Babies?!

@ Sassi - fertility problems are something I regularly worry about, as I want it so much, i'd be worried it's not that easy, and i'd rather find out at 25 than at 35.

Saying that OH is only 20 and I want to give him some time too - we also need to time it right tour wise for my OH - the best plan for us would be if I was lucky enough to get pregnant during his tour leave in Feb/March 2012 otherwise the best possible time would be Feb/March 2014 as OH goes away again September 2013 and i'd hate to be pregnant with our 1st child while he is away!

I've had people saying "Ooh you next" for about 7 or 8 years now, but I have never felt ready. I fell pregnant 18 months ago but didn't realise I was pregnant until I lost the baby. My cousin gave birth a few months later and my auntie said to me when I was holding her baby "Ooooh, It'll be you next". It cut like a knife, she knew I'd just lost a baby yet still said it. I think sometimes people just say stuff without thinking and just assume everyone will have the same straightforward experience they had.

Already have one! and no more for me, i was skint for the first year off work and dont plan on doing it again!!

We have spoken about it. I am on the depo provera injection and it can take up to 2 years to get back to normal after coming off it, so I would quite like to come off it round about the time we get married but then I am worried I might get pregnant straight away when we both need us time. But then again I don't want to wait up to 2 years once we decide it's time.

I've always wanted a family, and so for me I reckon that once were married, to start trying straight away is the best plan for us! and following on from what someone else said, all the women I work with have issues with fertility, ones 36 and ones 26, so at 21 (22 this year) I would rather know now if there are going to be any problems with my fertility. Its the one thing im petrified of! Apart from having a ceasarian (sp) and not being there for my child as they grow up. I was pregnant last year but miscarried, yet didnt know until it had happened. My doctor said that around 90% of all first pregnancies end up like that, and the majority of the time the woman doesnt realise. which makes me feel better in some respects, that hopefully, when I do concieve everything will go to plan. Although I am really scared about having twins or triplets! Both sides of mine and OH's families have them and they have both skipped a generation! lol x

Little Madam - your are certainly in a unique situation with your OH being in the armed forces. Your first child / pregnancy together should be really special & shared with each other. I hope it works out for you both!

@ Panjita - how inconsiderate. I'd have cried or smacked her one. I know what you mean though, she wasnt deliberately tryin to hurt you but a bit of thought wouldnt go amiss. What an awful experience for you - i cant even imagine what that must be like.x

That's exactly happened to me. It was my first pregnancy too. It was so awful that I found out I had been pregnant at the same time I found out I no longer was and it took me a long time to come to terms with that.

It's so sad that this happens, and how often it happens too.

I lost a baby Nov 09, 3 days after finding out I was pg. It's amazing how badly you can miss something you never really had. I think about that baby everyday, especially now i'm pg, with my due date being just a couple of weeks before my angel babys first birthday.

I also feel guilty about being pg. I had to lose the one baby, to be having the one i'm carrying now.

Hope all those trying after their wedding have an easy and problem free journey. There will be plenty of baby dust over on BT.

My friend found out she was pregnant around the same time as I miscarried and she didn't tell me for quite a while (which I felt terrible about, she had been trying for a long time and should have been shouting it from the roof tops). It was difficult seeing her pregnancy develop and feeling that incredible sense of loss but I never felt the need to try again straight away, I am still changing my mind from week to week as to whether I am mother-material too which is weird because if things had been different I would have had a 9 month old baby now!

We plan to try straight after the wedding, if OH had his way i'd be off the pill now but i'm not taking any risks. I dont want to be pregnant on HM or the wedding day as for one there's no room in my fishtail dress and two i would be able to drink!

I've been on the pill now for almost 15 years, i worry that i wont conceive or it will take a long time but only time will tell. I'm 30 now and feel the time is right once i'm married.

OH said the other day he would love to start trying now - but I dont want to risk being pregnant on my WD either! so comprimised that I would get the implant out the monday after the wedding. x

Haha! YES!!!!! OH is finally coming around to the idea!! We are moving house in a few weeks so it's all systems go, house, wedding, BABIES!

My SIL announced she was pg a few days after my m/c. I tried to be happy for her, but just felt jealous. Sadly, she lost her baby too, but is now pregnant, and due this month.

I've never had a maternal bone in my body. If I didn't have my first son when i did, I would never have had kids. I thought he was going to be my one and only. When i had my m/c I was adamant i wanted no more kids, as I couldn't face going through that loss again. But a couple of months after, once i'd healed a bit, we decided to try as it took losing one, to make me realise how badly i actually wanted another baby.

Still not overly maternal, as a general rule I don't like kids, apart from my own, which I had to get over when I got with my OH as he had 2 kids.

We won't be trying for kids at any point, H2B has 2 from a previous relationship and they have made me realise I am far too selfish to have children and am not willing to sacrifice certain things in my life to be able to have them. We only have them every other weekend and in the school holidays and sometimes I find that too much !! And H2B is more than happy to just have the 2.

This may change in the future, although I doubt it, and we are both in our 30's so not particularly young to be leaving it for too long if we did change our minds.

It drives me mad though when people ask us how long we are going to wait until after the wedding to have a baby, and we tell them we are not planning to have children and they react as though we are committing some awful crime !!!! Dont get me wrong, I like kids, I absolutely dote on my 3 year old nephew, but I like the fact that I can enjoy time with him and then hand him back to his parents and carry on with my carefree life !!

I have been broody since my bridesmaid gave birth to my godson about 2 yrs ago but wanted to wait until after the wedding - my OH already has a child but wants more, not as desperate as me but he doesn't get excited about things until they are actually happening - typical man haha!! I want to stop the pill straight after the wedding but we still haven't sold our house and this one doesn't have room for a baby so may have to take that into consideration but I might just go for it and deal with it if and when it happens haha! I do turn 30 13 months after the wedding and wanted my first before 30....so that gives me 4 months to get pregnant; no pressure then haha!

We'll be 29 (me) and 35 (him) after wedding, honeymoon and our party at home (after wedding abroad) and I don't want to be pregnant during any of those events, but we both want to start trying soon afterwards. I'm planning on coming off the pill around 6 months before the wedding just to give my body a chance to recover after what will have been 13 years on the pill.

I was thinking about doing this as I have been on and off the pill for about 12 years but I suffer from bad 'time of the months' and would (with my luck) be on during the wedding and/or honeymoon so I will have to wait until both of these are over!! a friend of mine tho came off the pill and got pregnant that same month so it can happen.

I always wanted to wait until I was married to have a baby & OH always wanted to have a child before wedding so they could be there. I changed my mind & we've now got a 2 year old and while I'd dearly love to try for another straight after the wedding, our little boy was born very prematurely - was practically life & death for the both of us at the time. There's just no way I can risk going through that again for a while. And we need to buy a bigger house before we can even consider it.

I'm sooooooo broody though and have severe bump envy whenever I see pregnant women, One Born Every Minute makes me even worse. Must be something to do with the fact that I didn't manage to get a big bump first time rounds as little one was born so early!

We will be trying straight away ? I'm so excited about it all I can't wait to have a baby ?

I was also considering doing this but don't want to risk having pain and stuff on honeymoon! OH wants to start trying straight away (as I'm almost 30 and have PCOS) and would like to start sooner arther than later,in case we have problems, but I'm not sure. I probably should, but don't feel ready yet. Decisions decisions!

It's tricky. At the moment I am still struggling to get on the career ladder that I want to be on, and although it sounds selfish, I still want a few more years of "us time" before bringing kids into the picture.

On the other hand, there's a fairly significant chance we'll have difficulty conceiving (OH had cancer and chemo last year) so I don't want to leave it too late as I know how long and how heartbreaking fertility treatment can be. So currently the plan is to wait until the end of the lifetime of my current implanon (Sept 2013) and then we'll have a serious think about it. Certainly won't be straight after the wedding though!

Every time I go for my repeat pill, I ask the doctors what they think (I normally have a different one - don't keep asking the same doc the same question!) and they all say that there's no need to come off until you're ready to start trying. My mum actually fell pregnant with both me and my sister straight after coming off. But personally, I just want to get my cycles settled down and work out the lengths etc. I'd only really had 4 years worth of periods before going on the pill and that was 12 years ago so I really can't remember whether my cycles were long or short, regular or not etc.

Tick, tock, tick, tock... That's my biological clock ticking away. I'll be 39 when I get married. OH will be 38 and I think we need to try ASAP. Neither of us have kids and would like them.

You have no idea how hard it will be just by helping out with your friend's child.

What will you do if you full pregnant after you've graduated? Put your plans for your future career on hold?

We intend to start trying even a couple of weeks BEFORE the wedding as I don't see myself lucky enough to fall pregnant immediately. I am 38 for a start, and it would be my first child. I am also diabetic so before I am allowed to get pregnant i have to ensure my blood sugar levels have been stable and well-controlled for at least 6 months. So...fingers crossed!

Thanks - plan is to get lots of practise in looking after the nieces / nephews and god-daughter if all else fails for a few years!

From my lurking on BT, I understand that some women experience hyper-fertility after coming off the pill. My Mom certainly did - fell pregnant with me 1st month of trying after coming off the pill.

HH watching someone else look after a child is very very diffirent to the total life change that comes from having your own.

I found her comment very naive...

Umm, i read that comment and took it to mean that just by watching someone with a baby has made her realise how hard it will be....like without seeing all of the

other stuff tht goes with it? iyknwim?

I'm not sure about babies yet...my oh is 3 years older...he will be 30 when we get married and wanted a baby before we got married but i dont feel ready yet,

i also want to be more financially stable, i must admit the thought of it petrifies me!

As a part time mummy I am amazed at how much goes into it! Its one of the reasons I dont want kids myself as its so "all consuming" [if thats even the right word] currently I am too selfish for that.

Totally agree - I watch my sister in laws struggle every weekend but my MIL always comments how I have so much patience with my niece/nephew as I don't have to deal with them every single day. So true! I also don't have to get up to them in the night, they wake me, but I am nicely tucked up in bed and not dealing with it.

I'm knackered after having the kids for 6 hours - I know enough to say I respect my SILS (and other Moms out there) for the hard job but I can't imagine what having them full time would be like, but even so... Bring it on!!