At what point do I mention RSVP's?

When is the deadline for sending them back? There's no harm in mentioning it in passing at the moment.

When is RSVP? My invites went out about the same time as yours and RSVP is 2nd Dec. We had a trickle at the beginning and then nothing for 2 weeks!!

We've given til the start of January as wedding isn't until March. Beginning to feel like a very long time to wait, but at the same time, its only family we know coming and close friends, all of which we want to come so we got invites out earlier than planned as we didnt do STD's.

I know this might sound a bit daft, but do his parents know to rsvp? I always thought it was a bit strange to ask parents to RSVP, though it turns out to be quite common.

Yep, they got the RSVP card and addressed envelope. They just need a stamp, which seriously is not a problem for them as they send things they sell on ebay all the time by going to the post office and OH's mum is always in supermarkets so its not like they've had a chance not to get one?

Plus, the invites from my parents to them, not from us. They havent really had anything at all to do with the wedding, their choice ☹️

Maybe they think it's a keepsake? I will write my parents one, but more for a keepsake than anything else.

I don't think it's too early to chase though!

Hmm, maybe. Would kinda hope not as it had their name on it, and I know OH's dad has dietry requirements that my parents wouldnt know about it. I think I will just slip it in a conversation tomorrow to them just incase ?

I think it's a bit rude to chase before the given deadline I'm afraid. Day after the deadline, fine, but if you've given a date to reply by then you should wait until it has passed before you can start to nag people about it. They've got plenty of time to RSVP... according to the deadline YOU set.

I'm thinking maybe they don't expect to need to RSVP and that it's a formality. Thinking back to past family weddings and if it has been close family then we just said we were coming. Would you really expect an RSVP from the best men? We're not, the same as I wouldn't expect anything from any of the formal wedding party. They have already accepted their roles so if they don't turn up then they know their lives won't be worth living!!! ?

I suppose because there is a dietary requirement then of course you'll need the info back. I would just wait until the deadline after all that's the day you said you'd like the information and then politely remind them you do need their responses so that your parents can account for the dietary requirements. So unless you genuinely believe they may not come for some reason then I'd just chill.

Remember our big days are all we can think about, the details fill our every waking moment. Sorry to say it, but to others they are just a really great party happening sometime in the future. Give them some time I'm sure they are meaning to get round to it - Sounds like you come from some very well organised genes, perhaps Hubby to be doesn't!

It's two months til the deadline, so no need to panic yet. It's just been half term so anyone with kids will have had plenty to deal with. Others need time to apply for annual eave or just don't want to look too keen! We had some late replies, but on the whole we had a big cluster of responses immediately and another just before the deadline. It's just human nature!

And another random thought - you might get lots of rsvps in with Christmas cards, just from picking that deadline.

I would strongly suspect that they assume you know they are coming and don't realise you want the card back. Tbh, with family that close, if you have a verbal confirmation, do you really need a piece of card?

I agree in that you've set the RSVP date, so you can't really chase them until that date has passed.

However I do believe everyone, even parents, bridesmaids, best men etc shoud RSVP. It's a nice momento to keep.

To be honest they have probably assumed that they don't need to reply as it's so obvious they're coming. We didn't get replies from either set of parents, OH's grandparents, bridesmaid or best man. There were also a few friends that I see all the time who assumed they didn't need to reply as they told me they were coming.

I realised with my wedding that it was the only thing I was thinking about half the time. Yet for the rest of the family it was just always something that was months away and they just didn't "get" why I wanted everything sorted months in advance. I think most of the time they just don't realise how much planning is involved. ?

I think they may just assume you know they are coming so haven't rushed into replying formally. Maybe get your OH to mention that you are starting to recieve RSVP's and it's really nice to hear back from everyone.