Babies at wedding?!

I'm in a similar situation and know my OHs brother and sister in law wouldn't take them home in the evening! I know its going to cause rows. I'm at a loss with what to do

Well my OH's sister suggested booking a holiday cottage at the venue so she can put our niece and the new baby to bed and come back to the party!! This is my worst nightmare, and I think I will have heart palpitations if I know they are down the road on their own! obviously I can't say anything, but I think I may get OH to tell his mum this plan as she will not let her do that!

For the ceremony and daytime I think that babies under 9 mnths who may well be BF cannot be excluded if you want the mothers to come.

An evening drinks reception is no place for a baby though so you could word the invitations to say this or perhaps provide a babysitting/creche service at the venue if it's a hotel.

Agree with this though. At least, not for the type of evening do I wanted.

Remember at the end of the day its your wedding and that what i am about to write is my personal preference...

We have 30 kids under 12 at our wedding - I believe that weddings are the joining of families so why not envolve them all... I dont mind if one of the babies stats gurggling /crying as its the parents respons8ibility to look after them, and i wlould not want to alainate one or both parents because they have a sprog.

One of the "guests" does not even have a name yet, letalone seen light of day - we are hopeing they arrive before the ceremony

But that is my thoughts - also almost all of our friends and family have multiplied so its all or nothing

This was a really difficult one for us, as almost all our friends had children and at least four of them are our godchildren and old enough to know we're getting married and want to come. Plus we're getting married away from where we live so most people will have to travel. There are three as-yet-unborn babies who will be invited as well. OH wasn't happy and doesn't really want babies there but if they are breastfeeding still I think it's impossible not to have them really. On the plus side our best man and his soon to be wife have already decided their baby (due in Sept) will be staying with her parents for the weekend so they can enjoy the wedding. Hoping some of the other guests might take this approach as well!

It's your wedding so you can do what you like however, allowing your niece but telling others to leave kids at home might be an issue. I would just be prepared for it though.

Babies won't cost you any extra, I think I would leave it up to the parents to decide, I've taken my four children to many family parties, one as young as four months old. They are still alive and not damaged in any way. Mine just slept through any noise!

Have I read that right?? She is proposing booking a house and leaving the two kids there alone while she returns to the party? You absolutely can and should say something about that!

You are perfectly within your rights to say you don't want kids there, but you then have to be prepared that people won't be able to come.

I was wondering the same - just say the words Madeleine McCann to her and that should get into her head what you mean!

And if that doesn't work, how about the words 'I'm calling social services'.

Slight hijack to prevent further hijacking here - I have started a "debate" post re: leaving children, over on OT, if anyone wants to join in.

I think it depends on the parents of the children.

I would like to hope that they would be sensible enough to try to hush a baby if they start to grumble during the ceremony or remove if the baby really isn't happy.

Some may decide to leave hte baby behind anyway if they aren't travelling far.

We haven't invited children but will have cousin's 2 year old there also will be having a quiet word with close friends who will have very young ones to say they are welcome to bring their babies to the ceremony as we understand it may be difficult to leave them behind (although this only applies to 1 or 2 friends at the moment).

Originally we were only having family children to our wedding and the youngest of these is 12, however since being engaged 3 of our friends have gotten pregnant and were all due within 3 months of the wedding, this includes my MOH whose baby is due 3 weeks before the wedding. We live quite a way for all of these friends and there is no way we can ask them to leave the babies at home as they are all so little so we have now said that babies under 3 months are welcome but no other little ones (next youngest child amongst our friends is 10 months and the parents are quite happy to leave him with his grandparents overnight) everyone we know has been totally fine with this. All of these babies will be with us all day from the ceremony to the evening reception. We are having a quiet room and a private nursing room as well so hopefully all will be well. It was a choice of either doing this or some of our closest friends not being there for our big day.

We had a child free wedding apart from a six week old baby, as we preferred that our friends came than not at all. She didn't make a peep!

To be honest a nine month old is different from a newborn (who won't even need a place or feeding). We left our four month old for the day for a wedding, my mum had him down the road, but if you are expecting people to travel you can't expect them to not bring their babies to the ceremony, what are they meant to do with them until the evening?

If you are expecting people to leave their newborns then expect that they won't come at all, that's the choice you have to make.

Your sister cannot leave her children by themselves!!

Thank you for your input ladies. We both know we would rather have everyone there than say make them choose between not coming and leaving their babies at home.

A few friends have already said that they will have their parents on standby for dropping off and collecting so that is up to them.

I also see on the OT forum there is now a thread regarding leaving children alone. You can all be assured I have thoroughly dobbed OH's sister in to her mum and they will be not be left alone at any point!

Just to be clear: that thread wasn't to pick at this thread, it just sparked a moment of pondering on my part.

That is how it was taken It is very interesting to see peoples opinions on this matter.

We are only having children of immediate family at the wedding! I know of one friend who is desperately trying for a baby with his wife! I've told him should she have a baby before the wedding they'd be more than welcome! (This child will be my long awaited god child).

However wont be having any other children or babies... Fortunately I don't have any friends with young babies or who are pregnant at present... But I don't see myself or OH changing our stance on this!

I am going to be leaving it up to my friends, one has just given birth, the other is due later in the year. They are very sensible so I am happy with whatever they would like to do. I've told them in no uncertain terms though to take their child out if they start crying screaming etc.

I was going to have a no child wedding when I got engaged back in feb 2010 then in September 2010 I got pregnant. LOl

now my son is 2 and everyone has multiplied so babies and children are now there. I'm putting a rule down thou that if a baby/child is kicking off the parents need to deal with them and take them out.

I also think a time limit maybe good? No kids after 9pm? Not sure yet..

I completely understand where you are coming from, we will have lots of babies and toddlers at our wedding and although I'm slightly worried about the atmosphere in the evening and whether my friends will have a good time or not dancing along to the band we have booked we won't be excluding children from the wedding and reception. My personal opinion is if they are your friends you'll want them there and if you exclude kids you run the risk of them not being able to come and you wouldn't want that. Some of our friends have already said they will ask their parents to collect their babies from the venue in the evening so they can let their hair down and have a good time, but I understand if you are getting married far from home this may not be possible. I think you invite kids, you need to invite them all otherwise it's not fair. It was lovely of my friends to offer this, but of course others at our wedding won't be lucky enough to be able to do this.

On the note of kids in church, at my close friends wedding her grandad had a stroke in the church, an ambulance was called and stretchered him away,family crying and obviously wasn't nice for the bride who was worried about her grandad but the service had to carry on regardless. This does put things into perspective (re kids crying in church) and makes you realise the most important thing about a wedding is for everyone to be healthy, happy and present so they can share your special day. You'll have a fab time even with children there I'm sure, at the end of the day children are the parents responsibility which leaves you to enjoy celebrating your new 'Mrs' status. At weddings I've been to when a child has cried the mum has taken them to the back of church and this has been ok.

On the up side, my views about having children at a wedding...won't it be lovely to look back at your wedding photos in years to come with your god children and close friends children when they have grown up to say "look at you there - that was our wedding, look how small and cute you look" you never know you and your husband may one day be lucky enough to see them get married and share the experience with your children/ grand children.

I wouldn't worry too much, just relax and have a good time! Things will go wrong but don't worry about it on the day, and nothing can ruin it. You would think that the grandad of the bride having a stroke and being taken to hospital would ruin a wedding...it didn't. They got married and although upset when it happened had a brilliant time for the rest of the day (like he would have wanted them to). In the end their wedding was memorable for other reasons and we had one of the best parties I've ever been to.

This is just my own opinion of course : ) x x

I sympathise. I think so many parents don't take their kids out making a noise. So rude and disrespectful.

They are the same parents who let their kids run around restaurants bumping into tables and stuff.... my patience does not last long with these.

That's awful about your friends Grandad, how sad! And you are quite right it does but things into perspective!

Thank you xxx