I have a Great Aunt, my Gran's sister, who is 80. My Gran died 10 years ago. I have always kept in touch with Aunty Ruth because there have been parallels between her life and mine and, obviously, because I am fond of her. This has always taken the form of a letter and we have been in touch on and off for the past 15 years. Some of the things we have shared have been quite initimate - I wrote to her a lot during my marriage break up and she was lovely and kind.
She's the youngest of 5 and is widely known in the family as being a bit of an oddball. However, she has had some horrible things happen to her - she had TB when she was a child, she had an abusive husband and left him taking nothing, at a time when there was a real stigma surrounding being a single Mum. Her son was mentally ill and she put up with years of physical and emotional abuse from him before he died suddenly of heart failure in his 30s. She's bitter and prone to lengthy bouts of self pity (and, I am sure, depression.) I just tend to take her as I find her. I write to her once or twice a year and sometimes she responds, sometimes she doesn't. She didn't want to come to our wedding, and will do almost anything to avoid any sort of social activity. From an outsider's perspective she seems to refuse all offers of company, and then feels that she's all alone and no-one cares.
Anyway, I wrote to her at Christmas with a little family update. She hasn't responded for quite a few years now - probably about 5. Today, I received this letter (verbatim) with a cheque for £200:
"Hello there
Thank you for your letter. It did my heart good to read how you (and your H) put your boys first being interested in their football and the garden.
I was six years old spend six months in hospital and six at home, not once did my mother try to teach me to read or spell.
I left school the bottom of the class. The money is for the two boys.
Please do not send me a thank you present.
Just carry on the good work.
Love Aunty Ruth xxxx"
I don't know how to feel and I certainly don't know how to respond. I feel embarrassed. Sometimes it feels as though she thinks I stay in touch so she will give me money - this is absolutely not the case.
How would you feel and what would you do next? Maybe I am too close to the situation and feel as though she is being a little bit manipulative. However, this could just be family history. I think the main reason it feels weird is because she's not spoken to me once, not even chit chat, in over 5 years, and then sends this letter and a cheque.
