Best Man has let us down!!!

It's such a shame for your oh. When you agree to be someone's bewst man, you make a commitment. I really wish that people would think about what they are agreeing to and what it means. To me, the only reason you should pull out should be because of ill health.

I personally feel that he is not that great a friend if he is prepared to do this. Weddings are a very good time to realise those who you can rely on and those who you are better off not having in your life!

That is a shame for your OH but his baby will only be a few weeks old when your wedding comes around and it's understandable that he might not feel that he can leave his wife and newborn to fly around the other side of the world before even taking cost into consideration.

He may have known about the wedding ages ago but obviously has only known about the baby for about 10 weeks and he may have been weighing up his choices.

But yes, I can see why you're both disappointed.

I think your being a tad unreasonable! I can understand your dissapointed but the best man cant put his life on hold and if i were him my new baby and building a house for my new baby would take priority over your wedding im afraid.

Its not like he pulled out lastminute.com - hes given you 8 months notice to find someone else!

Sorry but I think you're very lucky that you still have 8 months to go and your BMan has told you in plenty of time. It sounds as though he has quite a few big things coming up for him and I think you should wish him well and find someone else.

DO NOT email him, he's probably feeling bad as it is and you won't make the situation any better...if your H2B has an issue let him do the talking.

Sorry...these things happen...and he's in Australia!

My H's best friend couldn't be his best man due to family/money issues so in the end he didn't have one it was fine...in fact we didn't even notice tbh.

Oh that is crap! but i think it is highly unlikely that he is going to come all the way from australia as the baby will only be a few weeks old. I don;t think it is unfair for you to be annoyed with him, but i don't think it will change the result. I think the best thing to do would be to start thinking about a new best man. It must have been really hard for him to tell to you that he can't come, i am sure it is not a cheap airfare.

I have to keep reminding myself that life goes on and not everyone is wrapped up in my wedding as I am.

Did you go to there wedding?

Now i feel like i'm being an unreasonable b@tch!! I'm not bothered if he comes or not to be honest but i can see how upset my OH is and that is what is making me angry. I'm the one with the balls in our house so to speak so if anything needs dealing with i do it.

I completely understand that their baby will be young still and that their life can't stop just because we are getting married.

My OH was best man at his first wedding but couldn't get to this wedding as he only told us at the beginning of September that he was getting married on the 25th September.

What shoegal and tahdah said - he hasn't dropped out right at the last minute, and you can't expect him to put his life on hold, or really, travel half way around the world when his newborn is a few weeks old.

i know he must be disappointed but there is nothing you can, or should, do about this apart from support your H.

exactly WSS

he won't want to leave his newborn, you should be congratulating him and telling him you both understand and expect lots of pics of the new addition. Would your OH leave you and a newborn to go to australia if it was the other way around, I don't think any man would.

my child and providing for him comes before anything no matter what it is. I wouldn't care if I broke someones heart over my child (infact I have done so and I mean heartbroken) but he means more than the world to me. ❤️

If he had, there might not have been another baby on the way...

I am a mum and completely understand! I just feel sad for my H2B as since his friend emigrated out there 5 years ago he has been a bit lost. He has other friends but none that compare to the friendship he had with him. It's just sad that the timing of brilliant new lives have coincided so that they can't be shared between best friends.

I can see why your OH is upset but im going to be blunt your wedding is probably not high on your bestmans list when he has a new wife, baby and house to deal with! You have plenty of time to ask someone else! i think we all get wrapped up in our own wedding and maybe cant see that to other people its just a wedding!

In all honesty, although I really feel for your OH being so upset and you hating to see him so sad, his friend isn't really in the wrong here. 8 months isn't really last minute, and he will have a tiny baby at the time of your wedding. I know if h2b had left me and our newborn daughter so he could fly halfway round the world for someone's wedding, I would have eaten him alive!!

It's an awful shame that he won't be there for your OH, but he's not done anything out of spite or a lack of caring; just a conflict of priorities.

ha ha ha

I can see both sides here. I think you and your OH have a genuine reason to be a bit miffed at the fact that he could have told you sooner. Maybe they were waiting for the 12-week mark before they told anyone, maybe it was a bit of bad planning for their part, maybe they've been trying for ages to get pregnant or it was a complete accident - there are so many variables, and I think you should cut them a little bit of slack. Or maybe the mate was trying to summon up the courage or didn't know how to tell your OH. I bet the mate is gutted he can't make it as well.

But if it were the other way round would you expect your OH to leave you and a newborn and spend hundreds on an air ticket to Australia? Even for your best mate thats a big ask.

Ok, so it's a shame he can't make it, but with 8 months to go at least you have a chance to get someone else in as best man.

It is a shame as it won't be the same without his best friend BUT he just has to get on being excited you're both getting married and have a think about who he'd like in his best friends place. Why don't you chat to him about sending over a little box filled with important bits from the day for his friend and his wife to see.

I think the shear disappointment for him as taken over the thought of reality. I think once he excepts that his friend won't be here he will then be ready to share the excitment of his friends new arrival.

Thanks for the words of reason girls x