. My reason for taking his name is that I want our family unit to have one surname, and I want us to share a surname as a couple.

I don't think him taking my surname even occurred to either of us, and his surname is also much more practical, as mine is a German name (but very similar to a Scottish one so people always misspell it) and we live in the UK. Both our surnames are perfectly good, relatively short (mine is 5 letters, his is 6). I guess it is also easier to take his as no one will question it.

I am not very attached to my surname, I will always be V.... B.... even when my name is V.... C...., my identity isn't defined by my name, my family isn't going to stop being my family etc.

I also pronounce my first name differently in the UK, the English way, not the German way, although some people do know and use the correct pronunciation (and we asked our celebrant to pronounce it the correct way). I'm not that bothered by people pronouncing it the English way.

Interested to hear your view on what we should do- there's no husband! *panic*

You're actually VERY "stupid" to think hiding behind 'my view' makes it not offensive.

So there could never be a rational explanation - it's only acceptable if something 'mad' has happened?

As it happens I always assumed I would take my husbands name. It was a tradition I was completely comfortable with, although I have no issue with people going other ways.

In our case the decision for me to keep my own name was primarily my H's choice. I have a really close relationship with my family, whereas his family is very fractured. He said that he wanted the cycle of destructiveness in his family to be broken with our marriage and as a symbol of that he did not want me taking his name, or continuing the family name. So I kept my own name and any children we have in the future will also have my name. H has kept his own name out of respect to his father (who he is close with), but may change to mine after his father passes.

Like ricepudding said then shouldn't we decide what is right for us? I use my married name at home and maiden name at work. It works for me. My best friend at intervals asks when l am going to change to married name, l don't see why l have to?

Exactly. As long as we're happy with our choice that's all that matters. I find the paradox of believing in equality but also saying that people should do things slightly confusing but to each their own.

I'm the first person in my direct family to get married so this has never been an issue before. My mother and my grandmother just continued the maternal name. Hence my reticence to give it up!

I changed my name when i was 16/17, when my parent divorced as i hated it even before the divorce. For as long as I can remember I wanted to change it.

So now I have a name that I chose my mothers maiden name (chosen because of my respect for my grandfather), I am now the last one as he passed a few years ago.

I've mainly avoided the topic of name change as I don't want to make a decision on it. I have considered double barreling but both are surnames can also be used as first names mine a male name and his female so for one of us which ever way round we put it, the first part will sound like a middle name, if you know what I mean.

So for now i'm pretending its not a thing.

Ohh Dear people do love a good arguement on here!

Im very traditional, i want my family to all have the same name this is why

it doesnt upset me to have my OH's last name this will be "my" familys name.

i am also very open to what others choose, if my OH wanted my name

i would agree to this also.