Big dilemma and my mind is racing :o(

Oh dear.... i dont know what to suggest....

the way i see it if it were my sister, if she didnt want to be my bm due to her bloke not being bestman then so be it, as long as both were at the wedding.......

as for the honeymoon...... I'd be tempted to have the full day and a delayed honeymoon....

I dont know how I would react recieving a letter from the bride n groom saying their day was changing so that they could afford a honeymoon....my nose might be out of joint if their day meant a lot to me, and being there for them meant a lot to me. Then again, I might be the type of friend or relative who would whole heartedly support their decision.....

sorry, crap advice........ but I wouldnt hint that it was to save money, personally....

I wouldnt be offended personally but i am a bride to be and we tend to understand

I would probably word the note saying 'due to a change i personal circumstances' not we want a honeymoon

or how about having a honeymoon gift list so u can have both the full day and a honeymoon?

I woudnt let on to anyoone it was to save money, i would have to say some thing else. BUT everyone will still attend the actuall wedding which is the important part and still get the party, we still get a wedding and a special day and we get a honey moon.

I just dont feel as happy to spend all the money now after we had the fall out with my sister, we were all very close and im worried its just ruined the atmosphere of the day now :o(

Im not happy at all now, i dont want to cancel the whole thing but i definately want to change it.

The whole wedding has seemed to be Jynxed right from the start!!

I'm NOT a bride to be and i DO understand.......

Your ideas natty sound fine, as you say no one will miss out.....discuss it with your fiance and sleep on it. Make a plan of action tomorrow. Sorry that things with your sis have taken the shine off a little x

If its what u both definately want then do it hun xx

Tee hee sorry i was not directly that comment at you and i am sorry if i have caused offence - I meant it more about the guests who are invited to the wedding..

Natty go for it - get a pad and work out all the bits that would need changing and all the bits that can stay the same..start from there and the rest will fall into place, you may even save more money on areas you hadnt thought about xx

Have you spoken to your venue? Is it possible for you to change so close to the day? I would personally say do whatever makes you happy!

But dont let this ruin your wedding x

You should do exactly what you and your H2B want to do. I agree that you should sleep on it and then make a plan of action.

One thing I would say, your wedding day is about 2 people, you and your H2B. Don't change your plans just because your sister is sulking and won't be your MOH just because her partner is not being best man. If you want to change it then do but make sure it is both want.

If I received a letter or card saying the plans have changed due to personal circumstances, I would understand and many people will too. If you do change your mind, I would recommend letting people know ASAP.

I think getting married late and having one do for everyone is a great idea......just check with your venue that they are happy for you to just have the one 'do' as a lot of places expect you to have a formal sit down meal and then an evening buffet afterwards - I know our venue would only allow the full shabang (sp?) for a Saturday at busy times but yours may be different, especially as you've paid the room hire cost.

As for telling people, you could just print off a little note, very informal, saying change of plan, we will now be getting married at 4pm, and then straight into a reception where we hope you can join us in starting our married life together. I wouldnt mention the reason why, it's no-ones business and had you had those plans at the start no-one would have questioned you. It's your day, so have the day you really want and feel comfortable with.

I would have to agree with checking with the venue, as we mentioned changing some thing that we didn't want and ours threw a strop.

as for the chair covers and center pieces we r having both and are only having a buffet, i just think it makes the room look a lot nicer.

I agree with the others. Change your day only if you both want to and not because of your sister because you may well regret it. I wouldn't be offended if the time of the ceremony etc was changed but I would want to know asap because hairdresser appts, possible less time off work (i.e. someone could go into work in the morning and save a few hours annual leave) all might be arranged and your guests will need to make other plans.

Definitely check with your venue asap. Also some registrars don't do ceremonies are 4pm so check that out. I'd still lay the room out the same personally.

One big benefit could be having all your guests there all day. I used to say before I realised how expensive weddings were that I would invite all guests to the full day but I was naive then to the flipping costs!

Sleep on it and talk some more tomorrow xx

Go for it if thats what you want, I can't imagine anyone who cares about you minding in the least.

Morning, natty

how are you feeling about it today?? Everyones given some great advice/suggestions here.... hope its helped x

You should do what you feel is right. If you want to do that, its fine

Could you not cut down on a few things to save you a bit of money so you can still have your whole wedding day? For example, cut out chair covers (dont know how you'd feel about this as you might need them), maybe only pay for 75 extra evening instead of 100...little bits like that might save you a few hundred pound and you can have a lovely honeymoon for a week somewhere?

Just an idea, as i know for me personally, i would regret not having the day i had always dreamed of.

Where do you want to go on your honeymoon?

xxx

Good plan as that reminded me suz..... i didnt order a buffet for everyone....but food for 60 instead of 80...at least nothing was left over!

Thank you everyone, Im happy to change it around like that but H2b thinks we will look like idiots and like we cant aford to do what we had planned (which is kind of true) We could of payed for what we had planned but just had no honeymoon and the day feels a bit crap now anyway. (Not that it will be, Keeping positive!!)

Im going to talk to the Vicar tomoro and then the venue on Tuesday and see what they say.
If all is ok with them then i have to get my arse in gear and get out cards to apologise! And think of some good wording!!

And then somehow i have to change the evening invites to the day time (although i dont know if i should just leave them as evening to save the hastle :o/

I will let you all know what the vicar and venue say.

Thanks Ladies x

Natty, it definately can be done! We are getting married at half 3 and just having a buffet in the evening. We are also inviting everyone to the ceremony.

I really wanted to get away from the whole traditional sit down meal thing.

If thats what you want then go for it. x

Kirsty - whats your day timetable if you dont mind me asking? I need to get my head around how the day would work x

Hi Natty

It can be done am getting married at 4pm then having an evening do with buffet. i have sent out all my invites but now after my venue have been arses i am looking for somewhere else so am looking for somewhere else then will send out letters/ cards explaining the change "due to circumstances we have had to change the evening reception to ....." .

At the end of the day i dont see why anyone would complain there still invited to your day and thats it at the end of the day it is "Yours and your H2B specail day do it how you want it " and not how everyone else wants you to have it.

Go for the honeymoon lol !!!

xxx

I haven't really worked out the logistics of it all yet but it's something like this:

3-30 - 4-30 - ceremony

4-30 - 6-00 - photos at church, then me and h2b will go off with tog for few photos together while everyone gets to reception venue

6-30 - buffet

7 - 7-45 - speeches & toasts

7-45 - open disco, first dance etc.

HTH x

Just an idea but could you maybe book a last minute deal for your honeymoon using any money you recieve as a wedding present (thas if you dont already have plans for it) cut down on things like chair covers, only cater for 75% of your evening guests and cut out drinks on arrival also if you booked a band could you change to a dj? If you use your wedding money and make these cut back would this help with the honeymoon and still give you your big wedding?

Ok so the vicar is cool and he said he will marry us at 4pm

Just got to sort out the venue. The vicar even offered to do something at the church for the guests whilst were having photos done like pimms & canapes or cream teas etc

Not sure what to do tho?? Any ideas??

Will let you know how i get on at venue tomoro!

Awwww what a lovely vicar!

Yes he is a very nice vicar, young and hip!!

Now ive got to come up with something that would be easy to serve at the church!! who knows!!!!

Go for it I say!

Our wedding is at 4pm also and we are having an evening buffet consisiting of 130 guests and a buffet. We are having a table plan, seat covers, centre pieces etc.

How about strawberries with little pots of cream or dipped in chocolate.

at mine am having my newphews give the favours while i have my photos taken.

I tyhink you and your OH need to sit down and have a proper chat. and then maybe your sis, her OH, you and your OH also and clear the air. It might be that they will be back on track again for the wedding. I think its a wee bit rude I think to kind of uninvite someone from a job like that.

If you are changing the day, you will need to let people know about the change of plans, and be prepared to tell them why!