been married for six months-help

As a B2B I cannot offer any 6 months advice but have you talked to him about his change in behaviour? x

I have tried to talk to him. He denies the change and says he won't change for anyone. I thought marriage was about compromise.

Any relationship needs a bit of give and take... does he know how you really feel about it, how strongly you feel about it? x

I will have to talk to him again. I have told him how annoyed I am about his behaviour. Unfortunetly I cry as soon as I come across confrontation. As soon as I cry he switches off. I was wondering if there is a third party we can go through?

Sorry that you are struggling with your relationship at this stage Diane. I think that things will not get any better until they are confronted head-on. Have you told him that you are actually thinking of leaving as its that bad for you??? If he won't listen to you then maybe a Councellor or something like that would be the answer. Are you close to any of his family or friends that you could speak to and maybe they could have a word??? I know that seems a bit like going behind his back but I'm sure the person would be discrete when talking to him??

Also, I would say no way to having kids at the moment - I think kids test solid relationships to the max never mind rocky ones.

Hope this helps and things get better soon.

Oh diane, im sorry to hear of this. Is there not even a mutual friend who could talk to him??? Marriage doesnt change people as far as I can see, but for some they marry coz its what was 'expected' of them, or to 'keep the other happy' which i'm sure you will agree, are the wrong reasons.

if you knew of his laziness before you married i gather you tried to solve it then? Instead of being confrontational i would talk to him as best as you can. Remind him that he would like to extend his family, hows that going to work out? Is he expecting you to bring up the baby by yourself whilst he carries on doing what he does best (which is sweet FA by the looks of it) How are you expected to look after a new born AND his daughter? and of course, will he expect you to keep the house clean too whilst he sits on his ass?????

can you turn to his parents or a brother/sister to have a word with him??

xx

I don't think i've read your previous posts, do you mean lazy as in household chores? Household chores are a particular re occuring sore point in my house, its not that my OH won't do anything, its just i have to ASK him to and that annoys me, no one asks me to do it i just get on with it!!!!!!!!!! i don't imagine for a second that that will change when we wed but i tell you buying a dish washer has saved a lot of arguing.

wss x

Thanks Ladies,

I will need to find a friend that can talk to him. His family wouldn't be helpful. I might try relate.

I'll keep you posted but I don't know how it's going to work out.

Thinking of ya

6mths in, you are still getting to know one another as a married couple which can sometimes feel slightly different to just living together. For some men, marriage can suddenly seem quite scary once the 'forever' thing has dawned on them.

It sounds as though he's decided on the wife doing things for the husband scenario, rather than working together equally (is this the relationship between his parents?). So I think you both need to sit down and maybe write a list of things you've noticed e.g. a little lazy about things, and things you could do together. Don't make it sound purely negative on his part...put some negatives in that you do too...otherwise he'll be up for a fight.

But, WSES perhaps give relate a try...