Back off, girls- I saw him first

Oh my! i want him!

I have my own hair, and speak english fluently (though not sure if I speak it with advanced fluency).

ETA but I've never been a prostitute, so that might be a mark against me ?

This has been posted on here before I think? Either that, or it was a very similar site by another bloke.?

Oh dear...... can you imagine two of them??? ?

Waaaah! That chin! My best bits:

"She loves others unconditionally, meaning that even if they impose a "condition" of rejecting or betraying or harming her, she keeps loving them anyway.... her mature love cannot sour into hatred."

"If she has been a prostitute, that is GOOD!! We can discuss it at length. I have written a book (not yet published) entitled, Resurrecting the Innocence in Prostitutes. Fascinating topic! And it's an important part of my Global Vision."

I think it must be the same site - I really hope so anyway ?

He is, apparently, the priest and THE GODDESS is the altar. Which would be nice. I wonder if he would reply to a query as to exactly what constitutes a special enough occasion to ejaculate?

Well that's me out of the equation as there's no way he'd want this gravel-throated old soak.

ETA: 'Television news broadcasts are largely propaganda' - htf would he know???

But he is on the cusp of earning billions, honest he is.

My favourite bits so far:

The Goddess I seek sees far beyond the "normal" level of thinking. She follows the guidance she receives from God (even when people might think she's crazy) So if God tells her to jump off a bridge that's ok?

She is NOT a Scientologist. Ha ha ha!

What fun! I wonder if he's found one yet?

Quote:

"Extremely passionate tantra master who does not ejaculate (except on rare occasions). Stay fully hard through multiple male orgasms without ejaculating. Can and will genuinely DELIVER "so many times you lose count," as stated above. "

Erm, a legend in his own .... mind?

She is PASSIONATE. Actually, she is INTENSELY passionate.... passionate about God, passionate about eliminating social injustice, passionate when speaking to audiences or on television, and passionate in bed with me.

Uh huh.

he lost me at 'so if it's too long for you, then we are not a match' but reading the above i might read some more for entertainment!

Nutter. I want to know what knownowt was googling to find this site? Are you after your own goddess? ?

Oh this is just too funny! I can't breathe!

"She is beautifully dressed and beautifully groomed.

She has excellent posture.

She has a trim waistline (as do all four Goddesses above). Alternatively, if her waistline is ALMOST (but not quite) trim, she is willing to trim it down and keep it trim. No exceptions."

Bugger - I wear crappy clothes, have terrible posture and a love of cheesecake which means that inevitably I won't have a trim waistline in the future. I thought I was in there.

How dare you mock? All these instructions come straight from God - this point is made very clear.?

?

Sent the link to Mr Mel. He sent back this:

This guy sounds fantastic. I fully support you divorcing me to pursue him ;-)

?

I dare someone to reply!

If you are interested and you feel the above-stated extensive qualifications describe you (or nearly describe you), please email me the following nine items:

8.1. Your first name.

8.2. Your photos. Please include a face photo (with your eyes open and no glasses or sunglasses) AND a full-length photo that clearly reveals your figure. Recent photos, please, that accurately show how you look today. You may include your photos in your email and/or send me a link to a web site where you have posted them.

8.3. Your height.

8.4. Your zip code if inside the United States, otherwise your nation or territory.

8.5. How you found this web site.

8.6. Some of your thoughts and/or feelings about my lengthy message.

8.7. Something about yourself and your qualifications, including a description of your spiritual practices.

8.8. Any objections you have to what I have stated in this web site, and/or things you might want to negotiate about.

8.9. One or more questions you would like me to answer.

8.10. Any additional information you think might help me confirm your reply is legitimate.

Well I make sexual magic but...

my hair is cut short and I don't like it long.

sigh.

also - I'm not too keen on being worshipped. All that standing around on pedestals is a bit dull and drafty.

Double-dare you!

Bit hypocritical asking for recent photos when he has some from 2004 when he still had hair.

Let me just tailor my reply, then I'll have to set up a fake email address!

8.1. Your first name. ALISON

8.2. Your photos. Please include a face photo (with your eyes open and no glasses or sunglasses) AND a full-length photo that clearly reveals your figure. Recent photos, please, that accurately show how you look today. You may include your photos in your email and/or send me a link to a web site where you have posted them. OH THIS MIGHT BE A PROBLEM.......

8.3. Your height. 5'8" (TOO TALL FOR A GODDESS?)

8.4. Your zip code if inside the United States, otherwise your nation or territory. GU SOMETHING

8.5. How you found this web site. SOMEONE WAS POSTING A LINK TO YOUR PAGE ON AN INTERNET FORUM AND WE WERE ALL HAVING A LAUGH ABOUT IT. I MEAN TRYING TO ACCESS OUR INNER GODDESSES.

8.6. Some of your thoughts and/or feelings about my lengthy message. I FELT THAT YOUR LENGTHLY MESSAGE WAS A BIT WELL... LENGTHLY. HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT JUST HOOKING UP WITH A PROSTITUTE TO JUST GET LAID AND RELAX A BIT?

8.7. Something about yourself and your qualifications, including a description of your spiritual practices. MY SPIRITUAL PRACTISES INCLUDE DRINKING LOTS OF WINE UNTIL I FALL OVER. I HAVE 9 GCSES, 3 A LEVELS AND A DEGREE.

8.8. Any objections you have to what I have stated in this web site, and/or things you might want to negotiate about. I'D LIKE TO NEGOTIATE YOUR CHOICE OF HEADGEAR. I THINK THAT HAT LOOKS A BIT STUPID TO BE HONEST. ALSO CHINOS WENT OUT WITH THE ARK. HOW BALD ARE YOU NOW?

8.9. One or more questions you would like me to answer. DO YOU THINK THAT GOD INVENTED THE INTERNET? IF SO, IS HE READING YOUR PAGE? WOULD HE NOT HAVE JUST SENT YOU A GODDESS IF HE WERE?

8.10. Any additional information you think might help me confirm your reply is legitimate. I'M AS LEGITIMATE AS A NINE DOLLAR BILL.

What do you think? Any more I need add?

Or we could *really* play along with it, and send a really detailed response to see what we get out of him? Perhaps a little project we could all work on together over the weekend?

Sounds good, Flissy. I feel a project coming on!

AliLindsey, all you need to do before sending it is add Barongreenback's avatar as your photo...

I'd like to negotiate about his lack of ejaculation. There's only so much trauma a girl's cervix can take in one session. Damn it, I want a physical manifestation of my goddessery!

...but then he might not think my waistline is trim enough!!

?

He won me over when he said he was disease free.

Where do i sign up?

he does remind me of the preacher man out of poltergiest in his first photo with the hat on.

mmmmmm preacher man...

"She never feels greed"

That's me out ☹️

I like the way he wants a Goddess who is intelligent and speaks English with advanced fluency, whilst saying that it's VERY appropriate for his Goddess to be skeptical.

He's divorced after 17 years of marriage! I can't believe she put up with this for that long!

(Alternatively, perhaps her waistline got a bit too un-trim...)

How suss is this bit?

Taught high school chemistry and mathematics for LA Unified Schools, and also twice started my own private schools. Students and their parents love me, but the powers that be in education do not.

Best of luck to him!