Attending a wedding as a guest and the costs!

It absolutely is which is why I can get a bit cross when people assume/expect guests to put up and shut up. I had 3 within 6 months last year. Luckily all were different groups of people so I was able to wear the same outfit for all three. We were also quite fortunate that none of them needed us to stay over as one was local and we got a friend to bring us home. Another was where family live so we hired a minibus abd crashed at a relatives house, and the third was in a really expensive local country hotel but we were going on holiday the next day, on a motorboike :/ and couldn't afford to be jaded by alcohol and lack of sleep so I drove us home. - Winner but it can be very very expensive if you do have to stay and/or buy multiple outfits.

Is the hotel the wedding venue or just one near by? If it is nearby, just speak to them and say you are going to a wedding near by and if there is a chance you can get your room a little earlier to freshen up after a long drive. I used to work in a hotel and would try my best to let people have their rooms early if they needed them. Is there not a Premier inn or Travelodge a littel further out that you could try, even if its a couple of quid more in a taxi they are usually cheaper and should let you have your room earlier.

I remember a few years back we had 3 all day weddings to go to in the space of 6 weeks, all the same group of friends so we couldn't get away with wearing the same outfi. The only bonus of this they were all a cab/walk home so we didn't have to pay for a hotel.

Next wedding we're attending -

My outfit - £50

Gift £40

Wedding breakfast (we have to pay for our own) £50

Drinks £50? (There's no drinks included)

Taxis £15

That's £205 without having to stay in a hotel and not including stag do that OH went on. We've been really conscious about keeping cost low for our guests but if they do decide to stay at our venue rather than the travel lodge down the road it's going to cost them more. Isn't there any alternative accommodation near by?

It really does add up doesn't it!

The last few years we've had quite a few and it's surprising how quickly it adds up, especially if you are going on the hen and stag weekend too.

Last year we had two weddings two weeks apart that were two hours away so we ended up staying two nights at each. That wasn't cheap. For us too my H is self employed so if he has to have time off during the week he doesn't get paid so we have to factor that in too!

I have 2 weddings to attend next week - one on Thursday and one on Sunday. It's an expensive week! Luckily they are both drive-able. But outfits, gifts, drinks etc all adds up.

We've got two in June to attend as well, two weeks apart I think. They're different groups of friends so although I'll have to buy a new outfit for the first I can wear it to both.

The first of ours is around 9 miles away and near OH's mums so we'll probably park at hers and get a lift the rest of the way to save trying to find a parking space in the middle of town.

The second is about an hour or so drive but it's not too far from my grandparents so we will probably make a little weekend of it and visit them.

Yep. Hence one of the more annoying things to see on this forum is the sentiment that "We're paying for their dinner, what more do they want" and similar.

Between new outfits, travel costs and the exceptionally generous cheque mr winters grandparents gave (£1500!!!! ) they paid more to attend than we did to have them there!!!! :/

it's scary expensive on both sides of the fence really!

Personally can't see the need for a new outfit per wedding - but that's just me. I agree hotels, travel etc can all add up. Is there a different nearby hotel where you can stay?

I had two or three years in a row where I had 8-10 weddings a year. I bought loads of new dresses and now I don't have to bother anymore as I have enough to last me a lifetime!

I just have to say that this is really strange!!! If I was asking for guests to pay for their own meal, I certainly wouldn't expect or ask for a gift. I'd refuse a gift! The tradition of wedding gifts is surely at least partly to off-set the expense of the meal and included free drinks ??? This is why evening reception guests give smaller presents than those who attend for the whole day, taking part in the drinks reception and meal!

Plus, as an afterthought, I also think it is ridiculous to buy new outfits for every wedding; unless you have plenty of disposable money of course.

I don't care if someone has seen my dress before. If I have a nice dress, I'll wear it loads!

I went to 4 weddings last year, and alternated my wedding outfits. I also plan to wear one of the same dresses later on this year, as I love it!

I think this was our main concern when we started planning, hence we are having the whole thing at one venue in our home town so not more than a tenner on taxis for most people, we've also said we dont require gifts and managed to find a bit of money to go behind the bar. we are going to our friends wedding next month which is turning out a bit expensive but they are lovely people and ive bought a gorgeous dress for it so mustn't grumble ;-)

I'm buying a new dress to attend weddings this year because I only have one wedding appropriate dress right now so I can't even alternate!! ?

We are having our wedding in Greece, 40 guests coming and as a thank you we are paying the 30% deposit for their rooms. For a couple it works out as just over £300 for the week (including flights, but excluding spending money). That may seem a lot, but when you read the above posts of nearly £200 for a night and with our wedding everyone gets a weeks holiday in the sun, we're really excited and have made the right choice to go abroad.

We recently received a wedding invite for OH friend (who I've never met) to their wedding in Italy. Fair enough people choose to get married abroad but to cap it off they put the little slip in the invitation with their John Lewis gift list on! I stood their in shock. If its not going to cost us enough to fly to Italy they also expect gifts.

I have been really concious about the cost for guests attending our wedding and we have kept it local to where most people live.

x

It's threads like this that make me nervous about posting a gift list Don't get me wrong, I agree with everything posted, but it makes me squirmy expecting people to fork out then buy me a vase on top of it all.

tempted to ask for money instead and then people can opt in or out - you know, with a really natty poem to go with it saying your presence is all we ask etc not your presents...

I have 4 full day guest weddings this year and my own so can see it from both sides. Luckily I've built up a wardrobe of 4 outfits over the years, mainly from ebay to wear to weddings so that's not too bad. As much as it costs to be a guest, now having had to plan and pay for my own wedding I can really see how bride/grooms get upset at moaning guests. I'm currently being left with a bill from my hen do from a friend who hasn't paid and cancelled last minute, she's a day guest with partner and it's now really annoying me that she's coming while owing me money! It's only £30 but it's the fact that she would do that to me. I hate to think how many hours I've spent planning my wedding, a lot done for the benefit of my guests, it's really made me appreciate other peoples weddings that I attend, before I don't think I noticed as much. I've also been naive on how much these darn weddings cost! We aren't rich, have done nothing extravagent (our receptions at a pub function room) and it's still cost thousands! Like I said before I am so much more appreciative of others weddings now. As soon as I get an invite I check the cost out and RSVP accordingly, we're even camping with another couple at one this year to keep costs down and enable us to go! The couple just laughed, thanked us for making the effort and have offered one of the ushers rooms to get ready in on the day :-)

I have deliberately (much to annoyance of my fiancé) not asked for wedding gifts. Half of our guesses live 100-200 miles away, the accommodation at our wedding venue is £100 per person for the weekend and because we are short on money too, I can't repay them with fancy meals or free drinks all night. So I felt uncomfortable asking for anything. I have been amazed at the amount of people that are travelling and staying for the evening part of the wedding, I thought everyone would say its too far, that has been so nice

I had 4 weddings in one year once, luckily my daughter was bridesmaid for 2 of them and not invited to other 2, or it would've been ado much more expensive

I am also happy to re use old dresses