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Beginner August 2011

BM advice

Noodle2Be, 10 October, 2010 at 18:37 Posted on Planning 0 1

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I'm having a slight dilemma over to whether to have some friends as BMs. I have asked my best friend to be my CBM, but Im unsure if I should ask another two of my friends. The reason is that I always said I would before I was engaged, but then one of them got engaged before me and has asked me to be hers, and her wedding is just before mine, so I dont want to take anything away from her wedding or stress her out even more. The two friends sort of come as a pair, so if I ask one, then I ask the other etc. The other thing that is making me unsure is that I've not asked one of my oldest friends, as even though I was her BM, I just dont think that she is that reliable, so it maybe easier for her to understand if I only have one! I'm finding this very stressful, sorry if it doesnt make much sense, but advice over what to do would be much appreciated.

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Latest activity by goody51, 10 October, 2010 at 20:22

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GemmaLouise1986 · 10 October, 2010 at 18:43
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Hi. There does seem to be a lot of "well I was X's BM so I'll have her.". If you are your friend's BM would she not be upset she's not yours?

I appreciate one may be unreliable but in all fairness they do as much or as little as you want. Neither of mine have done much.

I was my SIL's BM but I haven't asked her. I was simply an after thought as she had her sister and three friends I think she felt obligated. All in all I shouldn't have accepted and she shouldn't have said yes, we were all doing "the right thing".

I just think if you're not fussed then why not have all three so no-one is upset? I wanted my best friend as BM so asked her then in all fairness I asked my OH's sister as I thought it was the right thing to do.....and she's thrilled so it was the right choice.
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Beginner February 2011
goody51 · 10 October, 2010 at 20:22
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I would be honest with your friend who is getting married before you and tell her you would like her to be BM but understand if it will all be too stressful for her. I am sure it won't be though.
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