Are you having a gift list?

Do you mean a gift list? ?

If so, no we decided not to have one. We have everything we need and don't really want anything either so we've just said to people who've asked that if they absolutely feel that they must contribute in some way, we'd appreciate a small donation to our favourite charity instead. We set up a just giving page with a text number that we can give to people.

We've been quite open about what we want. We already have all the stuff we need so we've written the following:

"Donations towards our Honeymoon, discreetly, and anonymously posted in the special letterbox available on the day would be received with gratitude."

The invitations that go to Dutch rellies will also have a small envelope symbol as in their part of the Netherlands that is understood to mean we'd like cash.

Personally, I have no issues with doing this. We're having a small family gathering in a lovely house, they're all travelling (so are we) and we've provided two night's accommodation for everyone (30 people including ourselves).

Frankly, I don't give a flying if anyone else thinks this approach is rude. I'm sure we'll get the odd tenner from less well off rellies and more from others - there's no stipulation for, nor expectation of a minimum. We're happy that everyone will know that we're getting something we really want which is a couple of lovely days in our all time favourite hotel.

We won't be making a gift list and we won't be putting anything in invitations either about money. I did consider asking for contributions to honeymoon if people want to give us anything but i've changed my mind now.

I'm just going to leave it and if people want to get us anything its their choice but don't want people to feel obliged.

We didn't have a gift list. It annoys me at other weddings when I've bought things from a specific store, and know I could have bought the same thing cheaper elsewhere.

I personally think the money poems are tacky- either be honest and say what you are saving for - honeymoon, new boiler, house etc or say nothing at all.

We didn't ask for anything. Out of 60 guests, we got cash from nearly all, gift vouchers from 2 and 1 guest gave a gift.

We are not having a gift list, I find them rude.

We have had several people ask what we want, and have replied saying something along the lines of 'we are lucky enough to have everything we need and don't want anyway to feel obliged to buy us anything. However, if you feel you really want to, a small contribution to our honeymoon in Mexico would be appreciated'. We have booked the honeymoon on a credit card and are way over our budget so this is very genuine!

I am aware that some people would rather give a gift, but I wasn't comfortable doing this. Every wedding we have been to we have given £100 cash in the card regardless of whether there is a list or not.

Its a controversial topic around these parts! You'll find a lot of people dislike the poems or asking for gifts in general. I had a honeymoon poem and people thought it was lovely so it very much depends on the people you're inviting I think.

We didn't ask for anything in the invitations (h2b was not amused - he wanted cash!) as I felt it was better to leave people to make their own decisions and not feel pressured. I am now doing a list though as some people have asked what we would like and would prefer to give a gift than money.

Im still thinking about this but I might put a honeymoon poem in. I just dont want to offend people

We're not having a gift list. We are still saving for a house and living with OH's mum so wouldn't have anywhere to put things. Just made it clear on the invite we didn't expect anything but if they wanted to give us something then we just said small cash donations to help us towards our house/furnishing our house or gift cards.

I was going to not put anything but to be honest I know a lot of people, family especially would want to give something and i couldn't be bothered to answer 50 calls from people asking what we wanted ?

We're not having a gift list. We are still saving for a house and living with OH's mum so wouldn't have anywhere to put things. Just made it clear on the invite we didn't expect anything but if they wanted to give us something then we just said small cash donations to help us towards our house/furnishing our house or gift cards.

I was going to not put anything but to be honest I know a lot of people, family especially would want to give something and i couldn't be bothered to answer 50 calls from people asking what we wanted ?

Haha yes I did mean gift list!

That's a very cool idea.

We are having a gift list at John Lewis and the info is on our website.

As a guest I would never not buy a gift and am more than happy to buy off a list so at least I can be sure it is something that the bride a groom want. Different people will have VERY different views on this so do what is right for you and your guests.

Exactly this. I didn't want a gift list as I hate asking for anything, but I also find it annoying going to weddings where there is no guidance. In the end I gave in as OH wanted to do a John Lewis one.

This is exactly us! Didn't put anything about it on invitations so people have the option to either not bother, buy us something they think we'll like, or ask us. If anyone asks us what we want, we just say that no gift is needed but if they absolutely must get us something, a contribution to the honeymoon fund would be appreciated. We also booked on credit card and it's the only thing that's put us into debt!

Be prepared to split the room in two with this one! Some people think they are rude personally I find them quite useful as I'm usually hopeless at buying gifts even for my OH - I stress for ages, go back and fourth and can never decide so usually end up with something comical which is useful and funny for about 20 seconds!

We personally have a John Lewis gift list and have also booked our honeymoon through Kuoni's so said people can do list/honeymoon or just attend we don't mind either way but it means we don't have to continually answer the question of what would you like?!

I was skint a few years ago and attended a friends wedding - they had a list so I bought them a tin opener - I felt like I had given them something even though I couldn't spend a lot. Every time I go round their house they still say to me - your tin opener is going strong so it's clearly still useful!!!!

Martin's money tips had 50 ways to save money on a wedding number 38 - 41 is about gift giving! https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/cheaper-weddings/

We had nothing in the invitations, and when people asked we were very clear that we knew they were travelling a long way so we didnt expect anything. We received mostly cash and vouchers and a few gifts which were not to our taste (photo frames, wine glasses) but still very much appreciated. So it worked out fine.

We have everything we need so we are just sending out money poems

We wrote this on the invitations: "As our wedding falls on a weekday, and most of you have a long way to travel, we simply request that your presence is our present. Thank you for spending our special day with us."

We wanted to write something (to stop the questions!) but make it clear we knew that our wedding was costing almost all of our guests a fair whack of money just to get to; out of 50 guests, only 10 of them actually live in or anywhere remotely near London!

If you look through the site, you will find many threads on this subject and you will find that a lot of people, myself included, think asking for gifts or money is rude. You will also find that even more people think money poems are tacky and honestly, quite vile - if you must ask, then just ask - don't hide your request in a poem.

If you don't put anything in your invitations, then your guests will either ask, give you cash/vouchers or buy you a gift anyway - personally, I think this is the better way.

We specifically told our guests we didn't want any gifts and we still got a few - we appreciate every single one, even those we will never use.

We are planning on setting up a gift list on Prezola. However, we are not going to be putting the details on the invitation as we don't want to look like we expect a gift (we don't - we'll be happy just to have their company as a lot will have to travel).

It's just so if anyone asks we can then point them to a list as we know some people will want some ideas.

We said no gifts on our invitations as we knew people were travelling a long way. I was apathetic about the whole gift issue but my husband felt very strongly that gift lists or asking for money was rude. Personally I would just have left the invitation silent; however even saying no gifts we still got a selection of cheques, vouchers and presents.