Bad day... :(

Oh dear I am really sorry to hear things are not going too well.

I would say for that amount of people you could have a lovely day for much less than that! We are having 100 people for the day and en extra 40/50 for the evening. A church ceremony, 2 course meal, hog roast for the evening and all the drinks for the reception is coming to around £5500, so a smaller group is people is massivly do-able!

I think you could have a reg office and the rest of the day how you want it for a very resonable price. Perhaps we can help with some suggestions? Where are you looking to have the wedding first of all?

I hope things look up for you soon x

Sorry to hear this is causing you such a problem.

Isn't there an "in between" way? We got married in our village church and then had our reception in the local pub's function room. It may not have been as stylish as some venues, but it was friendly, very well run, stress free and loads of fun for all our guests. The whole wedding came in at around £3,500. for 120 guests day and evening. Just an example of how we did it on the cheap but we certanly don't feel we have missed out at all.

As always, it's the balance between wanting to be married and feeling you must have all the trimmings. Just work out what it really important to you.

Hi

I did wonder if that figure was just too much! But the other venues we saw for holding everything were about the same and so i suppose i didn't have anything to compare to.

The registry office is called Langtons House in Hornchurch, Essex. It's actually really pretty and i would be more than happy to get wed there, its just the afterwards - I'm relatively new to the area and so I don't really know what's out there as such. I just feel a bit stuck and everything is just so overwhelming i'm just not sure where to go next...

Thank you for listening, feels good to get things out x

I think AC's suggestion of looking at pubs is a great idea.

That Registry Office is lovely.

Sorry to hear you are having a bad day. We are also on a budget so know how you feel! Have you considered having a week day wedding at all? We are getting married at a beautiful hotel on a Thursday in July. We are having a 3 course breakfast, canapés, sparkling wine, chair covers, DJ, the ceremony itself, overnight stay for bride and groom. The list goes on and it's only costing us £2,800 because its a mid week deal. Oh and we are having 32 day guests and 50 evening. The evening buffet is also included on that price!

Sad for you. ☹️ We struggled with budget for our small wedding initially, until OHs dad stepped in to save the day! It's still going to be tight, but at least we can go ahead. So I have been through what you're going through at the moment. You just want to get hitched asap!

I don't see anything wrong with the registry office / wedding breakfast idea. I love our local registry office, and the one you're looking at looks lovely too. Don't know why some people get so snobby about reg offices; at the end of the day- same result!!

If you get married reasonably late (say, 3pm) then you can go off for a nice meal somewhere and spend the evening in a pub / bar. Could you possibly talk to somewhere about creating a 'VIP' area for you? I went to a friend's wedding last year where they had a similar setup; they got married in a hotel, we had a sit down meal, and there wasn't an evening reception as such, everyone just convened in the bar at the hotel after the meal and spent the night drinking! It was lovely and intimate. That's basically what people would do at an evening reception anyway, so what's the difference where you do it? The only thing they didn't have was music, but no-one really noticed.

Alternatively, you could ask for a contribution from your guests toward food, etc. in lieu of a wedding present. Just ask for £10 (people would probably spend more than that on a present anyway) per head. If you're inviting 25 people that's £250 toward the cost of the food. You'll probably find people end up buying you a present anyway! (double bubble) It depends if you'd feel comfortable doing that or not.

Do you know anyone with a nice, big back garden and / or a marquee? Why not have the reg office do, meal at a pub / restaurant and then all bundle back to someone's house for a big BBQ / picnic house party? That would save MEGA bucks. And everyone loves a good barbie! Plus it'd tie in with a lovely vintage-y village fete feel. You could even do an American supper and get people to bring a dish instead of a present.

Here's a couple of examples from my favourite wedding site:

https://www.rocknrollbride.com/2011/11/a-homemade-back-garden-wedding-philip-katie-jane/

https://www.rocknrollbride.com/2012/09/a-colourful-country-garden-fete-wedding-tom-jenny/

https://www.rocknrollbride.com/2011/11/a-village-fete-meets-tattoo-parlour-wedding-jess-david/

Hope you find something!

The registry office looks really lovely. I am not from Essex, but have just done a little internet research. I have found this place:

https://www.ardleighhouse.org/halls/ it is 4 mins drive from the reg office and only £375.00 to hire all day for the smaller hall which looks lovely as it is, but you would really be able to personalise it to how you like it. This way, you would be able to get your own catering in, which means you can research and get the best price. Obviously, this really is a DIY wedding, so if you feel you were up to it, or you could rope family and friends in then it would be a good option.

x

It could well be, but he desperately wants to get married this year. To cut a very long story short, his kidneys are failing and they've given us a year before transplant/dialysis will need to happen. He wants to get married whilst he's still feeling himself and not got hospital visits, tubes and what not on him which i completely understand, so it really isn't me bullying him

Thank you for all your lovely ideas. I have emailed a few halls/hotels that i've found and we're going to the reg office on Friday morning to have a proper chat.

Really appreciate everyone's comments, I can't tell you how much! x

I have emailed that one too - thank you very much! x

Don't blow huge amounts of your budget on catering - it's unnecessary and will have a knock on effect with your other costs. Opt for something informal, but still classy. The stuffy sit down affairs will swallow up your cash and your guests won't blink an eye or thank you for it. Try something a little different that will appeal to everyone and all tastes.?

If you're hiring a hall you get to make all your own decisions (usually) rather than being forced to have a certain caterer or spend a minimum amount on alcohol etc. If you have a look around you can get all sort of mobile catering - Fish & Chips (we're having that for the evening), Pasties, Baked Potatoes - all sorts! They usually include disposable plates / cutlery and if you do have your ceremony later in the day then you only need to provide one meal. You can hire glassware for free from Sainsbury's or Waitrose and buy wine in bulk (or do a Calais run) and / or ask a local pub to provide a mobile bar.

The wedding is about you two being happy and your loved ones being there to celebrate with you - no one has to be Posh & Becks to have a great day! Hope it all works out for you ?

Sorry to hear your having a bad day ☹️,when we started planning our wedding we very quickly noticed that feeding people was the most expensive bit. Thats the reason we are having our day in three different places. Another family member is getting married mid week then having a party at the weekend and they have saved a fortune doing it like that. suppose what i'm trying to say is you can make it as cheap as you like, nice dress from the high street, registry office mid week with close family and friends and a big party at the weekend for everyone. Hope you come up with an idea soon. ?

Our wedding cost under £2k and we had a lovely day. We had a very intimate ceremony (6 guests) at registry office, meal with 4 guests (mum, brother and PIL) and then we had a big party at night in our local pub/hotel function room. We had about 80 guests and had a big buffet. It maybe isn't to everyone's taste but we enjoyed it and it meant we got married when we wanted to, not waiting to save up loads of money.

I agree Tizzie, your day sounds very similar to the way our day is going to go, and i have no doubt it will be perfect for us and thats all that counts.

Im going to a wedding at Langtons next month, The grounds look lovely there.

Then they are having there reception at the holiday inn in Basildon after, My other friend got married here last August and we all had a lovely time, the food was really nice and from what I hear they do really good deals so might be worth looking at.

hth xxxx

Have you looked at holiday inn deals? They are really good value and lots of the hotels are lovely.

Or maybe rent a restaurant to hold the reception at? My parents did that at our local greek restaurant and it worked really well after a registry office wedding.

Hope you find something perfect x

Thank you all for your lovely replies and words of encouragement.

I'm pleased to say that things are alot happier now and we have booked our wedding! We are getting married at Langtons House on 1st December this year ? We went for their Exclusive Sunday Package so we are having ceremony and reception there and it's all ours for the day! I'm thrilled and when we went back there to have a look I remembered why I'd liked it originally. Think we just got carried away with the idea of hotels and their packages, however i'm looking forward to cracking on with things so we can have more of our personal touches on the day.

A very happy Amber x