Being too organised - Is that a thing

I got told by a friend to chill out too! She bought a package wedding (well, her parents did) so she did little planning herself - the one bit she did do had a mistake on it! Lol!

I started to calm down when all suppliers were in place. I have paid deposits and secured their services and checked out they are in budget and can do what we want them to do.

I got engaged January and most suppliers were in place by April.

Then I have slowly pulled things together, working out detail and enjoying it more - we have ideas for flowers with the florist, but nothing exact as yet. We now have cake flavours decided, but not the final cake design.... you get the picture!

So I don't think there is anything wrong in securing suppliers - especially as you are having a summer wedding where the best will get booked up quick. I do however, tend to agree that others won't be bothered about your wedding yet - it is amazing to me how excited you can be compared to how disinterested your nearest and dearest can be!

I think it's always worth thinking about the feedback we get from friends and family and if it's more than one person maybe there is a reason why they are saying this?

You do have plenty of time left and I would personally wait a little longer with the save the dates. I know it's the summer holidays but people forget about save the dates if you send them too soon.

In respect of the cake just set her a limit and see what her reaction is. Maybe say that you have budgeted for £X and hope that's ok. I wouldn't mention it again until 6 months before. You don't want to get on her nerves.

There are lots of brides on here who have long engagements and are fairly organised, but there are also lots of us who did it really quickly. It sounds like your friends are telling you to calm down. It may well be worth taking their advice and holding back with the wedding talk for a little while.

They do have a point that people tend to be more interested if your wedding is less than a year to go. That can be tough for the bride, but that's the way it is i'm afraid.

I actually don't bring up the wedding unless someone else does first if I'm honest because I know people don't really care (not in a horrid way, but that is life and the reality of it).

She is a cake maker so we were talking cakes in general and then the convo turned to wedding cakes she has coming up.

It is not everyone telling me to calm down and I'm not frantic, I just feel that if this is the way I want to do it to stay ahead of myself, how can that be a problem, if that makes sense.

I wouldn't tell someone else to get it all done early, we all have our own styles. I just don't get why some people feel being organised is a bad thing.

People questioning why I would book early...?

I've got family members asking me when they can book the hotel and begging me for the code but then I also know others aren't thinking that far ahead.

The other person who mentioned not sending the Save the dates was my FSIL but she is another personalilty who likes to leave things later.

I guess my real question is why am I being made to feel like I am doing something wrong by being organised?

This is how I am, I think. Big things sorted and then enjoy the smaller things.

I don't mind that others are not interested but I find it rude when people ask how things are and then tell me I'm being too organised.

I try not to bring it up unless people ask because I know we all have our own lives etc.

The closer you get to the wedding the more opinionated people will get about what you should and shouldn't do.

Just ignore and do what you think is best. There is nothing wrong with being organised. I think it might be an issue if you're stressing people out but it doesn't sound like that's what you're doing.

Do it at your own pace, but rest assured you have plenty of time left and will get it all done.

? Indeed.

I'm looking at this like another work project bit by bit it will get done with minimal stress and fuss.

You sound like you're at roughly the same stage as me - I've been engaged a year and the wedding is 13.5 months away. We've sorted: church, venue (inc. caterers), photographer, DJ, save the dates designed but not made (going out a year before, so early August), wedding car, and I'm dress shopping at the end of July.

I think this is one of those moments where you just have to not care about what other people think. If it makes YOU feel comfortable and happy to have sorted or at least thought about certain things at this stage, then so what? You're planning the wedding, not them! How much time are you going to spend on planning compared to how much time it will take them to think/say 'I think it's too early for save the dates'? The only annoying thing is that you have to accept that other people won't feel the same way or be the same level of organised as you, but as long as you're not bugging them or taking up lots of their time, then what's the problem? Yay for organised people!

When it comes to budget, I think it's reasonable to press people a bit on that, maybe with a few basic details like number of servings required, if purely so you can put a rough figure in a spreadsheet.

Im the same. im normally pretty organised. i know alot of people getting married this year that have done the planning in only a few month.

i think now im getting to the year mark i'll feel a bit better thats ive pretty much done everything lol

You sound like me tbh. When I get married in October I would have been engaged nearly 20 months and did a lot of planning in 2014.

This is mainly due to having most of November this year off for my honeymoon which is taking off all my holiday except my Hen do. So didn’t want the stress of working right up to the wedding with little holiday and do all the stressful parts of planning.

Ha you sound just like me. Also a PA so very organised. I planned various tasks for each month so I didn't necessarily do it all immediately but it was scheduled and research stages done so I knew exactly what each month would involve and cost. It has saved me a huge amount of stress I'm sure especially since I then got pregnant and had to focus on baby stuff at the same time! My wedding was fully planned and sorted a month before and it's a relief.

my only negatives is that I sent the invites out too early because I was worried people would need lots of notice for a summer wedding and there was a big event in the area the same weekend that I thought might mean less hotel options but this wasn't the case and then I wanted to send updated versions of invites as a reminder. Also just having more time to second guess my decisions and consider making unnecessary last minute changes just because I didn't want it to end!

Otherwise i I don't see a downside but expect you'll have to accept others might want to wait til nearer the time.

I personally think you should do things as and when you want! Esp with save the dates. If you want to send them out now you send them out! Ours went out nearly 18 months before as people are going to have to travel. I personally don't care what people think. I'm inviting family and very close friends, and if anyone forgets because it's so far away and they didn't bother remembering (just stick it to the fridge etc, keep it in safe place) then that's their problem and says more about them than you (as in us brides to be in general).

I have most things sorted well over a year in advance and my sole reason was one of the ones you have stated- I need to know how close I am to my budget so I have time to shop around for best deal, and can budget/save accordingly as I book more suppliers and commit to more money being spent. So as hard as it may be, be as organised as you like, it's your wedding, and if people keep saying these things to you, then I wouldn't bother trying to engage with them in the topic as you don't need or deserve to feel bad for organising your own wedding!

I'm exactly the same as you!

We've been engaged for 2 years, and our wedding is in just under 2 years (only just set the date!)

Already got our venue, sweet cart, DJ, photobooth etc booked and deposits paid. Know my colours and flowers, planned the kinds of dresses I want for bridesmaids (no idea for my own yet!) And my guest list is finalised and save the dates/invitations are all ready to be made as well.

My planner which starts at "12 months to go" is mostly full up already! I've had my dream wedding idea in my head since we got engaged we just needed to save up before we could even think about setting a date.

I've been told by all my family that I'm getting ahead of myself, but my argument is at least I won't be stressed out! My sister planned her wedding in about 6 months and she was constantly stressed out the whole time and didn't actually get to enjoy any of the planning process!

I say if you're more comfortable planning ahead then go for it! Remember it's your day not theirs!

I'm in the same boat, and getting married the day before you. I am perfectly happy to be organised and have things done in advance, rather than risk losing out on a particular supplier. Plus it helps to manage the financial side of things once I know exactly how much things will cost.

To date we have booked/bought: Venue, Registrar, TOG, VOG, cake, favours, DJ, MUA, hotel, catering, dress, veil & shoes ?

I don't really talk about the wedding IRL unless prompted. I have even been accused of not being excited enough! But for me, 2 years is a long time to be talking to everyone about the ins and outs of our wedding. I'm so glad to have this place as my sounding board!

I don't think you're too organised. I had an 18 month engagement and had everything booked by the 1 year mark and had all the materials for the invitations.

I did get a little bored when I had nothing to do but it also meant I didn't get all stressy.

I'm glad that this site is here as i know that i am not the only one.

I'm a bit bored at the moment to be honest as apart from dress shopping and pinning things on pinterest I don't have much to do right now. So i'm using the time to try and make sure i do lots of non-weddingy fun stuff too.

We all work in different ways i suppose. I just felt a little deflated this morning after last nights convos with my friend.

I was panicking for so long thinking I had loads to do until I went to the hairdressers and you know what they are like with small talk. When she was asking me what I had planned it dawned on me that actually I had pretty much everything sorted. Now I have pretty much nothing left to plan and I'm so bored lol. I even did my seating plan the other week. But its definitely good to be organised because before you know it you will be walking down the aisle.

I could have written the majority of that myself, I'm also a PA, getting married July next year and all we've got left to organise is suits, DJ (both OHs jobs), flower girl dresses, table wine and possibly guest transport. I don't care if people think I'm over organised a lot of the prices I've got are in writing at 2013 prices so I'm happy with that, and some of the suppliers we have gone with are already fully booked for July nex year so we would not have gotten them if we waited. We are hoping with all the planning process we can relax more on the run up to it, which in hope is right as we've got some great date night's planned for the week before.