Anyone going double-barrelled?

Hey. I'm double barrelling. Mainly due to having my daughter who has my maiden name wanting to keep hold of it, so me and my partner decided doubling it was the way to go. I don't know if my man is taking it on but he is happy if we do.

Im not DB'ing.

My 2 boys have my H2B's surname and I cant wait to join them!

I used to think it was only 'posh' people that had DB names but it is quite common now.

Yes we are. Our son already has both our surnames as a db so we are joining him.

Bit complicated as h2b has to change his name by deed poll and then get a new passport in his new db surname before we can do the notice of marriages. Will be worth it though, our son is very excited, he is very family orientated 7yr old lol

I am taking my OH's name, I think that is part of the fun/joy of getting married!

I'm taking OH's name- when it cones to DB name I think some go really well together and the others are too much of a mouthful, most of the people I know who have a DB name are always being called by the first part of their surname which also put me off- it would get annoying constantly haveing to correct people

I will be, but not using it probably.

Strictly speaking I'm double-barrelled already, but don't use the first half of it. I plan to retain the first half and change the second half to my OH's surname. I've got no brothers, so I wanted some way to keep at least a part of the family name going

I'm considering it as i really like my current name, and dont like what will be my married name. I also will find it easier for work to keep use of my own name too- I have lots of current/relevant certificates and I dont want to have to get them changed either. If only it was tradition for men to take on our names!

Exact same reason as me Blondevickie. I'm an only child and my Dad, who was also an only child died 13yrs ago. So for sentimental reasons thats why we are going db, to not let my name die out.

Exact same reason as me Blondevickie. I'm an only child and my Dad, who was also an only child died 13yrs ago. So for sentimental reasons thats why we are going db, to not let my name die out.

WSS

My dad died when i was 9 and i'm an only child. H2B has already done his deed poll info so now has my surname followed by his (to add to the complication - H2B had a big fall out with his dad a few years ago and didn't want to keep his surname so has taken his grandfathers, mum's dad, so he's completely changed). For work etc i'll just be using H2B's new surname and leaving mine off but for bank etc i'll use full, double barrelled name

I think i've just confused myself with the above but you get the jist of it ?

I really wanted as didnt want to lose my 'family' name, the discussion has been had many a time in out house!!

Sadly, Mr F doesnt like it Db'd. My surname currently can be used for a first name, so, ive threatened to use it as a middle name on alll future children, so it will actually look like they are double barrelled ?

That your previously mocking was a little harsh?

I didn't change my surname but for some women, it's a really difficult choice (it shouldn't be, but it is). Any women who feels that double-barrelling is the right compromise shouldn't be written off as pretentious! It might be a desperate attempt to keep her identity in the face of a stubborn man. It might be a nice way to recognise childrens' surnames in family unit. It might just be personal preference.

Of course, it may well be pretentious in some cases.

I toyled with the idea as my maiden name is so unusual, it was like I was loosing my identity but at the same time I don't really like DB names either so in the end I went with OH's. We dont have children yet so I like the idea of us all being the same.

I've been double-barrelled all my life and I can't wait to get rid of it! It's a pain in the backside!

My OH has a DB surname and our 3 children all have his surname. I will be taking his name because I am bored of being the odd one out in our house.

I will be taking OHs surname... both our kids have it so ill no longer be the odd one out

I'm doing this.

Although its quite sad still as that means my dads surname will die out. :-(

Im taking his - our surnames would not go together doubled barred - both have alternative names for mens private parts in them and so really don't work.

I am sad at losing mine, as some people call me by it, so I making them promise to still do that (including boy)

The thing is, as others have said, DB never used to be particularly common and those that were 'proper' DB were so due to the entire DB name being passed down through the generations (and I went to a reasonably posh grammar school so there were many DB'd well off families). It DID only used to be those who wanted to 'make themselves sound posher' who went DB through marriage, hence my pretentious comment. Many things have changed over the last decade though! There are also more children being born before marriage and it's become more common that the child has the DB'd name (as mentioned in this thread) and so totally understandable that the parents then want to join them.

My dad was an only child, and I do have a brother but he has had two daughters ? so I am inclined to hold onto a bit of a my maiden name. I think I'll need to ask friends if they think the names work together (don't want to post here for obvious reasons!) I think OH is a bit reluctant as he has a very unusual name, which was particularly important in a particular industry which has since died out, so he understandably wants to hold onto it. I'll have to keep asking him I suppose!

For those who don't want their maiden name to die out, there is another option. After my first marriage, i took ex H's surname, but moved mine to be a middle name by deed poll. So I went from Miss Firstname Middlename Maidenname to Mrs Firstname Maidenname New surname. It's a popular approach in Scotland, I'm told. Advantage now in second marriage is that if I change my surname again, I still retain my maiden name as a middle name. I didn't really want to change my name, but think it's insulting to H2b to keep using an ex husband's surname.

I'm the same as a couple of the others. Our boys have h2b's surname, so I can't wait to finally change mine and join them!

For those who are changing their name to stop being the odd one out/wanting same name as children/etc, did you ever consider changing your name by deed poll, prior to marriage?

I'm doing as MrsH has said. My surname will become my middle name and my OH will also take my surname as his middle name and change his name by deed poll. We will possibly give future children my maiden surname as a middle name too so the name does not die out. I really didn't want to lose my maiden name and felt it was unfair that I was expected to change and OH just got to remain the same. He wouldn't consider taking my name, so this way it's a compromise from us both. We really couldn't double barrell as it sounds like a bit of an insult!

Well, after the 'things you wouldn't have at my wedding' thread got me several points on the pretentious list (stately home venue, string quartet, horse & carriage) I might as well go the whole hog and get double-barrelled ?

*Browses the internet for purchasable titles...*

But my lovely, YOUR stately home venue is the real deal, not a nouveau riche, parvenu pretender...

?

Well, even that depends on your perspective - the ceremony room is *only* in the converted stables doncha know!

If it sounds okay and you are attached to your maiden name, I would definitely say DB. I LOVE my current surname but I do want to take OH's surname mostly for if we have children. If they DB'd well, we would have done that. Unfortunately his is long and only a couple of steps off a Shufflebottom (I don't like it either), mine is foreign, and my first and middle names are both quite long (3-4 syllables each), so all-in-all it sounds ridiculous.

It's not that long since a similar post was on here. Then, I asked what would happen in the future if you double barrel your names and then have children. So, you have a son, say, James Longford-Allen and he meets a lovely girl called Jessica Richardson-Harris - what happens then? Do they become James and Jessica Longford-Allen Richardson-Harris? Where does it end? Are you effectively taking that option away from your children?

i'm being a little devil's advocate here but would really like to know thoughts on this.

No thoughts then?

CC, you make a very good point!

If both I and OH were already double barelled, I would either take his whole DB name, or suggest that we created a new DB with half of each name. So James Longford-Allen and Jessica Richardson-Harris might become James and Jessica Longford-Harris!

Or maybe if we DB, the DB'ing will be the bane of our children's life and they'll be desperate to marry a 'Smith' ?

I think I'm going to DB. My partner was very against it, hes rather old fashioned, but my father never had boys, and i dont want my name to fade off. I was considering it as a middle name but I want my children to share my background.

My partners name is very, normal, whereas mine is a very irish name. I'd like my children to have that as a part of them.

Also I'll be his second wife (he was married at 21, seperated at 24). So his daugher has his name, but so does his ex wife. So i'd rather be a little more me

Heres a question for those dbing... what if you partner wont? For example if he was smith and i was richards, i would be Mrs Richards-Smith whereas he wants to remain Mr Smith.

He he, this question surprised me as this is the default position in my head! The concept and reality of double-barrelling in my circle of friends almost always means that the girl double-barrels, the boy doesn't. Had I considered double-barreling, I don't think it would have entered my head for him to do the same. To be fair, most double-barrelers I know were childless entering the marriage and the girl did so to retain the maiden name for professional reasons (something the boys wouldn't have needed to do).