Babies before or after wedding?

We started trying 3 months before our wedding, and fell pregnant straight away. I had sickness from 6-13 weeks (13 weeks landing on the wedding day itself) and had no motivation to do anything wedding related, and put on weight on my boobs and waist so my dress had to be altered. I wouldn't change being pregnant for the world and I know how lucky I am to have fallen straight away, however if I had to do it again I might have delayed it until after the wedding.

However, I am in my mid-twenties with no health problems, so delaying ttc wouldn't have been an issue for me, however it might be an issue for people in other circumstances.

Good luck!

We had a similar discussion. We decided (for babies and many other reasons) to bring the wedding forward so planned it in 4 months. Which was unbelievably doable and we had a magical wedding. I didn't particularly want to be pregnant on the day for a variety of reasons but had it happened then I think I'd have been so happy to be pregnant I wouldn't have cared, but it wouldn't have been ideal (personal choice, I imagine I'll get morning sickness and I'm cr*p with being unwell!). But we didn't want to keep putting off so planned a quick wedding, we were really fortunate that neither of us have particularly extravagant tastes and budget well and didn't have any firm ideas of what we wanted so got everything we could have hoped for and more in our budget, we were also really unfortunate that although we had an initial budget of £4.5K with support from family, which was totally unexpected, and some saving from us we got the budget doubled!

We've just booked our honeymoon (from some really generous gifts) and have decided to start trying on that, so I can scuba dive and do all the active things I want to do there which I couldn't if pregnant, which is in 14 weeks :0!

At the end of the day it is totally personal choice, it may takes months or years for me to conceive, or I may not conceive at all. I'm getting on in my years (baby making wise) so you never know. If you want it now, then do it now!

You could very feasibly have a baby before getting married in 2016 if you're not fussed on being married before kids. I've got two littles and I'm actually glad I didn't wait, but I'm not really traditional and was super broody

Honestly I wouldn't want to be pregnant at my wedding either. You could feel terrible with morning sickness, bloated blah blah blah. Don't get me wrong, I actually loved being pregnant but I'm glad I get to feel my best and have a few drinks on my wedding day!

Its not easy to get pregnant and its not really controllable

if you wait until after the wedding and find out theres problems you could be waiting years (wedding is 2 years + 1 year of trying befor qualifying for help + 1 year of tests + up to 3 year waiting lists for ivf)

or

you could be exceptionally lucky and fall pregnant instantly (as mentioned above morning sickness and/or a newborn cause a lot of stress)

or

you could be lucky enough to fall pregnant and unlucky enough to not carry it, 1/4 pregnancies end in miscarrage and many people who have 1 miscarrage go on to have more

what you have to bare in mind is life isnt a fairytale so you can plan the perfect announcement on your wedding day but in reality there is so many variables its unlikely to happen...

would you delay the wedding if you have a newborn? (no sleep, no money, having to feed/change constantly)

could you stand there trying not to throw up on the vicar from morning sickness?

could you stand there knowing you had a baby(ies) who is not sat with you in the seat you planned for them?

could you stand there knowing theres a problem and thinking about treatment and how you may never get a baby?

or would you hate yourself afterward for having waited until after to find you had issues and wasting 2 years?

every outcome has issues, only you could answer the questions and make a choice

also mid 20s and no health issues mean nothing... im mid 20s and healthy but infertile as are 5 of my friends, its the thing no one talks about but half of infertilie women are under 35

Im not traditional at all but for me personally I never considered having kids before marriage. We see marriage as a serious commitment to then be followed up with starting a family, and we want to enjoy being married and go on far flung adventures together before having kids. For example we want to go to Japan for 2 weeks for our first anniversary as a married couple, which is difficult enough without kids! I think a lot depends on age too, its rare to fall pregnant quickly so if you do want kids before, say, mid thirties, you have to allow time for this. I'll be 28 when we get married in april so we discussed trying just over a year after that to allow plenty of time to try and have ivf if needed.