Baby plans after wedding

Not us, I'm done with making babies! I've had no sleep for the last 7 years and in September the last one finally goes to school so I'm no longer paying the equivalent of a mortgage on a 5 bedroom house on childcare fees each month!

That's what puts me off Icklefee! I CANNOT cope with lack of sleep so I'd be a nightmare, not to mention childcare fees! That's why my plan is to have two at least 4 years apart, so by the time I go back to work with the second, the first will be in school. Couldn't physically afford to have more than one child in nursery at once!

We'll try on honeymoon. We already have four children from previous marriages - two boys each. I think we're mad but I'm also very very excited at the thought of having a child with my OH. He's an amazing father.

(Not fussed about the sex before anyone asks if we want a girl!)

Let me second this. I can see myself being one of those women who goes insane and takes out the whole family if I miss out on sleep. Especially as I'd have to continue working full-time too to be able to afford it in the first place.

I never wanted kids, not in the least maternal really.....was never one to coo and gaga over babies. However I do know have 2 kids (almost 12 and almost 3), both conceived in a moment of drunken passion (they have the same dad and im still with him in case anyone thought I was a tart lol).

I still don't coo and gaga and hate having their friends around the house, awful dealing with other peoples kids! I love my boys with all my heart and do not regret them now they are here but I still live my life...I go out when I want to and I ensure that my kids are independent too.........I may not be perfect mommy material who runs round constantly and goes without so the kids can have everything (much to the chargin of many family members!) but they are both clean, fed, well mannered, loved and clever (the eldest is on gifted and talented register).

It annoys me that if you say anything against motherhood when you reach a certain age (Im 42!) then, like you Skeptical, the sharp intake of breath is unbelievable!!!

Do you know what, this is what I aspire to! Thank you. I feel a bit the same about having kids as I do about getting married; that you'll suddenly be expected to be all 'wifey' and 'mumsy' and the whole idea leaves me cold. Yours is the best defence for having kids I've heard! I will not go to coffee mornings, nor mum and baby groups or starting baking f**king cupcakes...I will raise a KICK ASS MONSTER AWESOME KID by being independent and feisty and if she is a girl she will NOT wear pink and be referred to as a princess (unless she desperately wants to), she will be encouraged to learn science and maths and engineering and get a job as an astronaut!

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I had 3 under school age at one point, it would have actually cost me more money than I could earn to work! I still find that school holidays I'm basically only working to pay for childcare but at least for the other 38 weeks of the year I see a little bit of my wages. I do adore my babies though and it worked well for us having them all so close in age. Having 3 boys was also a stroke of genius on my wombs part.... hand-me-downs save us a fortune in clothing them!

Thank you. You have made my day! I do have a lot of critics but I don't care.....I am not a yummy mummy or part of a click, have never been to a coffee morning or toddler group and I cannot bake to save my life! My childminder does the toddler groups and the kids nans do the baking!

Independent and feisty is good....as long as they know they are loved, have respect for others, good manners and clean pants then the job is a good un ?

This!

Lol I banned oh from coming near me the past 6months just in case!

I would love kids some time soon, just have lots of plans the next year or so, but can't really progress with work until the sprogs have come along....

I reckon a year or two. Depends if we get the house first and how we go on saving for that. I'm not too bothered about getting a house first but I know it will be really difficult to save with a baby!

Me three. The thought of having babies makes me feel ill.

Before the wedding I thought that we would at least be trying by now but we are about to celebrate our second wedding anniversary and we haven't started. I love it being just the two of us, we will one day hopefully have kids, maybe in a couple of years.

Difficult! I'll be 30 when we get married and I really wanted kids by now already but wanted to get married first (not really for tradition, just didn't want to have to look after a baby all day!)

so the plan is to start straight away but I'm in two minds about it as I'd love another year or two to go on amazing holidays (now we have money). Also we want to move across the country at some point and you have to work with a company for a while before you can claim maternity benefits in full, so the question is do we move before or after having kids. On the other hand you never know how long it'll take to get pregnant and I'd hate to put it off and then find it takes years after that and we're too old! All my friends have kids and it would be nice for them to play together.

H2B wants a 'honeymoon baby' and is really pushing to ttc as soon as we are married, I'm a natural worrier and worried about affording a baby though. I guess I'll just have to think that at least I won't have a wedding to pay for anymore as I'd love a kiddie!!

Besides, could take us months and months to get preggo.

I am in the 'never want kids' camp and it drives me crazy how it is expected of me to have children once I am married. I would chose cats over babies any day!

However, My OH does want them, and although he has known from the start of our relationship that it is not something I see in my future he is hoping that I will change my mind.

We are going to try straight away and when it happens it happens. We have been together 4 years and have a house together already, cant wait to have little ones running around.

My friend is in the same boat as you. She doesn't want kids and he does. He is aware she doesn't want them for a while (if at all) and she's planning on keeping him occupied with a puppy after they get married! Haha!

A puppy would be great! I figure as long as he has something to take to the park on a sunny day he'll be happy ?

We've been married a year and bought a house with my mum and agreed to stay for five years before selling (to hopefully make some money on it!) so we have three years left for that.

I'd like to wait a year after that (so four years maybe) ill be 27 and H 28. Although we've discussed trying in a year to two years so we would have a baby when we moved (if I got pregnant without problems anyway) who knows!!

We've been married a year and 9 months now, but I'm not in a suitable career position to do it yet without severely damaging my prospects post-babies. I'm not totally career obsessed, but I love what I do and in order to make progress I need to stick with it for just a little longer and get on the next rung of the ladder before children are an option that won't really screw things up. We also still don't own a house, and I would like to buy somewhere before having kids.

I am getting increasingly broody, especially with all the OT crowd getting knocked up and various friends starting to have kids now, but I think we need to wait another year or so before it'd be feasible. It might take a while too, so I'm not getting my hopes up that I'll immediately get pregnant.

There is something in the water I'm telling you.

Hell yes! (and I have 2 already).

OH wanted us to start TTC right away but I managed to convince him to wait a 'bit'. Turns out my idea of that was within 5 years, his idea of it was within a year. Oops.

With my new role at school being a 1 year temp contract I def don't want to fall pregnant this year, I want to establish myself and get my contract made perm first so I feel more secure in leaving for a few months' ML.

I do feel left out of the Otters' now though!

No! never! OH has kids already from his previous relationship and isn't really keen to have more. He had his first at 20 who is now 13 and doesn't really want to spend his whole life bringing up children. I am not that bothered about having children or being a mum. I get plenty of child time my classes at school and OH's children. If I were desperate to be a mum maybe it would be different but I love my OH enough to forego the children and look forward to us growing old together and then there will be grandchildren- I hope.

Everyone keeps asking me oooh so will you start trying for children straight away and look horrified when I say no, we are not having more children. Then they always say 'but don't you want children of your own?' I have a great relationship with my future step kids and I love them to bits. Maybe not the same as a parent loves their child as it is a different bond, but it is enough for me.

I'll have just turned 30 and he'll be 31 when we get married. We'll have lived together for over three years by the time we get married and neither of us have kids, unless you count the dog (I kind of do!). We both want kids, and we're just gonna stop with the contraception and see what happens.

Helenia are you an Occupational Therapist (I don't know any other uses for 'OT' but I'm sure there's lots!)? If you are, do you happen to be waiting to be a Band 6 before you try for a baby? I ask because my bro in law is an OT and says literally all the girls go off on maternity as soon as they get band 6! I'm in a public sector organisation where there's very similar grading to NHS, and I hope to be of the same level before I have a baby too!

Ot stands for 'off topic' it's the area of hitched where us bitter old marrieds (with selected brides) hang out.

pop over and see us- its fun!

I think by OT in this case they mean people who post in the 'Off Topic' thread about stuff that isn't to do with wedding planning. I might be wrong though. Can't cope with all the acronyms myself!

Sorry, OT in this case means Off Topic - another section on Hitched where lots of us old marrieds hang out. I do work for the NHS but I'm a doctor not an OT, and I want to wait until I get a registrar job before getting pregnant!

We are not planning but we also aren't trying not to have a baby either!

Ive been on the pill for 8years now and due to health issues with raised Blood pressure my GP has been trying to get me off but I've been resisting!

My OH is now also stressing me out regarding the same issue so I've agreed to come off the pill in April, wedding will be In June so hoping nothing happens before then!

i honestly thought I would have children before i turned 30 being a midwife I'm awfully conscious of increasing risk associated with childbirth and pregnancy the older we get so definitely keen to pop at least one out before I turn 30.

my friends as now been married for four years and his wife has been trying to get pregnant for 3of those years, it's been a stressful time for them and I really want to avoid the 'stress' of trying! I'm just going with the flow and waiting for nature to take its course!

There was me thinking I was being super insightful! Feel silly now! I never venture away from the wedding planning forum.

We we're the same (well 2.5 years) and got married April, had IVF May, started injections the day we came back from Honeymoon..How romantic...

Well I am now very cautiously 5 week pregnant...I'm hoping those that don't know think we had a magic Honeymoon baby haha

x