Baby plans after wedding

Marry in September and my implant comes out in November. After that, anything goes!! OH though wants to fall pregnant (he thinks you can literally pick a day) in the new year - purely so our children are the eldest in the school year.....

Congratulations !

We were done adding to the population before we were married. We don't want any more small people, 4 is enough. Plus, my H is 10 years older than me, we don't want to spend the rest of our lives bringing kids up. By the time I am 40, my youngest will be 15. He'll be old enough to please himself, and I get my life back.

I never wanted kids at all, but had a happy accident when I was 17.

Despite having kids, I am still "cool", and "interesting". My 9 yr old tells me so, all the time. Ha.

Ooh I like this thread ... its really interesting to hear of everyone's plans !!

We're in no real rush to have Children we are getting married in 2015 and i would imagine we will wait around 3/4 years before we start trying for a family ... we currently live in a flat which we want to keep and rent out and move into a new house ourselves so we will do this shortly after the wedding ( Hopefully) then after that will have as many holidays as physically possible until we think about kids x

I've been married a year and have not been/am not upduffed and plan to never have children. I don't like them.

No...never ever ever ever. Babies give me the creeps and I'm far tooo selfish to have kids. Fortunately my OH doesn't care one way or the other and I've had no pressure from either of our parents. All my friends have kids and they are very welcome to them... I want to build a kit car and have a dog!

We made a decision at the start of the year, baby or marriage and chose latter.

I have been advised to have kids by 30 and we have decided we want one straight away as OH does not want to be an old dad (only be 32 mind)

Who knows may even fall pregnant before the wedding you just cant plan these things sometimes

I love this post

You're not silly, I never understand the terms either! Also, to contribute to the thread we are trying straight away. A big reason for us marrying is so we can start trying for children. It is me who wanted to wait till we're married.

What I find weird are the comments from everyone at work who are literally telling me they are going to be watching my stomach like hawks!? Not only does that make me uncomfortable as I'll probably put weight on after the wedding as I've been trying to be strict(er!), it also feels like a lot of pressure. I'm trying to ignore it and say we're waiting a while but find it all a bit weird!

Another one to join the NEVER camp! OH and I love each other and our dogs very much. We love our holidays and independence and are so hilariously not maternal/paternal! ?

As a child I never played mummys and daddys with babies and I am not planning on starting as an adult. Thank you Hitched members for making me realise I am not a monster or an ogre for feeling like this! The looks I get when I tell people we are not planning on having children is terrifying! ?

Nope don't want them never had- I like taking friends kids on days out and stuff but kids of my own have never been on my to do lists of life.. I work in a nursery and therefore some people assume I want to have kids cos I work with them.. im quite happy with my cat. oh on the other hand would love to be a dad but I told him hell no-never in the beginning ?

Leni-lw I work with kids too and I definitely think that adds to the expectations! I try to explain that it is because I AM a big kid not because I want one!!!!

That's so exciting! Congratulations!!

Maybe a bit controversial but if we wanted a baby we would just have one (obviously if nature lets us). Wedding is next year, we see it as the wedding is a sign of our commitment and love , and starting a family as a seperate thing. I would like time to be Mrs and Mr for a while. In short we aren't just getting married to have children, it because we want to. Each to their own I know there are people far more traditional than we are.

Until quite recently, I'd been working on the assumption we'd have kids a year or so after getting married. But then I had a minor epiphany while checking Facebook while very hungover one Sunday morning, and all my friends had been up for hours with their kids, cleaning up sick, changing nappies, taking them to parties, doing supermarket shops etc. I realised that I'm just not prepared to change my lifestyle enough to fit a kid in! Discussed it with my OH and he was pretty relaxed either way, so at the moment the plan is either no kids or kids in the very very distant future. We're 28 & 29 so a few years left to dither ?

Im pretty sure everyone else here sees marraige exactly the same way as you! No one said they were waiting to get married to start a family!

I guess it jut something people naturally assume you would plan to do if you don't already have children!

I've been with my MR for 7years now we planned to have a baby this year before getting married... I got a new job and had to put planning in hold! In that space of time we then decided to get married and out of fear of being pregnant or have a newborn baby at our wedding all baby plans were put on hold!

I suppose I more or less said that is why we're marrying and I can understand why people would find it weird. I just want to be married when I have children, means a lot to me and he wants to be with me, wants children, wants marriage...I don't know, it is just the way we're doing it. We've been together since we were teenagersand see marriage being the next stage in our lives

I think saying you are having a baby as soon as you are married means you are waiting to get married before you have a baby, I had no opinion on it just answering the question. My answer was in reference to me and my partner not other people.

You just gave an opinion, and nothing is wrong with that!

i disagree with you, and even if that's the case there is nothing wrong with waiting to get married before having children. It doesn't change the meaning of marriage in the slightest.

I've been lurking for a few months, but thought i'd reply to this thread as it's very close to my heart. ?

We got married in Dec and thought we'd try straight away. I'll be 40 next month so thought we'd get a wiggle on as it could take ages. We moved house in April and I got pg that month. ? Shock & surprise all round! (Due 13th Jan 2014 if all goes well)

Kinda ruined our delayed honeymoon though in May as my morning sickness kicked in then & I spent the week feeling sick & not enjoying the half board one bit. (still feeling sick now too...bleurgh)

Got my first scan next week, so everything crossed all is well. Good luck all those of you who want to try or are trying. Life has a funny way of working itself out. xx

I say you said it in one...enjoy your first year being married...the bliss...the you time, then kiss goodbye to sleep ha ha! Just think what a fun year you're going to have

Ah ImagineIt that is so exciting! Great news too and fingers crossed for your scan.

This is such an interesting post - I will be just 30 when I get married in December but my OH will be nearly 34 - he is really hoping that we'll be TTC straight away but I still feel too selfish! Reasons to go for it - I know 30's not old but I have polycystic ovaries so it could take a while...and I don't want to leave it til mid-30s then find that I have loads of problems....also I think my parents would love to have grandkids and spend as much time with them as possible while they're still young and fit....also I tend to find children quite annoying and am really worried this won't change with my own (and a bit too

BUT I have just got the job of my dreams and would like a bit of time to enjoy it - as well as a bit of time to enjoy being married before my life changes for good...

Any mums on here please advise - do you suddenly wake up one morning and know you want kids?? Or do you just think it's better to get on with it?!

So exciting hearing everyone's plans! Wishing you all the best of luck in TTC & pregnancy. :-)

We are now under a year to go till the wedding and I have become EXTREMELY maternal! But I do want to wait till after the wedding & honeymoon, think we will go down the route of just let life takes its course after we are married.

I will be 28 when we tie the knot but my other half is 10 years older than me and doesn't want to be an old dad, he already has a son who will be 13 when we marry. I don't really think of him as a step son....but he keeps saying that's what I will be so as long as he is happy that's the main thing! We get on really well so I/we are really lucky and he is desperate for a baby brother (not so keen on sister!). I keep telling him I have a dress to fit in to!

xx

We'd said for a while that we'd start trying straight after the wedding. I was 29 and H was 35. Not exactly past it, but there were no guarantees it'd happen straight away, so I wanted to give ourselves plenty of time. We owned our own home, were settled in our jobs so there were no financial/practical reasons to wait.

Of course, we'd have loved to have gone on a few more big holidays but I don't think there's ever a "right" time to have a baby.

I wouldn't consider myself particularly maternal. I don't really like other people's kids and my two nieces drive me crazy sometimes, but I couldn't imagine myself NOT having them if that makes sense. I'm still quite selfish, enjoy my lie ins, enjoy spontaneous social plans etc but like I said, there's no "right" time to have one.

I didn't actually make a conscious decision, it just happened.... and then happened again.... by the 3rd time I realised what was causing it! I never said I didn't want kids but I also never said I did. Like you I have pcos and was prepared that if I did start trying it may take a while and that there were no guarantees so I wasn't really prepared to put that pressure on myself. As for finding children quite annoying.... they're even more annoying when they're your own, but they are lovely. Sometimes.

We won't be trying for kids until at least 3 years after the wedding. We aren't getting married so that we can start making babies and the closer it's got, the more we've realised we would like some more time just the two of us ?, we will both be 22 when we marry so plenty of time to do what we want still! I start a very intensive training programme this year which is 4 years long, which is another reason why we've decided to wait.

OMG this in every sense of the word! All my mum ever goes on is my having kids and secretly my OH's parents are desperate too although I don't know why as they both already have grandchildren! My OH would love kids soon too but I am the same and really don't know if I do want them. If I fell pregnant by accident then fine, I would have the baby and be perfectly ok with this. However, I am just not sure that I want to make the decision to take that step when I am not sure it is what I want. I work with kids, I love being an auntie and my OH has a child who I think is lovely but other than that I am just not sure I want to make the decision to take 100% responsibility for someone else. The difference is though that I tell people this, they just don't seem to believe me!!!

Thought I would pop a little reply on here.

We will be trying after wears married, not too the extent where everything revolves around me getting pregnant as I feel it can add more stress and make you less likely. However wont be preventing l

We already have one little boy who will be three when we marry, I ideally wanted a sibling for him around the age of 2/3 so hopefully

I will be 2 months off turning 35 when we get married so starting a family is definitely on the cards. However we do need to move into a house first plus oh brother is getting married in Australia in September 2015 so I'm not entirely sure when exactly as yet!

Exciting (to me!), 'secret' news.... We've had our predding so legally are now married, so we're already cracking on with the baby-making. Lol. Didn't see any reason to wait until next Saturday. I'm very excited, even though I know I am not best-placed to have the luck we hope for

Well we're a bit late with this one as by the time we're married we'll have been together over 10 years & our little boy will be 4 So glad he'll be present at our wedding and our page boy too
I was told the chances of me having children were very slim and we always thought it wouldn't happen, til one day I fainted outside (embarrassing) and my mum suggested I take a test, and found out I was 8 weeks pregnant I'd ideally love another child and really want one soon so hoping it'll happen after our wedding (ideally so I can get into a dress lol) as we don't want our son to be an only child or ever get lonely..really would love a brother or sister for him so will see what happens, if not then we'll still be grateful for our little miracle xx

We've been married 4months on Tuesday and would love to have a family soon but we have to move house first so that has to be our priority at the moment. We are insanely broody right now but I suspect that is partly related to wanting something we can't have, and that actually once we've moved we won't actually rush straight into trying.