Big snag, sorry for venting

Sorry to hear things are tough. What things have you already paid for in full? Is there any way of cutting back on other things to make it do-able?

Is there a way to cut back and go ahead anyway? Afterall, it isn't just about the big day... You could always have a huge blessing at a later date with everybody there?

Good luck?

Maybe we can help with practical advice - echo Soulmates, what have you already paid for and put deposits down on?

Having had a lot of debt in the past and worked damn hard to get out of it, I usually NEVER suggest this, but... what about a loan? You say it was a 'small' wedding fund so presumably that'd be a small loan; knowing what deposits can total, it seems a real shame to lose the money you've already put into it.

Certain things can certainly be cut back on - eg wedding dress from Monsoon or various (reputable) online places - my original choice was £150 made to measure! It doesn't have to be massive - you could make your own bouquet with some nice blooms bought from Tesco and sparkly pins and ribbons. Get a friend to make a cake, if one of the deposits is for your tog, explain the situation and negotiate a different (cheaper) package.

Big hugs to you as it must be awful to suddenly have this disaster right after sending STD cards as well

Thanks for the support.

We've not really paid for much so far. The photographers deposit is paid, and we are on one of the cheaper packages as it is. Venues here are all expensive for the reception but have paid the deposit there, for their cheapest package. Have bought my dress (was only £300, bargain!) so thats done and paid for. But just not sure how to fund the rest of the meal (packages so cant have any cheaper meal etc, we opted for least cost already).

Bridesmaids are doing themselves, we have picked a dress and they are paying for it, along with sorting own shoes, hair etc. I really do have lovely friends. I was just going to buy them a necklace each as a gift. But it's things like cars, flowers etc, knowing we need to find money to plug into the house, I can't see where we will get any extra from.

But you never know, perhaps I'll win the lottery? hehe, think positive my mum tells me

Roughly whereabouts are you? This may help some local hitchers give good advice based on local knowledge.

Work out how much you can save between now and your date, how much stuff will that cover? Your reception is the big one, might be worth talking to the venue to see if they have any suggestions.

You could maybe see if your tog would accept the remaining balance a month or 2 after the wedding? he could withold the pics till you have paid him?

Do you need cars? Have any friends got something suitable? you don't know unless you ask!

Flowers, if you consider having silk they are very reasonable.

Cake, M & S do nice ones, a few girls on here have had them

Suits, you can buy reasonable suits for less that hiring, matalan, asda etc.

Don't give up hope x

Had a few thoughts..........

Flowers- don't bother- table centre pieces can be anything- feathers can look amazing, candles, bowls of fruit (sounds random but I've seen bowles full of lemons and apples which look lovely). Make a button/jewel bouquet (sp?)

Cakes- family friend/mum? it dosn't need to be a 5 tier masterpiece! you could ask a number of friends to make a cake each and have a selection

Cars- is there anyone you know with a nice car- stick a couple of ribbons on and hey presto wedding car

stationary- you can make this yourself- stick to a simple yet striking design which will help keep costs down

Favours- don't bother no-one will notice

Catering- is this included in the price?? if not maybe go for a buffet option- could also serve this later so you only need to feed people once

Suits- maybe only your OH needs to hire rent one or hit the high street- groomsmen could wear one they already own and then just get them matching ties/waistcoats?

Ring- again you don't need to spend a fortune- our's are from HSamuals and cost £350 for both (you could have a temp ring if you want something special long term)

Hair and make up- start having 'trials' with your BM's now- with a few attempts they should be able to help you achieve the look you want

Finally- I know you said mony is tight- just save as much as you can where you can- figure out what you can save and set budgets for everything

I'm sure it can be done somehow- there is always a way- stay positive!!

I'm sorry to hear this, I can imagine how upsetting it is.

Can you ask family for help at all? My cousin is making the cake, my brother (a chef) is doing food and have the cheapest venue ever? We have almost no savings but are putting a bit aside each month and hoping big payments won't be needed until closer to the time! You'll might be surprised how many people are willing to help out, even in little ways

OK, well a few thoughts. First of all, if you have to postpone, it may not be the end of the world. We had to postpone from March 2012 to Aug 2012 due to my work sending me on an 8 month course they had said wouldn't happen until next April. Hmm. We had most things booked, but as long as we were moving the date, not cancelling, they transferred deposits etc to a new date. It has cost us a little more since we're now peak season, but we didn't actually lose money. Something to haggle with the venue maybe?

If you do go ahead with plans, then remember that all a wedding needs is a bride, a groom, a celebrant and a witness. The rest is optional. I'm not for one minute suggesting you pop down the registry office in jeans and tshirt, but the fanciest wedding in the world can have hidden savings. My first wedding was uber-fancy - stately home, coach and horses etc. However, we used my Dad's car (bog standard saloon) with pretty ribbons for Mum and the BMs, and it fitted in fine. No-one would have seen I was cost cutting. Vistaprint do pretty much free invitations, as long as you don't go OTT with them. Rings - well, I think Tesco / Argos do plain 2mm 9ct bands for about £30 each. As someone else said, if you wanted to upgrade on a significant anniversary, you could. Flowers - talk to a florist and see what they can do. If you incorporate lots of nonspecific foliage, it brings the cost down a lot, as does using cheaper flowers (i.e. carnations not roses). There's also the option of fake flowers - check ebay for suppliers.

It seems your only real problem is paying the balance for the venue. can a family member help you out as a wedding gift maybe? Or at least lend you the money until you're back on your feet?

HTH a little. I know the pitfalls of houses - we've just moved and thought the house didn't need much doing. So far we're needing a roofer, a plumber, a new built in oven, and total redecoration! Aargh

xxC

I know the feeling, we've bought the house only to find rot through all the joists, so the £7k we had for the entire wedding has bee swalloed by contractors plus we still owe more, all taking away from what we can save in the next 9 months until the wedding! humh. oh well.

Thank you for all the ideas, I am reding through them and seeing what I can negotiate/edit/cut back on without my OH getting stressed. I think he would rather push it back a year than cut back and have less than the nice family celebration we want. But we shall see. My cousin is helping me make the cake and then she is decorating it (has always been amazing at it).

I'm in Guernsey, so only so many options with regards to shops etc, but will work on what I can. I was considering corsages for bms (much cheaper) but ebay dealers have some great artificial flowers so if they look good they are a bargain (and maybe I can convince other half to let me have fake too lol).

As you say, rings, flowers, favours etc can all be cut back and simplised, and therefore cheaper, its the big things that are the issue. Perhaps a christmas and birthday not will be sent requesting wedding donations rather than gifts?

Thanks for the help, its good to know people have ideas, and I'm sure if we can somehow go ahead next summer, you will see much more of me with my ideas and requests for ideas lol. You have helped me feel much better about things, thank you everyone.

Not too many hitchers from there I suspect, although it is a lovely island. I hope that you sort things through to a happy ending.

Peter

Ah, you've been here! Most people don't know where Guernsey is. Lovely place, but not many options for big things, but I'm working on cost cutting where possible.

The loan/credit card idea might not be for everyone but there's lots of credit cards you can get that are 0% interest for a year or more after you get them. I have a tesco one which i think was for 15 months. Could be an option to pay for some of the larger things if you're able to pay it off over the following year. Well done on the dress bargain btw!

Indeed...and more than once.....I prefer it to that "other" island a bit further south? Spent some time on Herm too,....

Have you thought about doing an alternative gift list?

I thought about putting together a list where I had items such as cake, flowers, favours etc at gifts, which people can choose. My feedback is that most people would prefer to contribute something like that than a couple of hand towels or a gravy boat.

☹️

I've been there as well. I'd been seeing Aidan for 3 months when I came home to find my bookshelf doing an impression of the leaning tower of Pisa!! My joists had wet rot, not related to the floods of 2007, and it cost me £12000 to get a new concrete floor downstairs. (My house insurance didn't cover wet rot, dryrot or infestations).

I didn't have anysavings, so went to the bank and got a 7 year loan for just under £230 per month. I had to pay for a new carpet as well, as because it got wet rot through the joists the insurance wouldn't pay.

We managed to do our wedding for less than £5k. That included feeding 64 people at just under £30 per head. Have a look at my report to see some shots. My tog was £450 for 2 hours including a 30 print leather bound album.

I'm sure you'll be able to do things on a small budget.

As you won't have a lot of choice of shops the internet could save you a lot of money. I had a bride last week from Guernsey who had ordered 6 BM hheadbands from a dress shop and only recieved 5, I was able to get another one for her, and the post is still normal postage so doesn't add too much. I have had 2 weddings the big full on white wedding and the small family registar office with carvery meal and I have to say I enjoyed them both as much.