Anyone not having a Hen?

On my first hen I went clubbing with three friends, which was ok (a bit naff tbh IMO). This time (yesterday!) 6 of us just went for a meal at my favourite local, reasonably priced restaurant, and we had a few drinks, no falling over drunks or anything OTT, which was lurrrvly!

Being allergic to tiaras, fairy wings and custom made hen night t-shirts I am planning a nice spa treatment/ meal afternoon with my 2 bridesmaids and my mum.

I kept debating whether I would feel like I was missing out if I didn't have a 'proper' hen getting pissed and wearing L plates, but at the end of the day I don't enjoy clubbing anymore and I just wouldn't have a good night. I'm now thinking about a spa weekend with my mum, sister and bridesmaids.

i did have2 hen nights BUT the best one i had was a spa day, just me and my best friend- BLISS maybe you could do this with your mum

Same, not a drinker or a clubber, never really have been.

We're having a hag with our close friends instead, afternoon BBQ at home about 1-2 weeks before the wedding then we're going to our reception venue (our friends beautiful pub/restaurant) for a few drinks in the evening

I don't really want a hen do but I'm ending up having two!! One is a flower arranging type thing with cake & fizz & tea & I'm quite looking forward to that.

The other is slightly out of my hands... I like to have a drink now & then & I like eating!!! I absolutely refuse to wear L plates or use any novelty items. I cringe at the thought. I keep referring to it as an excuse for a girls night out as opposed to something that centres around me. I know I'm being a bit of a bore but the hen night has been my biggest stress so far!

We are having a hen and stag but we are doing it during the day not at night. My fiance is going on a little boat trip and I am hiring a convertible to go around an island for the day. No drinking involved, just a nice fun day out. At night we are meeting up all together boys and girls to celebrate. You don't have to have the typical type of hen do. The hen do should be about the bride celebrating her excitement with her friends and everyone should be making the bride feel special. So the hen do can be anything you like, anything that keeps you happy, or makes you feel special and comfortable. Why don't you go on a little spa day eith your mum, mother in law, and best friend? (bridesmaid, etc) ,or just you and your mum! There are nice cheap packages on buyagift.com hace a look! You will feel chilled and refreshed!

Thanks for all the replies, glad to hear I'm not the only one! I did consider a spa day, and I hadn't actually thought about doing the hen during the day, I like the sound of the boat trip!

I find myself allergic to all novelties too

No worries hun! Good luck!

I don't think a hen do has to be all novelties and getting bladdered! thats just the way some people do it.

there are so many things you can do that you enjoy with some close girlfriends and you mum and then just put 'hen do' title on it.

xxx

I'm probably not doing anything, hate clubbing, hate spa treatments and absolutely hate all the tacky stuff people seem to insist you have on a hen night.

My friends weren't too impressed that I wasn't going to have a hen night, they said I've 'got to'. Where does it say I've got to have a hen night?

OH isn't having a stag either.

May possible have everyone round for a BBQ a month before but that's not set in stone. I'd rather use the money for someone on the wedding day.

People may think I'm boring but I don't care it's my wedding not theirs!

Well done hun I agree! My OH (Andrew) and I aren't having anything special either! We are doing sth during the day and then meeting up all together! The wedding is in Greece where I am from and all my friends are there so it would be nice for me to spend some time with them during the day before the wedding as on the day it will be mad and won't be able to spend proper time with them and after the wedding I want to be on my own with my hubby! People where shocked when we said we are just doing sth during the day and then meeting up all together to celebrate! They were all like " but it would be fun you should do sth at night" well we are but we are having a night out boys and girls together why should I do crazy things? And andrew's mates were like: "you have to have a proper obe bla bla bla" why do we "have to"? I don't get this! We don't have to do anything! We can sit in the toilet ans stare at poo as far as I care, if that's what we want! Lol what's all the fuss about with hens and stags and your last night of freedom? Well u r not free! If you were u wouldn't be getting married! Lol I hate all those extreme things and andrew does as well! That's what we want to do, if u don't like it then don't attend! Lol lol I think sometimes people are just looking for excuses to go out and go mental and ott! I can do that but I want to do it with my man not on my own! He is part of my life and I don't want to act single when I'm not! I want him there for everything! Lol you should do whatever u want for your wedding and your hen! U can sit down and stare at a wall and call it a hen if u want who cars???xxx

I dont mind a night out but tbh i never had a hen with my first wedding and i felt a little deflated that it never happened if that makes sense

even if you go to a nice hotel spa treatments with your mum make something special of the girly time xxx

I'm not ? I really don't mind...I have no friends and I'd rather not spend anymore time with my female family as they annoy me enough as it is lol ?

Are you saying that anyone who does go mad on their hen/stag night, clubbing, tacky willy straw etc etc are acting like they are single?

Seaweed, what is sth?

Save the Hen?

By the way, before I get misunderstood! I am not against hen and stag events and occasions etc I just don't like all the fuss and pressure that comes from some people like its the law to have one!

To the OP, I had what my Boy refers to as the "most middle-class hen do ever". We hired a cottage in the Peaks, had cocktails, pizza, BBQ, went rambling, drank real ale, no makeup worn, nor a high heel to be seen. Was fabulous!

But no blanket making? Footlong, I'm disappointed in you.

No hun! Sorry it sounded that way! Its really passionate now I am reading it back. You should do whatever u like on your hen do! I am just frustrated with people pressuring us. We already have a plan and not changing it but there is fuss from friends telling us we have to do sth crazy when we don't want to! I was just talking this way cause this is what we say to our friends when they annoy the hell out of us! Lol I like clubbing a lot! I am a party animal! On the other hand I only go clubbing with Andrew and all our friends, but we like to stick together but that's just us! Everyone is different! Really sorry about that! I didn't mean it this way! I was just expressing my frustration towards our own friends grrr lol

I did. I went quad biking, played drinking games, wore a tutu, had a willy garter, L plates, willy straws and a sash. A complete tack fest and I loved it.?

ETA: Ease up with the "huns". Thank you please.

ETTA: We still dont know what sth means? Is it a secret code?

Sounds absolutely fab but, the only people I'd want to spend the time with would be my best friends from school who a) all have children so going away for a weekend would be an issue; b) wouldn't know what a walking boot or map or compass was (did A level Geography with most of them & the field trip was interesting); and, c) certainly don't drink real ale!

Given me a thought though perhaps me and the OH should do as you did but just the 2 of us!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA That sounds hilarious! Trying to picture you! LOL I wouldn't be able to do that but I am certainly doing what I want lol you should post a pic with you on your hen lol lol lol My comment was more personal, around what I am going through lol Thtat's what goes through my head and Andrew's head every time our friends start their massive speech about their idea of the perfect hen or stag lol My favourite item our of your hen stuff was the willy thing hahahahaha

STH IS SOMETHING LOL

I was REALLY against the idea and definitely did not want 'L' plates and tiaras to make an appearance. Had considered a girlie night away at the wigwams (www.wigwamholidays.com) but in the end we chose to have a joint stag/hen (STEN) do so it's just a nice quiet meal in our favourite local restaurant after a spot of tubing on the local ski slope.

I prefer this too because it means that everyone gets to know each other before the wedding plus we get to ask people who won't be able ot make the STEN do (wedding is a good distance away)

Would that be more up your street?

I am not having L plates or tiaras either but might put a tag on my top that says bride and my OH will put one that says groom, and thats it. We are having a ''HAG'' too or ''STEN'' whatever you would like to call it lol, at night! During the day we are doing sth separate with our friends but nothing extreme! Just a nice, chilling, summer day in Greece (as the wedding is there! we are having our hen/stag day activities there the day before the wedding as all the guests will have arrived and at night we will all have a chilled drink together, boys and girls, very chilled though as the wedding is the next day)

I was reading one every so slightly cynical take on Hag/Sten's that said if you can't have a night on your own you obviously have trust issues! Please, eijit!

I can't wait for mine now whereas I hated the idea before. Can't say all our friends are happy but at the end of the day, they can do what they like on theirs and we won't complain :-)

Did you really read that comment somewhere? Who said such thing? lol We certainly haven't got any trust issues as when we first got together we were living in 2 different countries and were visiting each other every other weekend. We stayed really strong for over a year doing this and then we decided to live in the same country and stay with each other after he proposed to me. We made it through this so I would never say there is any trust issues. After what we have been through though we would rather stick together now and not be apart again as much as possible. We were apart enough when I was living in Greece 4 years ago! I can not wait for ours either! Just ignore the firends, they will always complain lol thats what happens when u get married!

I am having a boat ride during the day then a night in with the girls, my MOH has planned a few surprises but we are not going out.

I didn't want a hen do at all, but my sister is planning one for me and keeping me in the loop and now I am sooooo excited!

That's cool, what are you doing now?

Sx