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kizzi10000
Beginner August 2016

Beginning to seriously dislike weddings :(

kizzi10000, 9 June, 2016 at 19:28 Posted on Planning 0 4

Being second time round for each of us we're pretty relaxed about everything, but I've just had enough now. Nothing in particular really, and pales into insignificance compared to some people's woes ☹️, but enough to make me wish it was all just here and done and all I had to do was turn up on the day. And I was really looking forward to planning when we got engaged!

Half my family can't be there (we're only inviting family down to first cousins and one good friend on each side totalling 45 at mo), we still haven't sorted the invitations (10 weeks to go) though everyone knows pretty much, I don't know what to do with my hair and need ideas for my trial, likewise make-up as I don't wear it, my dress is still in pieces as I'm shortening it and am losing the will to live with all the bits of lace to take off and put on again, it doesn't fit properly yet as I've not lost the 3st I wanted to when I bought it a year ago, and that pisses me off Smiley sad, my daughter has decided she hates the bridesmaids dresses I bought (her cousin loved it), and to be fair, at 14 her bust has grown again in the last couple of months or so and it doesn't fit properly now so will need to buy more, OH doesn't seem bothered about meeting up with the manager of the pub we're eating at afterwards and instead of saying yep, I'll book an afternoon off work (pub has asked we come during the week as they're busy and it's 30 miles away), he's wittering on about not knowing if he'll still be there or not (has written his resignation but not given it in), and I've just had enough of it all. Still seems so much to do, and I'm the only one doing all the background planning. We did buy his suit last weekend (got all excited as it's lovely and he looks fab in it and I can't wait to seem the whole lot together), and the rings, but it's all gone flat again now.

Sorry to moan, but feel time is running away with me. He works away during the week, so I have to discuss and show at the weekends, but we've got several weekends booked up with my running races (sounds better than it is, I'm very slow lol). We've got 4 clear weekends between now and the wedding to thrash it out.

And I don't know if I even like my dress any more I've had so much to do with it and there is still so much to do ☹️

Ok, feel a bit better now. It's not like I've reached burn-out as I've hardly done any planning of any sort recently. Need some motivation!

4 replies

Latest activity by Karen84, 10 June, 2016 at 12:50
  • Jayne E
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    Jayne E ·
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    It seems to keep losing my replies so I will try again. I completely lost my mojo towards the end and lists were my best friend. I also found someone else on hitched with the same issue and we both did some bum kicking of each other. Maybe a friend if not?

    Are there any jobs you can delegate?

    I remember your issues with bridesmaids dresses! Shame you're back to square one but it's not the end of the world if they wear different ones.

    Be realistic with your dress. Can you finish it or do you need some seamstress help even if only from a time point of view? No shame in getting help to stay sane.

    Deal with the important things first. The fluffy fancy bits don't matter. Neither do invitations. As long as they know where and when that's good enough.

    It will all fall into place. Getting it off your chest might have been all you needed. You just need to take a deep breath, organise some time, get what help you can and crack on ?. I'm good at nagging and googling if it's any help to you. X

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  • A
    Beginner November 2016
    Annaangeluk2016 ·
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    Kizzi,

    I know where you're coming from! When I first got engaged (first marriage for me, not him!) I was under the impression that it would be very romantic and lots of drinking champagne! It truth it's just been a lot of stress, boredom and feeling crap about myself. Like you we've had no real major issues thankfully and I'm incredibly grateful for that but just lots of little niggly things. Our afternoon venue managers were rubbish at communicating with us, we've had problems with things like rings, the wedding invites we ordered were all wrong and currently we're still in the process of h2b's divorce going through. Although separated 20 years and we've been together almost 3 years it wasn't something they'd "got round" to doing. It's all been quite stressful and I'm just disappointed! I bought my dress in the first shop after 2 hours of trying on dresses and I do like it but I can't help thinking that I didn't have a moment so what if that means I'm just settling?! I've had that thought a lot about just settling for things mainly because we're on such a strict budget that it's not a particularly extravagant wedding but even if we had a bigger budget I'm not sure what I'd actually want anyway!!

    I'm just feeling disappointed and confused! I think what scares me is that even though it's our wedding and he's had say in everything, a lot of the decisions on the details are down to me. As I'm diy'ing a lot of things myself it feels very personal to show a big group of people so much about me. And that terrifies me! It's like if they don't like something or someone criticises something it's like they are criticising me! I know that's daft but I just feel really exposed!! Any negative comments I've had so far have really knocked my confidence.

    To me being married was always more important than the actual wedding but now it's happening I'm just terrified of getting it "wrong!" Even though I know logically there is no right at wrong!!

    Anna x

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  • TrixieSaurus
    Beginner August 2016
    TrixieSaurus ·
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    Oh Kizzi, I completely get this, 100%! I think we're date twins, right?

    I had so many plans and so many things I wanted to do, but seriously feel like I'm running out of time too! Smiley sad

    Add the issues with OH's family and my BMs, and I really just can't wait for the day to be over! Sounds silly but I had such little motivation I didn't even give out half of my invitations despite all the effort I put in to make them, and the deadline for response is approaching Smiley sad

    Have decided I'm going to tackle it this weekend! Get a load of DIY done. However, my mum has insisted on me getting real flowers for the wedding as she thinks I will be too stressed trying to make all the paper ones. I may have to concede and admit defeat on that one... Perhaps you could look into getting a seamstress to help out? There's some things at first I wasn't willing to spend money on, but closer to the day I'll be glad I've paid someone else to do it...

    From what everyone says tho, we won't give a toss on the day about the little things... And if I do i'll probably just drink my way thru it! lol (NB, I am a super featherweight when it comes to drinking, so this will be 2 glasses of prosecco and I will be carried back to the hotel...!)

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  • kizzi10000
    Beginner August 2016
    kizzi10000 ·
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    Aww, thanks girls, you've made me feel a bit better I'm not alone, and provided a few smiles lol. Think I just need to go and scream very loudly off the top of a very high mountain.

    Tried the dress on again last night and managed to tie it up a bit better. I've got about half an inch gap between the panel under the laces and the dress, but it looked better round the bust, so there is hope I can get away with no alterations. Not sure I can sit down though without the top (it's strapless) hitting me in the face.... Will finish the hem myself seeing as I've got this far.

    I was in the wrong for daring to want vegan catering (now not an issue as we're using the standard pub menu), my mum doesn't like the dress as she thinks wedding dresses shouldn't be strapless, my daughter hates practically every dress she sees unless it's a black bodycon dress (which her cousin won't feel confident in), and the invites have gone from pressed real flowers, to crocheted ones (which the OH laughed at), to me saying right, I'll use a stamp and pain or stickers! After paying out for all the stuff I'm not sure I can be bothered. but can't justify the wasted expense.

    Feel a bit like I'm just settling for things too, as it's easier and cheaper. Focuses things on the important bit of the day (the vows), but it's along way from the day we'd thought about years ago when we first decided we would be getting married one day.

    Need to knuckle down and get on with it really, and not bury my head in the sand singing to myself in blissful denial lol

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  • Karen84
    Beginner July 2016
    Karen84 ·
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    I hope you're feeling in less of a fluster soon. One piece of practical advice, just from reading other threads here, is that make sure you have everything in writing between you and the pub, particularly if the manager is threatening to resign. That way the owners and the new manager will know what's been agreed.

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