Best Man protocol

I think you should ask who you want. Maybe your brother didn't have a close friend he wanted for the job or MAYBE he gave in to pressure from your mum. Politely stick to your guns it's your choice.

Thanks Jayne - yeah I think that might be the case. My brother's closest friend is cripplingly shy, so probably wouldn't want to be in the limelight.

Maybe speak to your brother before the rest of the family. If mum makes a fuss explain your decision as you did here. She may make a fuss thinking your brother would feel put out but I bet he's not.

I would do whatever you want - it's your wedding and everyone will understand I'm sure! We've actually had a similar situation and are actually having 2 best men (no ushers), we are going to divide the jobs between them and have the best friend doing the speech and as he has already looked into the stag do (before being official asked) he'll be doing that 2! The brother will be more of an usher I suppose but will officially be a 'best man' - that could be an idea?

Hope you sort something :-)

A lot of weddings nowadays have two best men. That could be a workaround if family politics get tricky

I may not be much help but my OH is having 2 best men, so that could be an option if you did want to have them both

Same here - My OH is having 2 best men! Its not unusual so if you'd like to have them both then just go for it! Personally, I wouldnt want to ask someone to be involved in my wedding just because my mum wants it (but then again Im just really stubborn!) but if you think it will be nice to ask your brother as well then go for it!

Another here who's OH is having 2 best men. He was best man in a wedding last year where there were 3! So if you felt pressure, you could have both but have your friend do the speech. Your brother can help out with the stag but they can do it together so your friend would be able to guide on the sort of thing you would like.

But also like others have said, don't feel like you have to do that. If you speak to your brother and he wouldn't be upset, that should be enough for your mum.

Thanks for all the advice! Seems like the multiple Best Man option is pretty popular! Maybe I'll go down that road and assign them different tasks (Friends vs Family stag do etc.

Cheers all!

I'm having two best men, simply because the three of us have been friends for the same length of time and I really couldn't choose one over the other.

You can assign them different tasks or let them share - there is no reason why they can't both do a speech.

Hey!

We have 2 best men, one is quite shy and doesnt really do the whole public speaking part and the other is totally opposite and is used to presenting and talking infront of big groups.

They are both sharing organising the stag etc and on the day one will do the rings etc and the other will be the witness.

Worth thinking about if you cant chose but don't ask for the sake of it, it has to be what you want.