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Rockstar June 2024 Essex

Anyone “giving themselves away”?

Mrsjones2024, 25 April, 2019 at 20:43 Posted on Planning 0 9

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Hi all,

Is anyone planning to/has given themselves away?

My dad emigrated to Thailand in October 2016. His wife is Thai (they met here and have been married for 15 years. Their plan was always to emigrate once he had retired).

We were always very close but, since he emigrated, we have barely spoken. His wife is on FB and has always liked and commented on my posts etc but I have only spoken to him via FaceTime about four times. I don’t have his mobile number or his address.

He recently joined Facebook and we are friends but he’s not great with technology.

Anyway, my OH proposed to me a few weeks ago. He’s never met my dad but he thought it was right to message him on FB to ask his permission. He didn’t read it, so he messaged my dad’s wife and she didn’t read it either!

We anounced our engagement on FB and they both liked the post. My OH sent my dad a friend request which he rejected?! My dad then sent my OH’s mum a friend request (they’ve never met!!! I think he doesn’t know what he’s doing online!!!)

Anyway, I sent my dad a FB message and then wrote on his wall to say I’d sent him a message. His wife liked the post but he hasn’t read my message.....very frustrating!

My issue is that I don’t trust him to turn up to the wedding. I will invite him (if I can ever get hold of him!) but, until he lands at Heathrow, I won’t believe that he’s actually going to attend the wedding and give me away. Plus, the travel will be expensive. So, I thought that I had better come up with a contingency plan. Apart from my OH’s dad, there isn’t really anyone else that I would feel comfortable asking to give me away. Plus, I don’t really want people to feel sorry for me and know that my dad didn’t come and that he let me down.

So, I was thinking of giving myself away (if my dad is a no-show). I quite like the whole independent woman vibe but, I worry that it’s nice to have that emotional support as you walk down the aisle. I have bridesmaids but they will be going first. I don’t want to ask my mum as (this is going to sound very shallow) she is teeny tiny and makes even the smallest of girls look huge next to her :-)

Has anyone given themselves away or planning to?

Thanks for reading x

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9 replies

Latest activity by Mrsjones2024, 10 May, 2019 at 18:46

Rockstar June 2020
HappyBlueCars582 · 25 April, 2019 at 22:22
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I’m planning a registry office wedding with just the 2 of us 2 witnesses (probably whoever we can grab on the day!) and I’ll be giving myself away. I hadn’t really given it much thought but I guess that’s because we’re just doing it in secret, just the 2 of us.
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Expert September 2019
Have_you_met_Mrs_Jones2019 · 26 April, 2019 at 08:33
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Hey, I'm sorry your dad is being such a flake - I really hope he gets his act together and is there for you!

Do you have a number you could contact him on, or maybe you could try Skype/WhatsApp video call? Failing that, maybe write him a letter?

There is only so much you can do, but I really hope he realises what he is missing out on if he doesn't attend.

Regarding the giving yourself away bit - go for it! I'm doing the same thing - my dad passed away a few years ago, and there was no one else I wanted to do it - I thought about my mum, but I always pictured in my head that it would be my dad, and I feel like I just don't want anyone else.

I think it will be ok - it will be emotional, but just keep your eyes focussed on your groom if you need to. And I'm sure if on the day you change your mind, anyone you ask will be happy to step in.

Best of luck - from a fellow future Mrs Jones! X
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Paula @ Ollievision · 26 April, 2019 at 11:26
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Giving away isn't a legal part of the ceremony, so it can be missed out completely. You could have your mum or maid of honour escort you down the aisle.
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Beginner May 2019
SorrentoBride · 27 April, 2019 at 20:17
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Hello from yet another future Mrs Jones! We are marrying in Italy in a couple of weeks time, going alone with witnesses supplied by our Italian wedding planners. I will be giving myself away. I've been married before almost 29 years ago, my dad gave me away that time, but I was 'returned' 22 years later when my ex decided he wanted a divorce. The plan for this time round is that we will arrive at the venue together, but he will then go and wait at the end of the carpet (marrying in the Cloisters in Sorrento), and I will walk down the aisle alone. Figured if Meghan Markle can walk part way by herself at a huge royal wedding, I can do it at our little wedding! ❤️
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Rockstar June 2024 Essex
Mrsjones2024 · 2 May, 2019 at 19:40
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Thank you for your replies! There are a lot of future Mrs Joneses out there!

Still no word...he still hasn’t read my message on FB. I have a mobile number that is on his FB Page so I’m going to send him a text. If I get no joy that way, I’ll try and FaceTime his wife. I doubt his phone will be a smart phone.

I did think that if it’s good enough for Meghan Markle, then it’s good enough for me! The aisle at my venue is short so it shouldn’t be too daunting! X
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Beginner March 2016
BuryBride · 4 May, 2019 at 21:41
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I didn’t want to be given away so we decided to do it a bit different. I walked in about a third of the way on my own and my husband walked up to meet me and we walked the rest together. Just another option. I love the photo where he greeted me and kissed me in the centre of the aile
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Beginner May 2019
SorrentoBride · 4 May, 2019 at 23:42
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BuryBride, that sounds lovely! Will have to mention it to my fiance, might be something we could do ❤️
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Rockstar June 2024 Essex
Mrsjones2024 · 8 May, 2019 at 20:45
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That’s a nice idea, thank you Bury Bride. I really like that x
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Beginner December 2019
SunnyOrangeCakes81714 · 10 May, 2019 at 09:02
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BuryBride I love the symbolism of that!

My dad passed away 13yrs ago and I personally don't like the sumbolism behind being given away. No judgement on those who do it, it's just not for me
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Rockstar June 2024 Essex
Mrsjones2024 · 10 May, 2019 at 18:46
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I agree with not being too comfortable with being “given away” but thought it would be nice to have that walk together. There has been some progress though, my Dad and his wife messaged my fiancé yesterday saying they are very happy for us and that we have their blessing....

Next step will be messaging him back, telling him the date and asking if they’ll come. I’ll expect a reply in about four weeks time ? x
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