blowing the budget :-(

Hi Sambarine - don't let it get you down! Yes, it's a lot of money to go over by, especially if it's hard/impossible to come by, but I'm sure if you think about it there will be places where you could cut back. Have yout hought about silk/artifical flowers? Or stripping back the decoration? Or not having chair covers? Or doing something different with the cake? What about the bridesmaids outfits, might they be able to help?

Obviously I don't know if any of this will help, but it's something to think about. And if there really isn't ANYTHING you feel you can cut back on, then it's not really a waste is it? Because your day will be exactly as you want it to be!

We don't want to compromise on the catering side either and like you we had to pick from the venue's list of approved caterers. The food comes to 40% of our budget. With over 4 months to go we're still on budget but we are making a lot of things ourselves, ie stationery, decoration, ipod music, etc. Like the person before me has suggested, cutting back on a few things does help. Are there things you can make yourself?

Thanks ladies. I've already bought my bridesmaids dresses (£80 each) and agreed to pay for their makeup (£25 each), and flowers (£15 each). I don't want to reneg on that as one of the girls (my FSIL) is a student and coming to the wedding from overseas. However, I have "lost" 2 BMs, as my brother has split with his GF so she and her daughter are no longer in the wedding. So, I will try to sell on the 2 dresses they won't be using and that only leaves me with 2 girls to pay for flowers and makeup, which helps. A friend is DJing, we're not having cars (altho we are providing taxis for guests between venues), the invites have cost us £30, and the cake is "only" £150 (I don't know anyone willing to make the cake for us). We're also only having flowers at the reception venue, no chair covers or other decor as I don't feel it particularly needs it. Plus I have no crafting/diy/artistic skills AT ALL! So it's hard to see where we can trim down. I am going to use some Xmas money to get the alterations done on my dress, so at least that won't come out of the budget.

The biggest costs I think we can save on are

1) the suits - groom wants top hat and tails, non-negotiable - which is £112 each, and he wants 4 ushers, best man, and then of course there's my dad - so that adds up to o£672, even with the "groom goes free" deal! So I've told him that he either needs to cut the ushers to 2 (he hasn't asked them yet), or we need to ask the men to pay for their own suits (apart from my dad, feel like since he's paying for it all we can't ask him to pay for his own suit).

2) photo booth - I have wanted this from the very beginning. I love the idea of a photo guest book, favours, and its lots and lots of fun for guests. But at over £500 for the hire, I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to wave goodbye to it.

3) flowers - we've already paid the deposit for flowers, and they've quoted us £439 for everything, which is pretty good. But we'll now have 2 less bridesmaid bouquets, and I can scale down my bouquet (currently £60 but I can get a smaller one for £40), and we can have the church flower guild arrange the church flowers, so that would cut the cost of the largest arrangements.

I think my biggest problem is that h2b has taken the attitude that we want what we want, we should suck it up and pay for it all and worry about it after the wedding. And in a way, I see his point, because as long as we don't go any further over-budget we do have enough funds to cover it all. But I feel slightly sick at the thought of all the money that's being spent, plus I feel like I won't enjoy our honeymoon if every day is just racking up more and more debt

I have to agree with your h2b? I am the same but you have to be careful and don't let it run away?

Photo booth wise you can diy one and I have seen recently at weddings the guests love them. One venue I shoot at a lot now hire a diy photo booth and its always a big hit with the guests.

My daughter runs a mobile photo booth which starts at £495 and that's for a vintage caravan to come to your wedding? she has only just started so we are in the process of trying to get some set up photos of it but the weather isn't that great at the moment.

http://www.tiffanythevintagecaravan.co.uk/

How far is it betweeen venues for the guests? I think you're being quite generous in paying for taxi's, which could end up costing a lot! Perhaps scrap the idea all together, (assuming it's not too far out fo teh way,) or look to hire a coach or mini-bus? It might work out cheaper depending on how many guests you have. Obviously I don't know the detaisl, but it might be somethign to think about.

However, I do tend to be in agreement with your husband. It doesn't sound like you are beinig frivilous or OTT, so maybe just look at it from a different perspective. You're only planning on doing this once and it should be perfect. By the sounds of it, you're getting everything you want!

Thanks Bruce - how do diy booths work in terms of the camera? Do you need to hire/buy a polaroid? Unfortunately we're based in Manchester so a little far for Tiffany to travel ? I wish your daughter luck

They're 1.5 miles apart - so about 10 mins in the car. I think some local guests will happily hop on a bus (those with weekly passes to get to work especially), and we have a friend who works for a local taxi firm who will do us a low fixed rate, so it will be cheaper than hiring a mini-bus/coach. You're right that we're being generous, but it seems quite tight to ask people to make their own way between the church and venue, especially since the majority are from out-of-town.

My biggest worry is the photo booth - I feel like a bridezilla for wanting it so badly, especially as h2b isn't that fussed. But I really think I will bitterly regret not wanting one, which makes me feel like spoilt brat when we're getting everything else we want. And by cutting out that and asking for the men to buy their suits, we save over £1K. Sigh.

You're not the first couple to go over budget and you definitely wont be the last, so don't beat yourselves up about it too much.

Try to look at it like this; It may be the first time that either of you have ever planned a wedding and therefore you probably haven't always had an exact idea of what things will cost- at least not things that you both like. This can make it incredibly hard to put together a realistic budget. It's not that you've willingly gone out and blown money left right and centre, it's probably just more a case of under budgeting for some things, or forgetting to factor in little bits here and there- which really adds up!

The first time most of us give something a go, we're rarely spot on ?

There are lots of ways you can cut costs as the day draws closer, and there will be loads of great advice on here and elsewhere on line for anything you're struggling with specifically. Failing that, you can always get some of your outlay back after the wedding by selling off thing you've perhaps bought but are unlikely to use again.

I know it's easier said than done, but try not to stress if you can. The planning will be over before you know it, try and enjoy what you have left of it and take it in your stride.

Props can be anything really but Pound shop have some good ones and yes get a Polaroid camera and plenty of film, then WH Smiths do some really nice stick in albums where it has a bit of space for writing on, I am seeing this done at nearly every wedding now and there is always a fight to get to it??

Thanks very much guys, you've made me feel a lot better. I'm going to look into DIY-ing the photo booth, and see what we can work out with the other costs. Feeling much more positive about it now

Mine is excatly the same sweetie; I have a very carefully planned spread sheet put together and I have budgeted a very reasonable price for most things, but he still comes out with nuggets of nonsense such as "maybe we'll have the hog roast for the evening instead". This is instead of the hotdogs and burgers our caterer is provding at £4 per head, and costs over £2k! Not to mention that we've already booked the caterer...just brings unnecessary complication, so I feel for you!

Our food and venue is also the big cost that we can't cut back on, however we have had some help and got some discounts - Mum is getting our cake, my friend's OH is a graphic designer so they are doing our invites for free as a present, flowers I am doing myself with MOH, also said graphic designer is helping us put our wedding album together so we've got a reduced package with our tog for just the images. I think I've saved around £700 - £800 on those little bits alone.

Re your decorations, have a look on pinterest. I am not arty-farty/crafty in the least but there are some great ideas on there. I'm hoarding glass jars from everyone I know at the moment which I'm going to use for decoration (with candles, pine cones, ribbons, leaves etc). I'm also making the place cards from maple leaves sprayed gold. Do some more online research, I'm sure you'll find some good inspiration and tips ? x

Don't worry, I've gone over budget too, and for the same reason - expensive in house catering. I'm also having cheap BM dresses (£39 bargain from M&S!), family friend making the cake etc..to compensate and try to save where I can - but like you, lots of guests that I really feel I can't cut.

I worry hideously about money too. But I'm handling it by cutting back in other areas of my life; I'm doing food shops locally or at Aldi rather than big supermarket shops; I'm staying in at the weekend, only buying 1 bottle of wine a week; (good for the wedding diet too!) not buying clothes or shoes unless they are strictly wedding-related...it sucks but it allows me to think I won't feel guilty for inviting all the friends I want and having the wedding I want. I seriously plan on only doing this once, and dam it, I don't want to feel guilty about it!!

Why don't you write a list of everything you have left to buy and a rough estimate of its cost. See if you can cut costs, and if you can't - can you do something else short-term to make yourself feel like you don't begrudge putting it on a credit card? Can you get a cheaper alternative on ebay? or borrow from family / friends?

Also, if your guests haven't all responded yet you may find your costs are lower than expected - not everyone may be able to come...

Yeah, that's what I've done - cut all non related spending. I haven't bought any new clothes or unnecessary makeup for about 6 months and my two bags (one work and one non-work - I'm not really a bag person) are falling to bits! I cut down my visits to health food shops as well, as I always end up splashing out on fancy vegan treats when I go. I didn't cut out Starbucks though...that would be going too far

Don't beat yourself up. You need to enjoy your wedding. You've not gone stupid crazy with anything, just trying to put together a lovely day for quite a lot of people 95 day guests is a lot hun. What I would say though is it's not your responsibility to ferry people from the ceremony to the venue. I see no reason why people can't sort themselves out, they usually do, especially when it's so close.

Your budget is not overly tight but it;'s not overly generous either, it;s a reasonable wedding budget for 2015. I don't advocate going into debt unless you are comfortable with it and can afford to clear it. Your h2b seems very comfortable so perhaps you could be too.

xx

Thanks guys. Having thought about it, talked to a close friend, and had a long talk with h2b, I'm feeling much better. He is adamant that he wants to pay for the mens' suits, but has agreed that he will only have 2 ushers instead of 4. I've agreed not to have the photo booth - we will either have a DIY booth or, an idea my friend came up with, a "selfie wall" - basically stick a frame on the wall and a sign with instructions for guests to take a picture of themselves with their phones and upload it to our wedding website, then we can send them a copy with our thank you notes and print a copy off for ourselves as a keepsake. (we both like this idea a lot so I'm actually quite pleased with it). my friend has also offered to help me with the DIY projects as she is really good at those types of things. So I'll be making our confetti, table numbers & plan, signage, orders of service, place cards, pew ends, and assembling sugared almond bags for favours. We've also decided not to provide taxi's (you guys were right, it's unnecessary), and to cut back the florists' bill. And we've asked for a meeting with the venue to get a better idea of what our package is going to cost/see if there's a way to reduce the cost.

If we do all those things, it should give us some breathing space, and we're both willing to cut back on nights out/unnecessary spending til the wedding. InkedDoll, like you, I've reigned in a lot of "unnecessary" spending during the wedding planning, but am sure we can both do better with that! I feel much better now that h2b and I are on the same page, and more confident that we won't end up over-budget on the wedding itself. If we end up with a small amount of credit card debt for our honeymoon, we can both live with that.

Thanks again

Don't worry our budget has nearly doubled! I think we were quite naive at the beginning and didn't realise how much things we wanted would cost. My dad is paying for the majority if the wedding which is so amazing & we are so greatful. Tbh my dad has the same attitude as your h2b.....have what you want & don't worry about the money til later.

If I'm being honest I think paying for everyone's taxis is very unnecessary. I'd be very surprised if guests would mind paying for a short 10 minute taxi ride, especially if they will be discounted by your friend! They'd be more put out if it was a long journey. You say people are coming from far, won't they have their own cars then?? I've never been to a wedding where taxis have been paid for.....One wedding a big red bus was provided but all the other weddings I've been to we've had to make our own way to the reception venue. But anyway who am I to comment, you may think some parts of my wedding are unnecessary!

Our wedding is right in the city centre, so although some people might drive their own cars parking will be v. expensive and they're unlikely to move their cars between venues (there's no dedicated parking at either venue, just NCPs), so we've advised out-of-town guests to come on the train if possible. We've had a re-think though and decided that we'll get the ushers to make sure the guests can all find taxi's (there's a taxi rank around the corner from the church) and let them make their own way to the reception. I expect younger guests and those who are from here will likely either walk between venues or take the bus anyway.

ETA: I'm in the same position with my parents - they have provided the budget, and I'm sure if I told my dad we were going over-budget he would want to give us the money, but I feel guilty about taking it so we are trying to cover any over-spend ourselves. We're both lucky to have lovely dad's who just want us to have our perfect days!

Ahh that's fair enough about being in the city centre. Where are you getting married? Aww yes we are very lucky girls =) it's been a bit difficult with us as my dad didn't really give us a budget he just said tell me what you need. Don't want that to come around snobish or spoilt at all!! He doesn't have unlimited money or anything lol. Just mean that I would have much rather he set us a budget. Me & h2b will be inputting what we can as well though x

Yeah my dad did the same at first "just tell me what you need" and I insisted he set an amount, so 10 was what he ended up coming up with. He's also not particularly well-off - he's still working full time at almost 75! You don't sound snobbish or spoilt, I think we both just have old-fashioned dads who have always expected to pay for the big day. It's Manchester city centre, and I think that's part of the problem too - a big city is always gonna cost a little more than other places.

One thing perhaps you could do is sign up to a free website that allows guests to post photos from the day online. Then if you provide a small box of novelty dressy up things then they can take fun photos without the cost of the photo booth? Simple way of doing it but you could make a feature of it in the venue and most people have smart phones these days anyway. My friend used this website:

https://www.wedpics.com

Hope it helms!

I know how you feel, we aren't sticking to our budget which isn't great because we are paying 95% of it ourselves and we wanted originally a £5000 budget for us to pay but our venue was £2500, photographer we are looking at £1000, minister £200, dress, bridesmaids, kilt £2000 and thats not including photobooth, extras, honeymoon, etc! We are just thinking it will be worth it Don't sweat it! and if you feel bad about it you could offer to pay the extra spent back to your parents but by the sounds of it it sounds like they are happy to give you the extra if it means you have the day you want Luckily we have gotten a good deal with venue, although it was 2500 it includes pretty much everything, food, disco, room decor and they threw in the candy cart with jars for 50 quid and we just need to supply the sweets, my mums friends has a sweet shop so going to buy in bulk from her If you do want to cut the budget maybe not invite that many people? Or maybe don't have an open bar or big drinks package? Our drinks package is 3 drinks per guest included in our venue package, 1 for after ceremony, 1 during toasts and one for the meal, the rest they pay for, could save loads there? We were offered to upgrade to open bar but financially that would have hit us hard lol!

Good luck

thanks, this is a good idea!

Sambarine, it sounds like you've got yourself in a position where you are much more comfortable with everything that's going on. I'm really pleased for you, too many brides get all stressed and their day ends up being a bit of a relief that all the planning is over rather than the culmination of all of their hard work!

Good luck with the rest of your planning!

Everyone has give wonderful tips and I don't think I can add much more, but I definitely do not think you need to pay for everyone's taxis. have been to numerous weddings where church and reception are miles apart and we made our own way.

My friends did an excellent photobooth where they just hung a sheet up on a rail (you could use a screen), got a tripod and put a digital camera up, and had funny hats - why not ask each couple to bring a prop? The pics were great and cos it was set to auto most shots were really clear. Otherwise try gumtree as I have seen professional booths for less than £500. We are going to do the DIY version and I am not crafty at all.

On the cake - do you want a traditional cake? If not you could do a summer fete style and have a judging panel and ask guests to bring a cake? Or if there is a college near you, maybe ask the catering departments if any students would be willing to take on the cake? Often they will be supervised by tutors and theywill work in proper industry tsandard kitchens etc. Or we actually are having a cheese wedding cake, which costs about the same but will feed 100 and is a part of our evening food.

I hope that helps. xx