Beginning to seriously dislike weddings :(

It seems to keep losing my replies so I will try again. I completely lost my mojo towards the end and lists were my best friend. I also found someone else on hitched with the same issue and we both did some bum kicking of each other. Maybe a friend if not?

Are there any jobs you can delegate?

I remember your issues with bridesmaids dresses! Shame you're back to square one but it's not the end of the world if they wear different ones.

Be realistic with your dress. Can you finish it or do you need some seamstress help even if only from a time point of view? No shame in getting help to stay sane.

Deal with the important things first. The fluffy fancy bits don't matter. Neither do invitations. As long as they know where and when that's good enough.

It will all fall into place. Getting it off your chest might have been all you needed. You just need to take a deep breath, organise some time, get what help you can and crack on ?. I'm good at nagging and googling if it's any help to you. X

Kizzi,

I know where you're coming from! When I first got engaged (first marriage for me, not him!) I was under the impression that it would be very romantic and lots of drinking champagne! It truth it's just been a lot of stress, boredom and feeling crap about myself. Like you we've had no real major issues thankfully and I'm incredibly grateful for that but just lots of little niggly things. Our afternoon venue managers were rubbish at communicating with us, we've had problems with things like rings, the wedding invites we ordered were all wrong and currently we're still in the process of h2b's divorce going through. Although separated 20 years and we've been together almost 3 years it wasn't something they'd "got round" to doing. It's all been quite stressful and I'm just disappointed! I bought my dress in the first shop after 2 hours of trying on dresses and I do like it but I can't help thinking that I didn't have a moment so what if that means I'm just settling?! I've had that thought a lot about just settling for things mainly because we're on such a strict budget that it's not a particularly extravagant wedding but even if we had a bigger budget I'm not sure what I'd actually want anyway!!

I'm just feeling disappointed and confused! I think what scares me is that even though it's our wedding and he's had say in everything, a lot of the decisions on the details are down to me. As I'm diy'ing a lot of things myself it feels very personal to show a big group of people so much about me. And that terrifies me! It's like if they don't like something or someone criticises something it's like they are criticising me! I know that's daft but I just feel really exposed!! Any negative comments I've had so far have really knocked my confidence.

To me being married was always more important than the actual wedding but now it's happening I'm just terrified of getting it "wrong!" Even though I know logically there is no right at wrong!!

Anna x

Oh Kizzi, I completely get this, 100%! I think we're date twins, right?

I had so many plans and so many things I wanted to do, but seriously feel like I'm running out of time too!

Add the issues with OH's family and my BMs, and I really just can't wait for the day to be over! Sounds silly but I had such little motivation I didn't even give out half of my invitations despite all the effort I put in to make them, and the deadline for response is approaching

Have decided I'm going to tackle it this weekend! Get a load of DIY done. However, my mum has insisted on me getting real flowers for the wedding as she thinks I will be too stressed trying to make all the paper ones. I may have to concede and admit defeat on that one... Perhaps you could look into getting a seamstress to help out? There's some things at first I wasn't willing to spend money on, but closer to the day I'll be glad I've paid someone else to do it...

From what everyone says tho, we won't give a toss on the day about the little things... And if I do i'll probably just drink my way thru it! lol (NB, I am a super featherweight when it comes to drinking, so this will be 2 glasses of prosecco and I will be carried back to the hotel...!)

Aww, thanks girls, you've made me feel a bit better I'm not alone, and provided a few smiles lol. Think I just need to go and scream very loudly off the top of a very high mountain.

Tried the dress on again last night and managed to tie it up a bit better. I've got about half an inch gap between the panel under the laces and the dress, but it looked better round the bust, so there is hope I can get away with no alterations. Not sure I can sit down though without the top (it's strapless) hitting me in the face.... Will finish the hem myself seeing as I've got this far.

I was in the wrong for daring to want vegan catering (now not an issue as we're using the standard pub menu), my mum doesn't like the dress as she thinks wedding dresses shouldn't be strapless, my daughter hates practically every dress she sees unless it's a black bodycon dress (which her cousin won't feel confident in), and the invites have gone from pressed real flowers, to crocheted ones (which the OH laughed at), to me saying right, I'll use a stamp and pain or stickers! After paying out for all the stuff I'm not sure I can be bothered. but can't justify the wasted expense.

Feel a bit like I'm just settling for things too, as it's easier and cheaper. Focuses things on the important bit of the day (the vows), but it's along way from the day we'd thought about years ago when we first decided we would be getting married one day.

Need to knuckle down and get on with it really, and not bury my head in the sand singing to myself in blissful denial lol

I hope you're feeling in less of a fluster soon. One piece of practical advice, just from reading other threads here, is that make sure you have everything in writing between you and the pub, particularly if the manager is threatening to resign. That way the owners and the new manager will know what's been agreed.