Awful phone call from wedding singer. UPDATED!

If you have it all via email, I would just forward it to him and say 'following on from our phone call, just want to confirm that the below is still fine?'. Maybe it will help to refresh his memory.

Does he usually do weddings? What you've asked for is very common, so i'm surprised to hear that he's not been asked to work in that way before. For us, it's rare to have a solo singer of an evening, solo artists tend to do their sets during the afternoon reception or as you have planned, during the meal. During which time I don't think i've ever seen anyone dancing and i've seen my fair share of rat pack style singers.

As above, i'd forward the email over as something and see what he says before making a decision to cancel or not.

Good luck, hope it all resolves itself.

Went to email, he beat me to it! I'm even more sure I want to cancel him now,...

Hi again, just to confirm I will be there at 2.45 to set up. I really would like to sing the song for your first dance for you, its my specialty, maybe at my second set after all have settled down and finished eating. I could do "The Way You Look Tonight" or "Cant help falling in Love" By Elvis or "For once in my life" Frank Sinatra style or maybe something else you have in mind. You cannot beat this being done live, always special. Its no big deal, just saying it is my specialty. Looking forward to meeting you

Grrrrrrr!! What do you guys think about this? I think it's very odd, unprofessional behaviour!

It sounds odd!

Erm.... surely it's up to you - not him - whether or not he sings your first song, and also what song it is! Very weird behaviour... It definitely sounds like he's not going to stay in the background. What is the PA / microphone / sound system going to be like? I'd worry that he would be so loud that people wouldn't be able to talk over it.

Send him a very firm email stating the times you want him to perform and exactly how you want him to perform. Tell him in no uncertain terms that it is for you to decide who or what will perform your first dance song and that it has been decided by you already. Then tell him that you expect him to stick to the terms and conditions you agreed on when you booked him and that if he cannot do that you will require a full refund so you can find someone who will.

Personally, I wouldn't want him - he sounds like a complete knob!

I'm assuming that you'll have a fairly standard wedding day timeline? In which case, your first dance isn't going to immediately follow your meal anyway- usually there's a 1-2 hour gap after food for speeches, tea/coffee, rooms to be turned around, DJ to set up and so on.

Out of interest, where are you/they based?

How rude! So he wants you to rejig your wedding to suit him ? You are the customer and he should do as you want.

Arrogant d!ck! It sounds like you've hurt his ego - no bad thing, if he's so up himself that he's forgotten that his clients should come first. I don't know how much you paid as a deposit, but I'd drop him sharpish.

Mkw I'm worried about this too. He's using his own equipment, even more worrying!

Sam&Louise yes our time line was done by the venue and is standard for a wedding! He obviously doesn't do weddings, despite him saying he does! I'm based in North London, he is based in West London.

Madam red I paid £150 deposit. And he will charge me £30 if I cancel!!

Its an awful situation and I know. I had something similar with the harpist. When I wanted her to just play and not sing, she said that was her specialty! I ended up having her, as didn't know any other one and she played in my SIL's band.

In hindsight, I wished I'd found someone else.

Do you know anyone else that has used him/reviews etc? Have you actually heard him sing/play face to face?

I got married in Aus, (live in London) so only heard this lady sing via skype beforehand, and my goodness, face to face was far worse!

I'd start looking around for other options.

Teal. Oh no what a shame! I don't know anyone else that's used him. I've read a few good reviews though. I've not heard him face to face.

I definitely want to cancel him now after speaking to h2b about it. I don't want to be worrying g about him on the day!

Want to email him tonight.....but what would you say?? I don't want to go into detail about my reasons as don't want him to convince me to keep him lol.

I'd just keep it fairly simple and to the point.

Something like

Dear *Name*

Following our conversation yesterday it has become clear that your area of specialism does not fall in line with the vision myself and my partner have in mind for our wedding. We appreciate your advice on this matter, but we both feel that our needs would be best met by someone who is able to provide exactly what we are looking for. Therefore we would like to cancel our booking with you. Please let us know if this requires any further action from us.

Regards

Names

Wow he seems very odd and not professional at all! I would definitely think about cancelling although I understand there will be cost implications so easier said than done. It just makes me wonder whether he thinks this is your wedding or a concert put on by himself?!

Just to be controversial........Rat Pack singers by genre like to be the attention...they love people stopping to see them perform, so being in the background while people eat simply isn't what they are about.....ratpacking is all about being centre stage and inclusive to all the guests......If you have middle aged guests, it is likely they may wish to "swing" with the pack and get up and dance....If this happens..and it is likely to happen, (seen many many times) this will precede your first dance....

Not probably what you wanted to hear...sorry....

Peter

No! im astounded by this. i dont want to make light of your upset - but he sounds like a comedy sketch!

''yeah, i like to sing agadoo during dessert - its my speciality''

''thats not quite what we had in mind....''

''trust me. then i can do ymca for the first dance.....''

Thanks for all your replies guys! Some are making me laugh lol. I think I'd rather for fit the £180 rather than worrying about him on the wedding day!

Don't apologise Peter. That's a very interesting point, thank you.

Hahaha sorry I couldn't just read and run - this is hilarious! What a diva!!!!! Ditch him. This is your big day and you don't need to be upstaged by a weird singer who is definitely not going to be background music!

Sorry to hear this It may well be that your singer has never done a wedding breakfast before, doesn't sound too much like they know how it all works. Upping the volume slightly towards the end of the meal works well and people will often sing a long and even have a dance around before speeches BUT it's important at the start that volume is much lower and very much in the background. Not all singers want to showboat and be the centre of attention - it's YOUR day, sadly some very much do!

It's really important that you have a contract, or even a written statement saying exactly what all of your suppliers are providing you with. I have various package options - one of which is a wedding breakfast package - it lists exactly what I'll be doing and when I'll be doing it. Sadly there are lots of 'hobbyist' singers that do it more for fun than as a very important job. Not necessarily anything wrong with that, but it's so important to work for the good of the day as a whole - and to be doing exactly what the B&G want, and what you're being paid for - rather than what you enjoy / fancy doing.

I also hate to say it, and appreciate that this isn't helpful to you, but this professionalism often comes down to a difference in price. As well as having all the proper insurance and safety practices in place, the more expensive singers would have likely had a lot more experience of weddings, and supplied you with a proper schedule and contract. You'd all shudder if you knew how many phones calls I have from people who have been let down in one way or another, at the last minute, by the entertainment they have booked.

Hope you get it sorted one way or another and all the best for the day

James

I might be completely wrong but he sounds like an older guy to me. I don't think he sounds like he is being rude or obnoxious. I can understand you don't need the stress of it though. Good luck

Rather than cancelling him could you put him in a position where he chooses to cancel and therefore will have to refund you?

I'm suggesting you be as obnoxious as him. Put in writing that you find his desire to show boat at your wedding very worrying. You were clear when you booked him what was required and if he couldn't provide this he should have said so. You do not require him to sing your first dance - it may be his specialty but it's not his event and therefore what his specialty is is irrelevant. You're an adult and fully capable of deciding for yourself what and when your first dance will be and who will play the music to it. You want a guarantee that he will play at a suitably low level in the background and will not attempt to engage with your guests as they will be busy eating and chatting.

I think if you really put him in his place he is likely to cancel. This way you don't lose your money. Worth a try?

I agree with MrsR. I don't find him rude. He is just (strongly) suggesting - and you can say no.

Of course, it also depends on what your first dance song is.......it might be innappropriate or simply not his genre.....

Peter

Sounds like he wants to be the centre of attention at your wedding, rather than you and your husband!

I actually think it's quite odd that you'd want a rat pack singer during the wedding breakfast. People would want to chat and mingle and rat pack is not the kind of thing you would have on quietly in the background so I can see his point. He shouldn't have agreed to it in the first place though.

WSS ^^^

He shouldn't have agreed to it if he doesn't like the idea. He sounds like a plonker! Just tell him that you wish to cancel.

It's a shame for you, but maybe you'll find someone else? If i'm honest i'd think a bit more about the rat pack idea... For some reason i feel whoever would be doing that will want to be the centre of attention getting everyone up and dancing. IF that's not what you're looking for maybe rethink?

Wow thank you so much for your opinions and advice guys! I find hitched so helpful and comforting. What am I gonna do when I have no wedding planning lol.

Anyway back on subject. So the reason we picked a rat pack singer is because my h2b and my dad absolutely adore that music. I've definitely decided to cancel him now, we are going to have an Ipod playing in the background with the songs we wanted the singer to sing! I'm worried about emailing him as I know he is going to have something to say about it!

I'm just going to keep it brief and say sorry for the short notice but we no longer require your services for our wedding, therfore wish to cancel the booking. I understand I will lose the deposit.

I think I know exactly what you were envisaging MrsB88. Some background music to break the ice, get everyone relaxed and talking, get everyone warmed for speeches and maybe even having a sing a long, bit of interaction as your wedding breakfast draws to a close.

Rat Pack / Swing music during a wedding breakfast works so very well, it's what I do week in, week out - see my pic below Timing the singing sets and getting the volume right is key, it's very important to pitch it perfectly so everyone can hear but so it's not too intrusive. Then towards the end everyone normally has sing a long and it gets more interactive.

It's a shame as it sounds like your Dad and H2B would have loved it, but can see and understand why you've lost faith in the singer you've booked.

If you're looking for someone else to step in, send me a PM - I may be able to help out or send you in the direction of someone within your budget who will and I know will do exactly what you were hoping for.

James

So I emailed him on Monday to cancel him......He hasn't responded! Oops. Hope he doesn't still turn up on the day! Lol

OP, have you heard back from the singer yet?

No haven't heard anything back! I'm gping to resend the email tonight.