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havecreditwillwed
Beginner August 2013

Anyone got any 1st dance tips?

havecreditwillwed, 1 July, 2013 at 21:45 Posted on Planning 0 30

HELP!

We have chosen Stand By Me by Ben E King as our first dance https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwZNL7QVJjE

I am completely hopeless, I have no rhythm, I cannot follow a lead, all I can do is that left to right shuffle dance you used to do at the school disco aged 7. What am I going to do?

OH is a good dancer, has rhythm etc, but he doesn't really dance with me (as I am so cr@p) he is one of those guys that looks cool in a nightclub but we don;t really dance together doing turns and whathaveyou.

I really don't know what to do - sorry this is so idiotis, but do we do the old fashioned one arm round his waist holding his hand with my other hand thing? OMG.

He is 6 foot 5, I am 5 foot three. The mechanics of it are even tricky.

The only other dance I can do is the one where you go around in a circle holding each others butts.

SAVE ME! What are you going to do!

P.s - please, I can't even grapevine in Aerobics,I cannot do any fancy choreography!

30 replies

Latest activity by Simon and Alison, 2 July, 2013 at 13:31
  • C
    Rockstar August 2013
    cherrybloom ·
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    HCWW, I'm sorry but this made me ?

    Now back to the formalities, have you thought about lessons, or maybe just practice at home to get the right mojo!! All in all do what feels comfortable, so if you wanna grab butts do it ( not sure the oldies will appreciate that though). Most of all don't worry about it, you will be alright

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  • Mrspetal
    Beginner February 2014
    Mrspetal ·
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    Why not find some bars that are having theme nights and go together and have a good old boogie?!

    Saying that make a playlist of songs that are of similar tempo and just dance around the kitchen together.

    Sounds like to me you need to practice dancing together.

    I like the sound of my own idea.. I may steal it lol x

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  • *MM3*
    Beginner June 2014
    *MM3* ·
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    Practise makes perfect! Put the song on and practise dancing to it slowly, with your partner or when he's at work by yourself..grab a teddy haha or look into having some lessons?
    I'm the same I think i'll feel a bit silly but tbh i'm just going to go with whatever feels right on the day and hope i'm not still worrying about how we look.
    Lots of people worry about this and it ends up fine on the day, have a champers & be merry..thats what I plan lol.

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  • havecreditwillwed
    Beginner August 2013
    havecreditwillwed ·
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    Cherry - I might not be able to dance, but I'm bringin' the bling!! ?

    I will try to get OH to have a little practice with me although he struggles to understand why I am so hopeless. the thought of a class terrifies me - a friend of ours used to do a class and they made them switch partners - at least OH loves me, a random guy would just be appalled!

    One of my friend's parents has a photo on their mantlepiece taken 15 years ago where me and 5 friends are dancing to the macarena - everyone is facing the front apart from guess who.

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  • Forever Wedding Dance
    Rockstar September 2013
    Forever Wedding Dance ·
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    Ahhh this is my specialist subject and at the moment I have lots of couples like you who come to me just for a one-off session to try and feel comfortable, even if they don't want fancy choreography. If you have teachers in your area offering a gentle one-off lesson for a few tips then I would say go for it - it won't be as scary as you think. I have lots of nervous / reluctant couples and they are always happy after the event. If you let me know where you're based I might be able to recommend someone in your area as I know lots of dance teachers all over the place.

    It's hard to give too many practical tips without being able to show you (perhaps I should do a lesson via webcam for all you nervous hitchers to follow at home?!) but I would second what everyone says about relaxing and trying to enjoy just dancing together at home to get used to holding each other. If you want me to try and describe a few tips on here (ways to hold each other, finding the beat, simple turns etc) then I am happy to, just let me know!

    Good luck with it and don't let it stress you out! No one will be expecting Fred and Ginger!

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  • havecreditwillwed
    Beginner August 2013
    havecreditwillwed ·
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    I am in Wimbledon!

    I could not find a beat with both hands and a following wind, but I admire the optimism. ;-)

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  • *MM3*
    Beginner June 2014
    *MM3* ·
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    A lesson via webcam would be brilliant lol! I for one would be dancing around my living room trying to teach my feet to move ?

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  • Icklefee
    Super May 2014
    Icklefee ·
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    We've been having weekly practises in the kitchen, much to the horror of our 4 year old who is traumatised by the sight of mummy and daddy kissing! I don't think we'll do much dancing in between our overly dramatic twirls and dips and stopping for a snog just to wind the kids up.

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  • havecreditwillwed
    Beginner August 2013
    havecreditwillwed ·
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    Snogging I can do, that is not an issue?

    Give me the basics - where do the hands go for example?am I supposed to go around backwards like on Strictly?

    I have tried watching Pride & Prejudice, Zoolander etc for dance tips, but I am more confused than ever.

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  • Forever Wedding Dance
    Rockstar September 2013
    Forever Wedding Dance ·
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    So I am actually in your area then! I won't push for business but contact me if you like - website in the signature. I promise I am very gentle and will make it fun!

    And I just saw your other message about dance classes - in group lessons you are more likely to be swapped about (I have to when I teach ballroom for colleges and places like that due to equal ops, some people coming without partners etc) but in a private lesson it would just be you two.

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  • ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown
    Beginner January 2012
    ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown ·
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    We jumped around to the White Stripes for our first dance. Not because we can't dance - Boy is excellent at standing still while I twirl around him - but because proper dancing in front of everyone, especially to a soppy tune, isn't really our thing.

    You don't have to have a first dance, you know.

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  • *MM3*
    Beginner June 2014
    *MM3* ·
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    Me & OH actually discussed doing the pulp fiction (never can tell - Chuck Berry) dance and it would give us a laugh and wouldn't have to be great dancers to do..but decided to go with a slow one lol, much to his disappointment ?

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  • Forever Wedding Dance
    Rockstar September 2013
    Forever Wedding Dance ·
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    I will seriously think about it - perhaps I could do a 'basic tips' video which you could download from a link? I'd need to work out the tech but it's a thought.

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  • *MM3*
    Beginner June 2014
    *MM3* ·
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    White Stripes are my fave band ever haha! Think we're going with one of their songs for our first dance, possible Jacks version of "You belong to me" he did live. OH loves red hot chili peppers though so it's currently a battle out the 2, or pick a band we both love equally lol. Slow dancing isn't our thing either so not really sure how ridiculous we're going to look ?

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  • havecreditwillwed
    Beginner August 2013
    havecreditwillwed ·
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    Even if you could do a fast dance and a slower dance and have someone video you it would help!

    I have checked out your website, you look very lovely indeed and I will give it serious thought! Thanks Emma!

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  • Icklefee
    Super May 2014
    Icklefee ·
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    we have height issues to contend with so we tend to hold hands rather than arms around each other, otherwise he's strangling me and his waist is somewhat larger than my very short arms. Our song is quite bouncy and we have a reggae band so no need for Strictly-style routines.

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  • *MM3*
    Beginner June 2014
    *MM3* ·
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    Definitely a great idea I think Smiley smile I'd bet loads of brides would love something like that!

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  • C
    Rockstar August 2013
    cherrybloom ·
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    I love a little reggae Icklefee, what band is it, do you mind me asking?

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  • Icklefee
    Super May 2014
    Icklefee ·
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    They have different names depending on which agency you go through - We have them booked under The Beat Kings but on Warble they are The One Step.

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  • C
    Rockstar August 2013
    cherrybloom ·
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    Ahh my bling twin, try do a little practice indoors and the video/webcam sounds like a good idea, most of all enjoy it!! Practice in the shoes too

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  • Forever Wedding Dance
    Rockstar September 2013
    Forever Wedding Dance ·
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    OK I would need a couple to feature in the video - I think it will be better if you can see me guiding them rather than just watch me without a partner. One of my existing couples might do it but if anyone London based (or happy to come to London) would like a highly reduced or possibly even free (depending on where / when etc) lesson in return for doing a bit of modelling then let me know!

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  • Kentish Gal
    Beginner July 2013
    Kentish Gal ·
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    We went for a one-off lesson but had loads of fun and laughed a lot and went back 3 more times. We now have a basic dance, with lifts, that makes us giggle. We've only practiced it 3 times since March though. Could be great entertainment for our guests!!

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  • estilomodabridal
    estilomodabridal ·
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    I would also say practice, get a dance tutor if possible, its relaxing as well

    Good luck

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  • Simon and Alison
    Beginner
    Simon and Alison ·
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    Most people just have a bit of a cuddle, a bit of a shuffle, and slowly turn around through their first dance - and that's fine ? The main thing is that you enjoy yourselves, and are as relaxed as possible.

    If you're not a natural dancer then I'd be wary of learning a "routine" as such, or having lessons. If you're not confident then you'll just look worried and like you're concentrating really hard on where your feet need to go....

    Ali

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  • The Wedding Singer
    The Wedding Singer ·
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    Lots of my brides and grooms are really nervous about their first dance (most are to be truthful!) What we often do is encourage other guests to join the bride and groom part way through the song so you're not out there too long on your own with everyone watching.

    How much of the song we play before doing this is totally up to the bride and groom and depends on how much they are dreading being up on their own ?

    James

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  • Forever Wedding Dance
    Rockstar September 2013
    Forever Wedding Dance ·
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    So obviously I say this with complete and transparent bias but I disagree about being wary of having lessons. Avoiding a routine might be a good bet if you're not comfortable with it but having lessons doesn't have to equate to having a routine.

    I think a lot of nervous dancers worry that having a lesson means that someone Bruno Tonioli style will sweep in and try to Strictly-fy you with a big extravagant routine (and actually if you want that, then you can have that too) but if that's not your style, a good teacher won't force unnatural moves on you. A lesson can be useful just to help feel the music, learn how to hold each other comfortably, how to move together a bit more instinctively to the music etc. You can still just shuffle and sway if you want to, but you'll just feel a lot more confident about doing it.

    Also as the wedding singer says you don't have to be on the floor the whole time - sometimes my couples will just do a little bit at the start and then have people join them. At my own wedding (at which of course I am under particular pressure to do something spectacular because of my job but I'm actually doing something quite simple that my OH will be comfortable with) we have edited the middle out of our song so that we just have the first and last verse, so it's not too long.

    The amount of people that come to me nervously, even reluctantly, and then go out of their lessons buzzing is too many for me to even estimate but I'm not just saying this to promote my own personal classes - like Kentish Gal said, she went for one session and then really enjoyed it and wanted more. As I said at the top, of course I am biased in the same way that all HIB's are enthusiastic about their area of business but I just wanted to say that having a lesson doesn't mean having fancy choreography so no one should feel worried about the thought of a lesson.

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  • Kentish Gal
    Beginner July 2013
    Kentish Gal ·
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    That's totally going to be us, ha ha. Hilarious. But I wanted to make an effort as it's such a special day, plus I can't stand the end-of-year-disco-shuffle, so the payoff was worth it, in my eyes!!!

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  • Kentish Gal
    Beginner July 2013
    Kentish Gal ·
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    We've got a basic foxtrot, which we like, with a variety of breaks, a few twirls to show the frock off, and a lift and a kiss at the end. The song is only 3 minutes long, then we're breaking out in to something funky and our wedding party will join us for a boogie and hopefully others will too. If we mess it up it'll be history within minutes lol

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  • R
    Beginner September 2013
    r4chy ·
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    Have you thought about doing something totally different? My boss did the Hokey Kokey (sp.), getting everyone up, and it was great fun. It also got people up dancing after the first dance.

    Whatever you decide will be good, just enjoy your day ?

    Rxx

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  • ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown
    Beginner January 2012
    ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown ·
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    He he, we used lyrics from Hotel Yorba on our invitations (Let's get married in a big cathedral by a priest, 'cause if I'm the man that you love the most you can say "I do" at least). Hotel Yorba was also our first dance. Our place cards also had lyrics on them, different for everybody. Mine was the same Hotel Yorba one, Boy had an excerpt from Your Southern Can Is Mine (although we credited it to the original songwriter).


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  • Simon and Alison
    Beginner
    Simon and Alison ·
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    I stand corrected ? I guess when a couple have lessons but still do a shuffle, we often won't realise that they had lessons beforehand.

    When we've known a couple have had some lessons, or learnt a routine sometimes it's been great, they've enjoyed themselves and the guests have too. But we have had one or two couples who had tricky routines who looked terrified, uncomfortable, and were counting "1..2..3..4" to each other right the way through.

    I guess the trick is to find a good teacher ?

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