Asking offspring for board

I paid board to my parents as soon as I started working (approx 10 years ago) and paid £100 per month. Everyone I knew at the time (bar one) paid something. My H actually moved into a flat on his own when he was about 21 / 22 as it was cheaper than living with his mum!

Well for a start she should be paying for her own mobile! I think £10 pw board is reasonable; round it up to £50 a month. I think it's important to set a precedent as soon as she starts working, or else it'll be difficult to enforce later.

When I was 18 and earning £800 a month, I paid my dad £50 a week.

I see no issue with your step daughter paying a measley £10. Why are you still paying her phone bill if she is earning her own wage? I think I'd quite like to be your step daugter ?

well the phone was an 18 month contract that I agreed to because she never had credit on her old one and I wanted her to get in contact with us if she needed to. So much of it was for my benefit, but she always goes over anyway. So I am not unreasonable then in asking for board!

Can I be your step daughter?

£10 a week is fantastic, I pay £200 a month and I earn £14k a year. I'm moving out in a couple of weeks though and it won't cost me massively more for a flat share. Most people I know pay less. The only ones that haven't/don't pay board were saving up to move out asap and it was agreed with the parents as a way of helping them. I pay all my own bills too, soooo jealous ?

Before Mr Smith and I moved out together, I was living at home, not paying rent or bills, only my mobile, and if I happened to be out in the car and it needed petrol (mum's car) I'd fill it up. Often, though, I'd get the money back! ?

However, Mr Smith paid rent to his mum of £150 a month until we moved out together, even if he didn't have a room in the house!! He started off staying in a tent bed when he came back to live there, and soon that was gone, so he had to sleep on the sofa!

It all really depends on the parents..

Well i still stay with my parents, mostly due to the fact i cant afford a flat.

I earn only around £600 per month but I dont pay any board?

I have offered, however my mum doesnt want to take it off me when she knows im only earning min wage.

To make up for the lack of dig money, i buy bits and bobs of shopping throughout the week. And buy things for the house, such as small pieces of furniture, paid for new doors in living room. Obviously I pay for my own toiletries, pay my own phone bill, pay for my car payments and insurance.

My mum seems to prefer it that way.

Last year I gave them a loan of £1000 for their summer holiday and they have paid it back over a year interest free?

This year, I am taking them and my brother on holiday to florida?

I agree with the others, £10 pw is minimal. I know it can be a tricky subject, but I think, especially if she is earning as much as you then she should contribute fairly to the household. I would think asking for board as well as a contribution to the bills is fair, especially her part of the phone bill and she should be paying her own mobile bill.

I know people that still live at home in their 20's and dont pay much but contribute to bills and do other things like pay for the weekly shop now and again.

£10 pw? Blimey, that's a pittance. Once I was earning fulltime, I insisted on paying my parents £25 pw and that was a quarter of my weekly wage nearly twenty years ago! It was a matter of pride, having seen how my two older brothers took the mickey for years.

Cheap as chips! Well over 10 years ago my H was paying his Dad £350 a month board. (Yep, way OTT IMHO)

In my year out before uni I was paying 160 a month for board....I think I was bumped cos this just covered washing really, as they ate early in the evening before I got home from work. More often than not I had to buy and cook my own food on top! I was on about 600 quid a month I had to save for uni out of that and managed it.

I would say you are being generous tbh....how much longer on the phone contract is there? I would maybe ask for half towrds the cost or any monies that now go over the standard charge, plus 50 per month. I think it teaches them the value of money, once they move out it will sooo much more expensive than what she would pay now.

I'm astonished actually at how many of you paid board?! I honestly didn't think it was the norm.

I lived at home for my 2nd two years of Uni and for a year after that and never paid board! I offered but was never taken up on the offer. Instead I saved the money. I used to do most of the housework etc though so maybe they thought it was a fair swap!

I'd charge much more than that personally. once i started working fulltime i paid £60 a week, (7 years ago) and was earning about 700 a month. once i moved out my flatshare was £300 a month, if i'd gone from a small amount to £300 plus car insurance, plus petrol, plus food then i think i would have had issues with budgeting.

I remember my mum based it on something her father had said, 1/3 on outgoings, 1/3 to spend 1/3 to save. pity our outgoings today don't match that at all.?

I'd also charge more than that. It's not just whether it's value for money or whether the money is needed in the household, but it's also teaching that 'life' costs money and to pay one's way etc. I agree with other posters that it teaches about budgeting, etc.

I got a job between school and uni and was asked to pay something as keep for those three months. I can't remember how much now.

When I first started work my take home pay was £480 a month (coming up to 16 years ago) and I paid my gran £100 a month for board. As my pay went up over the years (I didnt leave home till I was 28) so did my board. After all I was living there, using the utilities and everything, its only fair.

I had my own place when I was 16 and paid £250 a month all in. It was a bedsit, flat share type thing. I moved back home when I was 18 and mum wanted the same. Once I'd managed to save some money I moved back out into my own place.

£10pw would have been heaven!

Obviously, it depends on what your s-daughter is earning as to how much she contributes, but I agree that she does need to pay towards her keep. I remember blazing rows with my poor Mum 20 years ago when she insisted on £200 p/m out of my £400 wage. I thought it was very unfair..not sure why though as I was a strange teenager, practically hermit like! She was really struggling financially back then and I do feel bad about the fuss I made..

I paid £20/week board in 1991 and felt guilty it wasn't enough but my parents wouldn't accept more.

I think she should pay board and take over her own mobile contract. It was OK for you to pay when she wasn't working but she is now and it should be her responsibility. Its better she learn now that things cost and she can't spend all her money on going out/makeup/music/whatever her interests are. At some point she'll move out and it'll be a shock that she has to pay rent/council tax/phone/TV licence/food and all the rest. I also think you should encourage her to save some of her earnings. It'll all make it a lot easier for her later on.

My parents had a rule that we paid 20% of our salaries up to a maximum of £200. I always gave my mum a little extra every month as she did so much for me. I'm a firm believer that it teaches you about money and that my parents were not there to do everything for me just becuase their my parents. To be honest £200 odd a month is a pittance compared the the current cost of living in our household, I definately knew how lucky I was.

Like others have said it's not just asking her to contribute, but teaching her that 'life' costs money. The last time I was at home, in the early '90's I took home less than £500 a month. My board was £35 a week.

In this day and age £50 a week is reasonable - if you think that's harsh, take the £50 off her, and secretly put mayby half of it in a bank account and it could be offered as a deposit when she decides to get her own place.

I used to pay my mum £25 a week when I started work and I think it's quite reasonable to ask for some rent.

Aside from the mobile I'd ask for rent each week but the amount is up to you as I guess it depends on how much she earns but £25-£50 is a fair amount I think.

If you feel bad then save some of it and use it towards buying her something or helping her when she moves out into her own place.

I moved out in 2000 and i paid my Mum £100 a month. She never asked for it and was embarassed taking it, but i wanted to help out. My brother, on the other hand, is 28 and still lives with the parents but has never paid them a penny.

When I first started working, a YTS and earning £35 a week, I paid £11 a week dig money. £10 for my digs etc and £1 a week for the phone. When I earned more my digs went up accordingly.

When I wasn't working for a couple of months, I gave all my benefit money to my mum and she gave me money as and when I needed it, which wouldn't have been much.

I paid £25 a week back in 1993! That was from a gross salary of £120 of which I took home about £100.

H's parents charged him quite a bit more as I know when he moved out of their house and in to lodgings it actually saved him money.

I don't really think parents should profit from it but I do think they should cover their costs.

Well, work out what she'd be paying if she was in her own flat - rent/mortgage, council tax, electricity, gas, water, food, phone bills, internet...

£50 a month doesn't even start to cover it ?

If you have an agreement about housework while she saves for a deposit or something, fair enough, but I can't imagine living with my parents past 18 years while working and not contributing to the household expenses. How on earth is that fair?

As soon as I got my first part-time job I had to pay my mum 10% towards the household costs. When I started working full time that went upto £120 per month. I had to pay that regardless of the fact I was practically living at my boyfriend's house, doing my own washing etc. And, because I worked shifts, I was mostly providing my own food too.

I was annoyed at the time, but it did mean I was used to forking out for bills when I got my own place.

**** (when I came home from Uni and worked in my home town) I paid £50 per week.

1998 - 1999 (when I was young, free and single) I paid £80 per week.

**** (single mother, living with my parents) I paid £800 - £900 per month for B&L and childcare. Plus I was expected to get shopping as and when.

She should definitely be paying for her own phone! When I moved home from uni I paid my parents £150 a month which is what I had been paying at uni. I think enough to cover her food is fair, then you won't feel like you're profiting. So probably £50-£60 a month?

When I started working (about 1998/1999 I think) I was on a YTS scheme and earned £75 per week.

I used to pay my Dad £108 per month board, and another £20ish per week used to go on my bus fares. He used to work it out as £25 (per week) multiplied by 52 (weeks in the year) and then divided by 12 for my monthly figure. He used to give me invoices too..... but he's an arse so that's another story!

If you are feeling generous, but feel the need to try and teach her about paying her way, you could always charge more and put some of it in a savings account - then when she is ready to move out, you can give her back what has been saved to help her set herself up.

Can you make up a spreadsheet of all the costs of running a home (as others have said, council tax, gas/electric, food, TV licence, phone etc) and explain to her what her "share" of these would be, so she understands how much everything costs. This might show her just what a good deal she'd be getting for £10 per week!

As for the mobile, £35 per month is really expensive! I'm on a contract with Orange and it costs around £18 per month. I know you're locked in to an 18 month contract but I really think she should be paying for that herself. At the most you could say you'll pay a basic "line rental" and she can pay for any calls herself.

It's so important to learn the value of money, and the value of having a supportive family, as you clearly provide.