being culled

I would ask her if there is a problem. it may have been nights out that had been planned a while ago. And if she is busy with work. Just call her and find out, if not send her a text.

I did this with a friend. I was always phoning/texting her first and wouldn't hear from her for months until I sent her another text. I finally asked if I had done something to hurt/annoy her, she phoned me right away. everything got sorted and it was fine for a few months. Now its back to the way it was but this time I don't bother phoning her or texting. She is getting married in a few months, so will see if I get an invite. Not holding my breath.

If the night out was planned a while ago though, why would she plan to do something with me until around the same time the message appeared on her FB profile? Hum. I feel like I'm stalking an ex or something ?

I know I should ask her if there's a problem, but the truth is I'm scared to ?. The arguments that we have had - few of them as there have been - have not been pleasant. She's not really a great friend when I think about it, not anymore - I suppose it's just that we have so much history together. Even so though, as our lives have changed, we've seen less of each other and done different things - it never seemed to matter. Just makes me sad, I guess.

I would definitely ask her if everything is okay between the two of you, although I understand it's hard.

I got culled by one of my best mates almost a year ago now (all contact ceased and was removed from her Facebook, etc, out of the blue), and I still to this day don't know why. In fact at the time she had done a few crappy things to me which I had kind of forgiven her for, and I genuinely can't think of anything I could have done to piss her off. I posted about it on here and was given some great advice and encouraged to ask her what had happened, so I sent her an email just asking what had happened and why she suddenly didn't want to be mates and was it something we could talk about/resolve. The email was read and ignored. I'm glad I asked, because I'd have wondered otherwise, but I'm still clueless! However, I haven't missed the friendship as much as I thought I would, and I realised that the dynamic we had changed when I had my son and she had already moved on to someone v similar to me in many ways, but without the child, before the 'official culling'.

Anyway, I didn't mean to bang on about my situation, just to say that I think it's worth at least just dropping an email asking if everything is alright between you if you feel the friendship is worth trying to salvage.

As an aside I think whether you want or miss the friend or not can sometimes be by the by, it's still a form of rejection being culled which isn't the nicest feeling ?

GwtW, sometimes people just move on. We have to accept it, even though it's a bitter pill to swallow sometimes.

I'm sorry your friend has culled you, or at least you feel she has. I felt exactly the same about a friend I've known since I was in single digits .. I think we started school at 2 together! Very sad circumstances in her life resulted in her becoming a very needy, high maintenance friend. When she totally lost it over our wedding being abroad, I had to take a step back as the friendship had become toxic. It's taken a long while to accept the friendship that had lasted over 30 years was over, and that her children are my Godchildren, but what can I do?

If the relationship between you is strained, often resulting in arguments, it's really not worth it. I'd keep her as a friend on FB, but limit what you see to save upsetting yourself. Even cull her on there if it would help you.

Concentrate on the people in your life who add something positive. People who make you laugh, make you smile, make you happy. They are the people you need to surround yourself with.

? as I know it hurts and is upsetting

Thanks for sharing, all.

She has been quite a high maintanence friend in past times. She's very sensitive and can get annoyed quite easily, although things haven't been like that between us for a long time. We are very different these days - she's single, high earning, travels a lot - I'm at home with a child and have little 'me' time. We have always confided in each other though, and I got the feeling that she had never felt very comfortable with other friends she'd made. She doesn't seem happy about much at all of late.

Ahh well.

I was culled by one of my very best friends. It turned out that her boyf (now husband) didn't like me. He spun this whole line about how I secretly hated him ( I absolutely didn't) but she effectively had to choose and chose him. I had a strong desire to know 'why' and this resulted in a 6 page diatribe from her bloke that was deeply unpleasant. So my advice is if she's being funny, leave her to it. It was horrible and incredibly upsetting at the time but now I don't notice she's not around anymore. It doesn't sound like it's anything you've done.

WSS. It does sound like she's being a bit P-A and wanting you to be the one to throw a strop and end the friendship; better to just step back imo. ?

SGL, that sounds horrible ? I think I'm a bit worried about the same thing; I'd rather things just frittered out than we had a big, nasty blow-up.

Thanks Sophie.

I feel like I'm in the playground again ? It's amazing how this sort of thing can affect you.

Hey just wanted to add i know how you feel right now as i am going through something similar with my so-called best friend...not sure what i have done to deserve it but im also very fustrated to know what i have done but as some-one else mentioned and is sooo very true stick with the friends who love you make you laugh and have a great time with...they are the friends that matter

Just want to say I had the same experience - similar to Creme Egg I got culled for a reason I'm not 100% sure about and have now lost all contact with said friend. It was painful but I'm slowly getting over it. I guess if a friendship is not working, then it might be best to let it go.