Bad FB status updates

I would have to delete these people as friends, no question

L
xx

I've got one particular 'friend' who is driving me mad with his FB updates at the moment. Examples include -

xxxxx loves Mxxx so much and is going to protect her Pxxx and Lxxxx forever XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

xxxx Only 4 1/2 hours left in work then i am off, Cant wait to see Mxxx, Pxxx & Lxxxx XXX

xxxx Has had the best day ever lying on the beach in the glorious sunshine with my totally perfect Mxxxx xxxxx

xxxx Is totally in love with Mxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ok I get that he's all loved up but I don't want to see it everytime I log on

I have one who is the only person to have had children:

X has 2 poorly boys and hasn't managed to get dressed yet

X wonders what is in calpol... from floppy and sleepy to jumping off the sofas in less than half an hour.. now that is some good drugs!!!!

X Has only just managed to get us all up and dressed. just in time fir X's nap!!!

X wonders how a 5 week old can eat solidly for 6 hours and not stop much the rest of the time. No wonder he's growing out of 0-3 clothes already. My chunky monkey is wearing me out.

X needs to sort out X's feeding or I'm going to be dead on my feet.

X is the worst Mummy in the world, both boys are sucking their dummies while cuddled up to me in my bed! Bothered... absolutely not :-D

For the benefit of those who missed it when it was originally posted: http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/

I love that website Doughnut - it took me days to read it all last time you posted the link - it's fab!

Thanks for the advice (sorry - can't see who now) about how to hide status updates from a particular person.

I have one girl (never met her, but went to school with H and is uber-friendly) who pisses me off daily with hers. Same every morning:

XXXX Well done <insert hideously twee nickname for baby>. 13 hours last night - way to go <insert hideously twee nickname again>!! xx

They're all the same, just worded slightly differently.

Ok, so I *may* be slightly jealous that her younger baby sleeps better than mine, but hey - they're still dreadful.

Re. the text speak - surely that takes longer to type - they must have to think about everything they're saying. Surely.

I have one person on fb that has some stupid status updates such as:

XXXXX would give anything to be able to sleep!?! at 3.54am (well get off the computer you moo)

XXXXX has so many words left on her essay which needs to be in by 12noon tomorrow (to which I actually replied with "Well stop wasting time and words on FB then" got a snooty reply back that I can't remember what it was.)

A few days later we got: XXXX

But the one that takes the biscuit is the fact that she chose to go down south for degree No.3 and had asked on her Status this time last year for all her facebook friends to give her a tenner as that would cover her fees for this year. (and then put her bank account details on FB so some people silly enough could transfer money over, I posted about that on here at the time) She didn't see the stupidity of that and got the hump when I put something similar in my status about my wedding to make a point (something along the lines of "Jo is wondering if she could ask all the wedding guests for 50p each so that she can pay for a drink for them all")

oh and recently she's been trying to sell the contents of her flat on facebook so that she can move into a furnished flat next term and will only use freecycle and ebay "as a last resort" (this is the one that moans that she has no cash and is seen diving the following day. Or asks for peeps to cover her next shift as she's not well (while having actually said 3 status's before that she still has essays to do)

Gah, came out longer than I thought. I would block her but she's my yardstick for normality (as in If I haven't got as low as her, then I'm doing well!) and entertainment...

J