Are you inviting your friends children to your Wedding?

Hi, there is another quite similar thread a few days ago called 'invitations and kiddies' (or something v similar) and someone has posted on there a great little idea for what to say on the Save the Dates or Invites.

We are working the other way round and really catering for parents. We will be parents of a 1 year old and every couple (bar two) have kids, so we are having a day reception only (if my fiancé had his way, it would be the RO followed by the pub!)

No you won't.

Having said all that, we had a child-free wedding (apart from a friend brought her 6 month old to the ceremony then left after the afternoon reception). We had 58 adult guests. That meant excluding family children and those belonging to close friends (best man/BMs).

The best way, in my cabbage, to approach this is NOT to pre-empt what you think the problem with their children will be - no Mum wants to be told that someone thinks their child is a bit of a whiny baby. And NOT to pre-empt what they might want - some people don't want a night away from their kids, they actually like spending time with them.

Focus on explaining what YOU want, a close, intimate gathering. Maybe if you can find something about the venue to blame it on, that's fine (we did, our venue open fires, lots of stairs, no changing facilities and so on - we put on the invitation "Sorry but the venue cannot accommodate children"). Can you claim that numbers won't allow it?

I honestly wouldn't worry about it...

We've only invited children if they are in the bridal party and our close friends little girl. We sent the invites to Mr & Mrs Smith and not one person has said "Can my kids come?" I've had a "Can my new partner not come?" but no one has asked about the kids...

Unless its behind my back - Haha!

I completely agree with this ^ (apart from the bit about not noticing kids crying all through the ceremony; I've been at a number of weddings where the bride has said her vows through gritted teeth because of this...)

We're not having kids at the wedding; like you- don't have any, don't particularly like them in any great number. But I'm not going to TELL people that! Regardless of how laid back your friends are they become awfully precious when it comes to their offspring.

Instead, we've cunningly selected a venue which has a strict over 18's policy (it's a wine bar) and the registry office has VERY tightly restricted numbers. So...*innocent face* "it's not our fault your darling little kiddies can't come to the wedding...it's those nasty mean people at the venue and registry office...THEY said no...!" ?

In all honesty, all my friends I've spoken to who have kids have said they'd relish a night off anyway!

There isn't an easy answer to this - it completely depends on the ages of children, parenting styles of guests, wealth of guests, how far guests have to travel etc. My daughter is 5 months old and exclusively breastfed and I've never left her. So I wouldn't go to a wedding where couldn't bring her. Most people have an exception for young babies to accommodate this but then if a baby has older siblings it could get confusing. When my daughter's older I wouldn't want to go anywhere I have to stay overnight without her, and at the moment we just wouldn't be able to afford that level of extra childcare and don't have family closeby to help.

We're lucky because most of our friends don't have children so it's not a major issue for us. Our venue only charges £10 per extra child and none for babies. We have our daughter and 5 year old niece coming. A couple from work have daughters of similar ages so we're inviting them too but they are a couple who wouldn't care if the children weren't invited. We've also invited my antenatal class (6 more babies) but they're not coming to the ceremony because there was a difference in numbers allowed so it will limit the ceremony disruptions!

We went to a wedding when my daughter was nearly 3 months and noone noticed she was there in the ceremony. I also stayed for the whole evening reception while she was asleep in a wrap! But there were a couple of 1-2 year olds who made a bit of noise (although the bride told me she never noticed!).

Ultimately it's your decision what you do at your wedding but you have to expect that some people may not want to come without them and I think it would be polite to let them know you understand if that's the case so they aren't made to feel guilty.

EDIT: forgot to say that half of the antenatal couples (the ones with grandparents who live near) have said they'd rather leave the babies/take them home before the evening

I only invited children of family to the wedding (There were nearly 20 of them).

No children of friends were invited and no one minded but there weren't any tiny babies among those.

I also hired childminders for during the ceremony as the capacity for the ceremony was less than the capacity for the meal.

Initially, we had a no kids policy due to numbers and budget, we invited family children and that was all but a few kids have crept into the seating plan lol i dont mind though our budget has expanded. We have children of our own though and it'll be nice for them to catch up with their old friends. Most however arent bringing their children and are thankful for an adults day and night! We just addressed the adults on the invite

To copy and paste my response from yesterdays thread on kids and weddings;

Nope. Children+weddings= disaster

(in my humble cabbage)

Recyling mine post on yesterday's thread as well: